(no subject)
I keep trying to write public entries, and they constantly wind up in private territory. It seems the only thing I can talk about is Spain.
In that case, I leave in less than 5 days. It is freaking me out, I feel like I am going to hurl when I think about not living here. So really I am not dealing well.
Emotional basketcase-ism.
And most nights I am crying, because things aren't the way I wanted them to be.
Lately, I've been feeling like I am living a life that isn't mine. And I don't really know how to describe that, other than I am just in complete disbelief about me going to Spain, about me not being with Bryon (because I genuinely believed he and I were going to make it through me being away). It might just be the New Year. It tends to throw me off every year, because I can't believe a year has passed since the last.
Life is crazy.
In that case, I leave in less than 5 days. It is freaking me out, I feel like I am going to hurl when I think about not living here. So really I am not dealing well.
Emotional basketcase-ism.
And most nights I am crying, because things aren't the way I wanted them to be.
Lately, I've been feeling like I am living a life that isn't mine. And I don't really know how to describe that, other than I am just in complete disbelief about me going to Spain, about me not being with Bryon (because I genuinely believed he and I were going to make it through me being away). It might just be the New Year. It tends to throw me off every year, because I can't believe a year has passed since the last.
Life is crazy.