Ramblings, Insights and the Vent

Jun 16, 2009 08:59


Have you ever had a day and asked why you do everything you do?

I thought I’d post to clear my head.
 Lately I’ve been angry because those around me at times appear to discount my input and value. I’m the King of the world in almost every pursuit, I own or direct all of my semi-professional pursuit and with 22 years experience I really know what I’m doing, but I don’t lord over but try to lead as a servant to the overall goals, the king of compromise and détente.

I like to think of myself as a pretty charitable person. My house is open to those in need or simply looking at an escape, I constantly host events and activities [feed the masses if you will]. 
 Red Griffin Productions is a ‘zero sum’ activity and Murder Mystery Players looks to be a break-even or costly venture [travel and extra time spent on a hobby]. OKRF [directorship] has proven to be a financial windfall to a degree, but shear hours spent is outrageous. There are times when I make all of this look so easy that many take for granted the nuances and details that make the machine hum.

I find more and more I live for the entertainment and enjoyment of others, and those efforts are completely taken for granted. That coupled with familial expectation and compromise makes one wonder why do I do it?

So begins my selfish stage of the year when I look at my role as a servant and wonder why I’m not the master. I’ll question my role and by fall I will have decided what I do is for the betterment of all and tuck-tail/roll-over and step back up to the plate and not take a swing for the sacrifice run…

Such is my life in all regards…

D~

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