(no subject)

[gsobean]

it's been a while. i find myself drifting here and there, checking in on this thing every so often. i must say i miss everyone dearly. i don't want to be anywhere else right now, but i do crave the frienships and moments of worryless joys of college. i haven't had those belly-deep laughs in a while. i find myself much more stressed out and overwhelmed than i think i should be. but really who's to say what is normal. i've been seeing a psychologist on the upper east side for over a month now. i think everyone should do it at some point in their life, if financially possible. i had not gone to a therapist since college, mainly due to money. but i have found it a big help to know i'd have someone to talk to when something important or overwhelming arises. it's not a complete solution. however, i've found myself reevaluating what i want out of life. i have spent much of my life looking down the road, creating this picture of what i think my life will be like. but i have often found things come to fruition that i never expected, and oftentimes more exciting opportunities than i even imagined. it's difficult, to let go and follow this path where it is taking me, but i guess that is what i must do.

logistically, life is the same for me. same jobs, etc. but i have gotten more teaching artist work recently, a couple locations in the bronx and harlem. i find that this is keeping me more grounded until i give my notice with babysitting next week. my hopes are to spend a weke and a half in may back home for sheena's wedding, and then come back up here to start a new. find a new job. spend more time with dan, but also have more time to spend with myself.