Pretty sure everyone's moved on to myspace
I think the only one who reads this anymore is my sister:) So Helen this post is gonna need to be kept a secret:)
I ran away on Monday. Meghan went back to some old habits that she told me she wasn't getting into. If her sister finds out about it she'll get kicked out. She's beginning to suspect and I have to lie to make sure Meghan still has a place to live. But I want to tell because she's in a downward spiral. If she misses one more day of work she's fired. All her money goes to her new "hobby". It hurts me to know she's doing this to herself. I can't protect her and I have anxiety over it. I can't eat or sleep and I'm getting sick. I told her to choose between me or it and she chose it so I left her my phone and went to Mayra's on Monday. I called into work and missed classes on Tuesday. I had to leave or I would have checked into the hospital. It was really taking it's toll. I even started randomly throwing up. I needed to get away somewhere no one could reach me. No one knew where I was and it was so freeing. I feel much better now but this has been the longest break from Meghan since I met her. I hope she doesn't feel abandoned but I couldn't see her yesterday. I'm going to her sister's now and I hope I'm strong enough to face Meghan. I needed to get away....
On top of everything that's been going on, Brent messaged me monday(or that's when I got it). All it said was "hello". The first time there's been any contact between us in over a year. I miss him everyday. I don't know how to feel about this whole thing but I'm not going to get optimistic about it. It kills me everytime he cuts off contact between us. I won't let myself get excited about this....
My bank account was frozen on Friday cause I overdrew bailing Meghan out of jail. They didn't tell me til AFTER I deposited $900 worth of paychecks(Mine and Meghan's) so I had to go the weekend without anything. It's hard having to borrow money from people. I even had to call my grandma. I felt so low. The money's back now and I'm not touching it til I have to. I never want to go through that again....
I met an international student from Japan today. He intrigued me. That's my silver lining for the day.
I ran away on Monday. Meghan went back to some old habits that she told me she wasn't getting into. If her sister finds out about it she'll get kicked out. She's beginning to suspect and I have to lie to make sure Meghan still has a place to live. But I want to tell because she's in a downward spiral. If she misses one more day of work she's fired. All her money goes to her new "hobby". It hurts me to know she's doing this to herself. I can't protect her and I have anxiety over it. I can't eat or sleep and I'm getting sick. I told her to choose between me or it and she chose it so I left her my phone and went to Mayra's on Monday. I called into work and missed classes on Tuesday. I had to leave or I would have checked into the hospital. It was really taking it's toll. I even started randomly throwing up. I needed to get away somewhere no one could reach me. No one knew where I was and it was so freeing. I feel much better now but this has been the longest break from Meghan since I met her. I hope she doesn't feel abandoned but I couldn't see her yesterday. I'm going to her sister's now and I hope I'm strong enough to face Meghan. I needed to get away....
On top of everything that's been going on, Brent messaged me monday(or that's when I got it). All it said was "hello". The first time there's been any contact between us in over a year. I miss him everyday. I don't know how to feel about this whole thing but I'm not going to get optimistic about it. It kills me everytime he cuts off contact between us. I won't let myself get excited about this....
My bank account was frozen on Friday cause I overdrew bailing Meghan out of jail. They didn't tell me til AFTER I deposited $900 worth of paychecks(Mine and Meghan's) so I had to go the weekend without anything. It's hard having to borrow money from people. I even had to call my grandma. I felt so low. The money's back now and I'm not touching it til I have to. I never want to go through that again....
I met an international student from Japan today. He intrigued me. That's my silver lining for the day.