What's In a Kiss, chapter 6 - part II
Title: What's In a Kiss
Fandom: Chronicles of Narnia
Pairing: Peter/Susan, non-incestuous
Rating: PG-13
Summary: He always leaves her with a kiss. This Chapter - When Narnia celebrates an anniversary for the end of the White Witch's reign, a few of the visitors cause Susan to look at her siblings differently.
Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6-I
A/N: And here is the second part of chapter 6!
Chapter Six - Good Mornings, Part II: The Proposal
She finds Peter in his chambers, snoring. It takes Susan a good five minutes to rouse him, but when she does, he sits up in bed, groaning and holding his head in his hands. Susan pulls the red and gold sheets away from his body and encourages him to walk outside with her. “You could do with some fresh air,” she says, in a voice that is brighter than she feels.
She waits outside the door while Peter changes, and he meets her in the hallway, buttoning his tunic. He gives her a look, one she has come to recognize as his “Do I look presentable?” look. In reply, she smoothes down his blonde hair and tucks some of it behind his ears.
As they leave the castle, Peter greets every servant along the way. One would never guess that he was hungover. They step out into the sun, and Peter finally asks her what’s wrong.
“Why do you think something’s wrong?” asks Susan, wondering if she is always this transparent.
“I’m your brother,” he says. “I know when you’re not right.”
And so Susan tells him the events of the morning. She tells him of her walk with Prince Brin, and of her fight with Edmund - how sorry he had been, how dejectedly he walked away. She tells him of her conversation with Lucy on the beach, and how the words ‘You wouldn’t understand’ bear over and over in her mind.
Peter waits patiently as she speaks, listening intently, the way he always does. He hears of how worried she is about Edmund and Lucy, and how frustrated she is with them as well. He listens to her lament, “Have I not always been there for them? When they were little, did I not comfort them when they cried? Haven’t I always listened?”
She doesn’t understand why Edmund and Lucy won’t confess their troubles to her - why Edmund won’t tell her about Prince Brin, or why Lucy won’t explain why she is so sad.
When she finishes, she breathes deeply, and falls silent. Peter looks out at the expanse of land before them, seemingly lost in his thoughts. After awhile, he turns to her, a look of puzzlement on his face.
“Ed isn’t normally hostile toward your suitors,” he remarks, and Susan nods in agreement.
“I agree - that’s your job.”
Peter smirks. “Someone’s got to do it.”
“Anyway…”
“Right, then. I don’t understand why he wouldn’t just tell you. But Ed can be really emotional when he wants to be, just like a girl. He bottles things up, and then they just kind of…explode. There’s got to be a reason why he doesn’t like this Prince Brin chap, even if he’s being a mule and won’t tell you what it is.”
“What do you think?” asks Susan, biting her lip.
Peter shrugs. “I don’t see anything wrong with him. But Edmund’s our brother - I trust him before strangers. However, this has nothing to do with me. You should do what you believe to be right.”
“Than I shall continue to spend time with Prince Brin.”
Peter looks a bit disappointed in this decision, but nods his head nonetheless. “In the meantime,” he says, “I shall try to talk to Ed. Maybe he’ll tell me why he doesn’t like Prince Brin.”
“What about Lucy?” inquires Susan, and Peter frowns.
“I have no idea. Perhaps I shall talk to her as well.”
Susan sighs. “What about me? What am I to do, if I’m not allowed to talk to Prince Brin, and you’re talking to Edmund and Lucy?”
“Chin up, Su,” he says, smiling at her. “You’re a Queen. I’m sure there are a number of things you can do.”
--
She spends the rest of the day in the company of Lady Anel. The Lady has a request - to witness firsthand Queen’s skill for archery - and Susan is happy to oblige.
As arrows zoom through the air, Lady Anel sits languidly on the grass, fanning herself with a pale, ring covered hand. Her green eyes sparkle, and her wavy brown hair is beautiful against the wind. Her pink cheeks are rosy with excitement, as she speaks of nothing but Edmund. She praises everything about him, from his beautiful hair to his beautiful nose to his beautiful hands. “And, goodness, King Edmund is such a wonderful dancer! One wouldn’t think it to look at him - but he is so poised, so graceful! And his eyes! So intense and serious! I should love to stare into them forever!”
Susan feels rather lightheaded. “And what of King Edmund’s age, Lady? Aren’t you quite a bit older than he?”
Lady Anel chuckles. “Yes, I am, by perhaps four years. But what does age matter when it comes to matters of the heart?”
Susan swallows the lump in her throat. She has no idea how to respond to this statement, so she chooses to ignore it. “Lady Anel,” she says, releasing another arrow. She watches its progress through the air (bullseye), and then lowers her bow. “Now that I know of your thoughts on my royal brother, King Edmund, might you happen to know what your cousin thinks of him?
Lady Anel shrugs dramatically. “I think you should ask him, your majesty. After all, he has taken quite a fancy to you.”
“I would,” lies Susan, “but I do believe he’s with my royal sister, Queen Lucy.”
“Well, it doesn’t much matter. I’ve no idea his feelings about King Edmund. I don’t really see why dear old Brin would feel anything but friendship for him. I would think that Brin would want to look up to him. After all, he’s only a Prince. Edmund is King.” She closes her eyes in delight, smiling.
--
Dinner that night in the great hall is wrought with tension. Peter, unsuccessful in his attempts to talk to Edmund and Lucy, keeps his eyes focused on his food and doesn’t speak. Lucy and Edmund sit next to each other, her hand resting on his as he glares about the room, no doubt waiting for Prince Brin to enter it. Lady Anel throws glances in Edmund’s direction, but he either doesn’t notice or chooses to ignore her. Anyone can see that this leaves her confused and hurt, and Lucy keeps giving her sympathetic smiles. Susan holds her hands in her lap, twisting her fingers together.
Other guests at the table don’t seem to notice the tension, however, so engaged are they in their mindless chatter and delicious food.
Prince Brin eventually arrives to the feast, and Susan indicates the empty seat next to her. “Come sit down,” she says warmly.
Edmund shakes his head from side to side, as if he wants to say something but has resolved not to do so. Susan watches him with bated breath, but he just stares at her, his dark eyes intense, freckles paling against his skin. He remains composed throughout the meal, and afterwards, asks if he might walk her to her chambers. Susan accepts.
“I know that I was out of line this morning,” says Edmund as they walk arm in arm. “You told me that I was not being fair, and perhaps you were right. But I am not the only one who hasn’t been fair.”
“What do you mean?” asks Susan, wrinkling her brow.
Edmund clenches his jaw. “I understand why you refuse to listen to me, why you won’t trust my judgment.”
“Why?”
He looks at her sadly. “Because you still see me as a ten-year-old traitor. I betrayed Narnia, abandoned my family, abandoned you. I know you, Susan, and sometimes your heart can be unforgiving.”
Though his words are spoken quietly, Susan feels the brunt of them; it is as if he has slapped her across the face. “My goodness,” she breathes, “is that what you think? That I haven’t forgiven you?”
Edmund inhales deeply, then releases the breath slowly, nodding.
Susan feels as if she might cry. She can feel the tears behind her eyes, waiting to form, but she shakes her head; she will not shed tears in front of her younger brother. She’s cried in front of Lucy, and Peter, but she will never, ever, cry in front of Edmund. He’s been sensitive and emotional all his life, and Susan made a promise to herself when he was very young to always be strong in front of him.
“I don’t believe this, Ed,” she says, and her voice trembles only slightly. “I forgave you such a long time ago. Don’t you remember, that morning you came back to us? I hugged you, Edmund, and that was a hug of forgiveness. And two years ago, when you found out that Aslan sacrificed for you? Do you remember how we all wept together - the four of us - and spent the night with you? Would I have done that if I was uncaring?”
Edmund argues softly, “You said to me earlier that some things were unforgivable.”
“I spoke in anger, Ed. And, yes, you did abandon us, you did abandon me. But I would never abandon you, Edmund. I would never.”
“Do you promise?” he asks, and his eyes are graced with a sincerity that Susan hasn’t seen from him before.
“Of course I do.”
Then Edmund does something that surprised her: he smiles - a great, happy smile that shows his teeth and lightens his eyes, that changes his entire disposition. And Susan hopes he knows that she meant every word.
--
Susan wakes to the sound of chirping birds and the sun streaming through her window, as usual. But instead of looking forward to the upcoming day, she shrinks away from it, filled with dreads. A week has passed, and though Susan and Edmund have reached some semblance of an understanding, he still looks warily at Prince Brin when he is anywhere near her.
As for the Prince himself, Susan finds herself enjoying his company, though he has still not asked to court her. She can’t help but feel relieved by this - for she has decided that her feelings for him are that of friendship and nothing more. Perhaps his silence means that he shares those feelings; she dearly hopes so.
Lucy, however, spends no time with Prince Brin, or anyone. She hasn’t been herself since the night of the Ball, choosing to stay in her room most of the time, not allowing anyone to enter. Only two nights ago, Peter tried to speak with her, but Lucy had the door locked and ignored him as he pounded against it. This alone was unheard of for Lucy, for she never ignored Peter. Peter had been rather fretful that evening.
Susan has no idea what might be bothering her sister (though she wonders if it has something to do with Prince Brin), and this upsets her just as much as it does Peter. She doesn’t see why Lucy has not come to her yet, to cry and confess to her; she’s quite sure she’d be able to understand whatever it is Lucy’s going through, despite Lucy’s opinion to the contrary.
When she has dressed, Susan hurries to her sister’s chambers. This afternoon, Narnia’s visitors are to depart, all going back to their own countries. As Kings and Queens, she and her siblings have the duty to see them off - a duty that sometimes can last for hours. On these days, it has become a tradition for she and Lucy to dress, then walk united with Peter and Edmund into the throne room.
She knocks on the door timidly, not really expecting Lu to answer the door; she is genuinely taken aback when it opens. Lucy stands before her, still wearing a nightgown. A teddy bear is in her hands; Susan recognizes it as the one she gave Lucy when they first became Queens, to help her remember Finchley. She is strangely touched that Lucy has kept it so close to her all this time.
"Might I come in?" Susan asks, and Lucy leaves the door open and walks back into her bedroom. Susan assumes this is an invitation, so she follows Lucy, shutting the door gently behind her.
An assortment of dresses lay sprawled over Lucy's bed, and when Susan goes to seat herself, she makes sure not to sit on any of them. Lucy sets her teddy bear on the dressing table and turns back to bed, waving a hand at the dresses. "I can't decide what to wear," she sighs.
"Shall I help?" offers Susan.
"I don't need your help, Su," says Lucy, a bit exasperated, and Susan doesn't know what she’s done wrong.
Lucy bites her lip, gaze lingering on each of the dresses before picking up a red one, patterned with brown flowers and white trim. She holds it up against her body, glancing at herself in the mirror, then nods in approval.
Susan picks another dress from the bed - a long, yellow dress with flared sleeves - and holds it up. The red dress Lucy holds is suited for autumn, not summer as this one is. It's also more of an evening dress, rather than a daytime dress. Besides, the yellow dress is so fitting to Lucy's normal, bright personality. It would be impossible for her sister not to smile whilst wearing this dress, and there's nothing more that Susan wishes to see than her sister's smile. "This one is much better for you, Lu," she says, holding it up.
Lucy turns around, looking defensive. "You don't think this one would look nice?"
"Of course it would look nice, dear, I just don't think - "
"You just don't think it would look nice on me," interrupts Lucy.
With that, she throws down the red dress and grabs the yellow. As she changes, Susan can only stare at her in bewilderment, not understanding why her sister looks so upset. Lucy tears out of the room soon after, leaving her behind.
--
Susan sits in her throne regally, inclining her head to every bow and curtsy bestowed upon her. Lucy, on her left, grins and waves to each of their guests as they take their leave. Edmund is quiet and still, in his usual manner. Peter is the one who actually speaks, thanking everyone for visiting Narnia and taking part in the celebrations.
The goodbyes seem to last for hours, but then Prince Brin stands before her. He wears a lighthearted expression, but Susan can see the desperation there as well. The Lady Anel stands beside him, looking over at Edmund with hope in her eyes, though Edmund’s eyes are focused on Prince Brin.
Prince Brin steps forward after Peter has thanked him for visiting, and smiles nervously. “May I speak, your majesty?”
“Go on,” says Peter curiously.
When Prince Brin speaks, he has a determined glint in his eyes. “I was wondering if I might have the hand of Queen Susan.”
Gasps echo around the walls, and Peter raises his eyebrows, clearly not expecting these words. Lucy rubs her head, as if it suddenly aches, and stares at the marble floor. Susan places a hand over her heart, faint with surprise. All is silent for a few seconds, but then Edmund stands from his throne, hand on the hilt of his sword, giving the Prince an icy look. “Absolutely not,” he says, his voice strong and final.
Susan looks down in embarrassment, but Peter addresses Edmund calmly. “King Edmund, I think Queen Susan, can speak for herself.”
Edmund looks abashed, but remains standing. “You are right, High King. Please, dear sister, give the Prince his answer.” His voice shakes, but Prince Brin looks happy, as if all his dreams are about to come true. Susan hates that she is about to crush those dreams.
“I cannot marry you, Prince Brin,” she says. “I’ve known you only a month and you’ve not even asked to court me yet.”
“Well, then, might I have that pleasure?” he asks, and his winning smile is almost enough to convince her, but not enough.
“I am sorry,” she says, “but I cannot. I consider you a good friend, but I’m afraid my heart sees you as nothing else. I do thank you for your offer.”
She keeps her gaze on Prince Brin’s face, waiting for him to show some kind of emotion - sadness, confusion, even anger - but this does not happen. Instead, he gives a very curt nod, as if to dismiss her entirely. “Very well, then.” He turns, facing Lucy, who sits dejectedly on her throne. “Queen Lucy, might you be willing to accept an offer of my courtship?”
The gasps that echo throughout the hall are even louder than before. “Absolutely not!” rings out a voice, and this time it is Peter, though he remains seated. “Queen Lucy is far too young to be courted. Her majesty is only eleven!”
“With all due respect,” snaps Prince Brin, “but your grace allowed Queen Susan to speak for herself. Might the same courtesy be extended toward Narnia’s youngest Queen?”
Susan reels from shock at the sharpness in Prince Brin’s tone. In all their time together, he’s never raised his voice, nor spoken harshly. To an outsider, his words might seem fair, but they are far from it; they are patronizing. As she watches his lips twitch in anger, Susan realizes that he had been false all along. This realization renders her confused, and she can do nothing but stare blankly at him.
Edmund, however, draws his sword. “With all due respect, Prince Brin,” he spits out, “but my royal sisters are not prizes. In Narnia, we do not consider it proper to transfer affection from one lady to another so quickly. I will say that I doubt that your display today is marked by any kind of affection at all.”
“I agree, King Edmund,” says Peter, and his following words sound as though they are being forced out of his throat, “but the Prince Brin is right. Queen Lucy has a mind of her own, and we must allow her to speak.”
All eyes turn to Lucy, whose face is impassive. She looks out at her guests, then at Edmund and Peter, then at Prince Brin. One hand plays with the sleeve of her yellow dress, and then she stands; Susan sits.
Lucy draws herself up to her full height. “No.”
The word is simple, but it is enough to cause nearly everyone present to sag in relief (Mrs. Beaver claps her hands, while Mr. Tumnus wipes his forehead shakily with a hanky), but her siblings are especially thankful.
“Is your reason the same as your sister’s?” asks Prince Brin. “You feel only friendship for me?”
“No,” says Lucy again, suddenly looking very old. But her face is set with determination, and Susan can see the fire start to build again in her eyes. “I may be young, but I am not a little girl. I am a Queen. As a Queen, and a self-respecting woman, I will not be second best. I admit that I harbored a mere girl’s fancy for you, but the display you have shown here today, and the displays you have shown privately, have erased that fancy. I will not be courted by you, and it must be said that I do not feel friendship for you either. The sight of you offends me, and my country.”
She sits down, and lays her hands primly in her lap.
The entire room is stunned into silence by Lucy’s speech, and Susan feels a wave of sadness wash over her. Is this why Lucy couldn’t come to her - had she had been jealous of her relationship with Prince Brin? Susan glances at her, sitting stiffly, and sighs.
Edmund breaks her from her thoughts. “I believe you heard my sister,” he says, looking directly at the Prince. “Take your leave from this country.”
Prince Brin glares hatefully about the room. “You have made a mistake,” he growls. “I would have ruled well over this land, made a wonderful King.”
Peter points to his crown. “In case you haven’t noticed, Narnia already has two Kings.”
“Yes,” spat Prince Brin, “but one is not fit to rule. He is a traitor to this country, and to all of you!”
Edmund squares his shoulders angrily, and Peter jumps up from his throne, but it is Susan who speaks. Her heart pounds furiously against her chest, angry and defensive.
“King Edmund’s betrayal was forgiven long ago and it was just. You stand there, so self-righteous, but your heart is that of a hypocrite. I can only hope that before you become a King in your own land, your heart grows to be more like his - honest and caring. As of this moment, you are unfit to shine his shoes.”
Edmund looks over at her, as if seeing her for the first time, and Susan feels her heart swell with love for him. She gives him a small smile.
Prince Brin opens his mouth to say something else, but Lady Anel steps forward and lays a hand on his shoulder. “Cousin,” she whispers, “I think it is time to take our leave.”
Something changes in Edmund’s eyes, and he races toward the Lady. His hand finds hers. “Lady Anel,” he says, brushing his thumb across her knuckles, “Know that you are always welcome in Narnia.”
Lady Anel smiles sadly at him. “Thank you, King Edmund. But I shan’t be returning. I do not see you as the traitor my cousin does, but I am afraid my alliances cannot be divided. Prince Brin is my family, and I must align myself with him.”
Edmund gives Lady Anel a smile that harbors no ill feelings. “I shall be here when you change your mind,” he says cheekily, kissing her hand.
The smile remains on his face until every last guest at Cair Paravel is gone. Then he walks out of the throne room, his shoulders hunched low.
--
They find Edmund in his room, lying in his bed. He looks incredibly depressed, and Susan doesn’t blame him - his first love leaving combined with a reminder of his betrayal must be breaking him inside.
She stands in the doorway with Peter and Lucy, but Edmund doesn’t turn in their direction, though she is sure he has heard them enter. “Edmund?” she says tentatively. “Ed, dear, are you all right?”
“I’m fine,” he says, his back still toward her. His voice is rather choked up.
Lucy goes to him first, wrapping her arms around his neck. Edmund coughs unnecessarily, trying to be strong. When Susan throws her arms around him, too, Edmund shrugs off the two of them. “I’m fine,” he says, disgruntled.
“Ed, darling, I know this must be hard for you, but I assure you everything will work out for the best. Perhaps you can find another young woman who is, well, young. Closer to you in years. Or,” she starts hopefully, “perhaps you’ll wait to find another woman until you’re Lady Anel’s age.”
Edmund buries his face in his hands and moans. “Susan,” he whines, clearly embarrassed.
“Su,” says Peter in an admonishing voice, “don’t you know? Everyone says it’s better for a chap to pursue an older woman.”
“Peter!” groans Ed.
“Oh, do stop making fun of Edmund,” says Lucy, resting her head on his shoulder. “He’s been through enough.”
Edmund lets out an exasperated sigh. “I’m fine!” “She’s just a girl. I have enough of you in my life already.”
“Hey!” says Lucy, swatting his arm.
“That’s no way to talk about our sisters, Ed,” adds Peter.
“Well, then I’ll just stop talking, then,” smirks Edmund.
“Please don’t,” says Susan. “Let us simply turn the conversation to other matters…like why you and Prince Brin quarreled in the first place. I should really like to know.
Edmund sighs, then sits up in bed; Susan and Lucy do the same. Susan looks at her brother intently. He scratches his head, and looks questioningly at Lucy. Whatever he finds in her gaze allows him to begin, and he directs his words at Susan.
“Our quarrel was similar to what happened this morning. He asked to court you, Su, and I said it was your choice. Then I said I planned on courting Lady Anel. But he said no right away, and I asked why. I thought it was because I am only thirteen, but he said it was because he’d have no traitors courting his cousin. I said if he felt that way, perhaps he shouldn’t court you, Su. He said he wanted to court you because you were beautiful and because Narnia deserved two proper Kings. He said I wasn’t fit to sit on the throne because I was traitor. He said that he wanted to marry you, and that it would be your choice. I assured him that once his true colors were known, your answer would be no. Then, he…” and here, he trails off and looks at Lucy again.
Lucy squeezes his hand. “I don’t mind, Edmund.”
Edmund takes a breath, and turns his gaze to Peter. “He said that if Su refused, Lucy would say yes. He said she was just a silly little girl, and that even though she couldn’t compare to Susan, he would ask her anyway. He said she would say yes because she followed him round everywhere, had taken a fancy to him. ‘She’ll be my new puppy,’ he said. And at that point, I was so sick of him that I punched him.”
“Oh, Lu,” cries Susan, as she practically crawls over Edmund to reach her. Edmund moves out of the way, allowing Susan to squeeze between them. Susan holds Lucy close to her, stroking her hair. “That’s why you wouldn’t come to me.”
“I would have told you, Su,” says Edmund. “But Lu didn’t want me to.”
“Of course I didn’t,” mumbles Lucy, her head resting on Susan’s bosom. “You wouldn’t have understood. You don’t know what it’s like to have a sister that everyone compares you to. You’re so beautiful, Susan.”
“Lucy,” says Peter, leaning over to stroke her hair. “You’re beautiful, too. Don’t listen to what anyone says. And, besides, you’re still maturing!”
Susan nods. “In a few years, everyone will be calling you the beautiful one, dear. I have no doubts in my mind.”
“But more importantly,” says Edmund, “is that looks don’t matter. Lu, you could look like a dog for all I care. You’ll still be Lucy. A man should like you for that, for who you are, not for your outward appearance.”
“Not that any man should like you at all,” points out Peter. “Not in that way. You are young. The only men you should be spend time with are me and Ed.”
Lucy chuckles lightly, her eyes watery with happy tears; then her face changes. “What about Mr. Tumnus?”
Peter shakes his head solemnly. “Oh, no. I think you should stop going to his house for tea. He’s way too old.”
Lucy looks morose for a moment before she realizes Peter is joking; then she laughs loudly and breaks her hold on Susan to hug him. Susan giggles and even Edmund lets a chuckle loose, and then soon all four of them are holding each other and laughing.
--
Susan wakes up the next morning with the light of the sun beaming down on her. She lies on her side, on the far left of Edmund’s bed. Edmund sleeps next to her, and Lucy is snuggled up against him, her head nestled in the crook his shoulder. Peter is on the far right of the bed, next to Lucy, lying on his side as well.
When Susan opens her eyes, she finds Peter awake, too, and he is staring at Edmund and Lucy with a soft expression on his face. From that simple expression, Susan knows exactly what he’s feeling, for the past few days have stirred the same feelings inside of her.
When Edmund asked her why she hadn’t listened to his warning about Prince Brin, she knew, deep down, the reason. It wasn’t because she didn’t trust him, it wasn’t because she thought he was being foolish - it was because she didn’t want to rely on him. She was the big sister; she was the one who gave warnings and protection. Similarly, she only received warnings and protection from one person: Peter. Peter was her big brother, the one who she turned to for advice, the one who she would listen to, the one who would protect her honor.
Never in a thousand years did she think that one day, her little brother, who used to steal biscuits from her plate and savagely yank on her pigtails, would brandish his sword for her sake. And never in a thousand years did she ever imagine that Edmund would fancy someone, that he would pursue a woman and run his thumb along her knuckles and be so gentlemanly about it.
She looks at him now, sleeping with mouth slightly open, and accepts it once and for all - Edmund has grown up. Her eyes water with tears as she looks down at Lucy; her younger sister mumbles something unintelligible in her sleep and then turns over, now facing Peter.
Lucy’s grown up, too, reflects Susan sadly. She can still see Lucy as a baby, gurgling and smiling, can remember when Lucy would tug on Peter’s hair and poke Edmund hard on the nose, when she’d spit up food whilst in her high chair. She can see her as a child, gap-toothed, dimpled, and crawling into her bed during thunderstorms, shaking with fright. This image is a direct contrast to the girl before her now, who dances in the rain and who is the bravest person she knows.
When she was a child, Lucy used to bring all of her problems to Susan - silly problems like not being able to find a shoe before school, or not wanting to eat her peas at dinner, or soap getting in her eyes when she bathed. Now, Lucy will sort out a few of her own problems, without help, and bring to her much more complicated ones - feelings of unworthiness, jealousy, and unrequited love.
They have changed, her dear Edmund and Lucy. And she, too, will have to change. She won’t be able to play mother anymore, won’t be able to coddle and protect them from the world. She won’t be able to demand they go to bed at a certain hour, but accept that they are old enough to make their own decisions. Old enough to pave their own lives.
Oh, how her relationships with them will change. Oh, how much they have changed already!
And she will have to adjust.
She smiles and reaches for Peter. Tapping him lightly on the shoulder, Susan watches as Peter lifts his gaze from Edmund and Lucy. His eyes shining with unshed tears, he takes hold of her wrist. He looks at it strangely, and shoots her a confused look - Susan realizes he’s staring at the wrist that Edmund bruised. She shakes her head lightly, dismissing his silent query, and he touches the bruise gently before letting go of her hand.
A few minutes later, Peter rises from the bed, trying to make as little noise as possible. He walks over to her part of the bed, standing next to her as she beholds their siblings once more. She sighs softly, and he lets out a sigh of his own, then bends down and kisses the side of her head. “I’ll go see about breakfast in bed.”
She nods and he goes to leave the room, then turns around. “Oh, I almost forgot,” he whispers, grinning. “Good morning.”
Yes, thinks Susan, grinning back at him, it is a good morning indeed.
--
He kisses her because he understands.
--
Read the next chapter here! ♥
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A/N: Thanks for everyone who continues to read this! This chapter was so much FUN for me to write, because there were all sorts of things I wanted to address - how Susan would deal with Ed and Lu growing up (especially if romantic parties were involved), Edmund's betrayal, just the Ed/Su relationship in general, a drunk!Peter, Peter and Susan having a talk about "the talk", and the four Pevensies sleeping in the bed. I am amazed I got it all in there.
I would like to guarantee that the other chapters will not be this long, but all I can guarantee is that they will not be this long.
Also, this story is being updated at Fanfiction.net as well, HERE. I'm aiming to get 100 reviews over there (eventually, not just with this chapter, LOL), and my 100th reviewer will get Narnia fic as a present. So, if you'd like to review over there (or here and there!) that'd be fine. :)
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Fandom: Chronicles of Narnia
Pairing: Peter/Susan, non-incestuous
Rating: PG-13
Summary: He always leaves her with a kiss. This Chapter - When Narnia celebrates an anniversary for the end of the White Witch's reign, a few of the visitors cause Susan to look at her siblings differently.
Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6-I
A/N: And here is the second part of chapter 6!
Chapter Six - Good Mornings, Part II: The Proposal
She finds Peter in his chambers, snoring. It takes Susan a good five minutes to rouse him, but when she does, he sits up in bed, groaning and holding his head in his hands. Susan pulls the red and gold sheets away from his body and encourages him to walk outside with her. “You could do with some fresh air,” she says, in a voice that is brighter than she feels.
She waits outside the door while Peter changes, and he meets her in the hallway, buttoning his tunic. He gives her a look, one she has come to recognize as his “Do I look presentable?” look. In reply, she smoothes down his blonde hair and tucks some of it behind his ears.
As they leave the castle, Peter greets every servant along the way. One would never guess that he was hungover. They step out into the sun, and Peter finally asks her what’s wrong.
“Why do you think something’s wrong?” asks Susan, wondering if she is always this transparent.
“I’m your brother,” he says. “I know when you’re not right.”
And so Susan tells him the events of the morning. She tells him of her walk with Prince Brin, and of her fight with Edmund - how sorry he had been, how dejectedly he walked away. She tells him of her conversation with Lucy on the beach, and how the words ‘You wouldn’t understand’ bear over and over in her mind.
Peter waits patiently as she speaks, listening intently, the way he always does. He hears of how worried she is about Edmund and Lucy, and how frustrated she is with them as well. He listens to her lament, “Have I not always been there for them? When they were little, did I not comfort them when they cried? Haven’t I always listened?”
She doesn’t understand why Edmund and Lucy won’t confess their troubles to her - why Edmund won’t tell her about Prince Brin, or why Lucy won’t explain why she is so sad.
When she finishes, she breathes deeply, and falls silent. Peter looks out at the expanse of land before them, seemingly lost in his thoughts. After awhile, he turns to her, a look of puzzlement on his face.
“Ed isn’t normally hostile toward your suitors,” he remarks, and Susan nods in agreement.
“I agree - that’s your job.”
Peter smirks. “Someone’s got to do it.”
“Anyway…”
“Right, then. I don’t understand why he wouldn’t just tell you. But Ed can be really emotional when he wants to be, just like a girl. He bottles things up, and then they just kind of…explode. There’s got to be a reason why he doesn’t like this Prince Brin chap, even if he’s being a mule and won’t tell you what it is.”
“What do you think?” asks Susan, biting her lip.
Peter shrugs. “I don’t see anything wrong with him. But Edmund’s our brother - I trust him before strangers. However, this has nothing to do with me. You should do what you believe to be right.”
“Than I shall continue to spend time with Prince Brin.”
Peter looks a bit disappointed in this decision, but nods his head nonetheless. “In the meantime,” he says, “I shall try to talk to Ed. Maybe he’ll tell me why he doesn’t like Prince Brin.”
“What about Lucy?” inquires Susan, and Peter frowns.
“I have no idea. Perhaps I shall talk to her as well.”
Susan sighs. “What about me? What am I to do, if I’m not allowed to talk to Prince Brin, and you’re talking to Edmund and Lucy?”
“Chin up, Su,” he says, smiling at her. “You’re a Queen. I’m sure there are a number of things you can do.”
--
She spends the rest of the day in the company of Lady Anel. The Lady has a request - to witness firsthand Queen’s skill for archery - and Susan is happy to oblige.
As arrows zoom through the air, Lady Anel sits languidly on the grass, fanning herself with a pale, ring covered hand. Her green eyes sparkle, and her wavy brown hair is beautiful against the wind. Her pink cheeks are rosy with excitement, as she speaks of nothing but Edmund. She praises everything about him, from his beautiful hair to his beautiful nose to his beautiful hands. “And, goodness, King Edmund is such a wonderful dancer! One wouldn’t think it to look at him - but he is so poised, so graceful! And his eyes! So intense and serious! I should love to stare into them forever!”
Susan feels rather lightheaded. “And what of King Edmund’s age, Lady? Aren’t you quite a bit older than he?”
Lady Anel chuckles. “Yes, I am, by perhaps four years. But what does age matter when it comes to matters of the heart?”
Susan swallows the lump in her throat. She has no idea how to respond to this statement, so she chooses to ignore it. “Lady Anel,” she says, releasing another arrow. She watches its progress through the air (bullseye), and then lowers her bow. “Now that I know of your thoughts on my royal brother, King Edmund, might you happen to know what your cousin thinks of him?
Lady Anel shrugs dramatically. “I think you should ask him, your majesty. After all, he has taken quite a fancy to you.”
“I would,” lies Susan, “but I do believe he’s with my royal sister, Queen Lucy.”
“Well, it doesn’t much matter. I’ve no idea his feelings about King Edmund. I don’t really see why dear old Brin would feel anything but friendship for him. I would think that Brin would want to look up to him. After all, he’s only a Prince. Edmund is King.” She closes her eyes in delight, smiling.
--
Dinner that night in the great hall is wrought with tension. Peter, unsuccessful in his attempts to talk to Edmund and Lucy, keeps his eyes focused on his food and doesn’t speak. Lucy and Edmund sit next to each other, her hand resting on his as he glares about the room, no doubt waiting for Prince Brin to enter it. Lady Anel throws glances in Edmund’s direction, but he either doesn’t notice or chooses to ignore her. Anyone can see that this leaves her confused and hurt, and Lucy keeps giving her sympathetic smiles. Susan holds her hands in her lap, twisting her fingers together.
Other guests at the table don’t seem to notice the tension, however, so engaged are they in their mindless chatter and delicious food.
Prince Brin eventually arrives to the feast, and Susan indicates the empty seat next to her. “Come sit down,” she says warmly.
Edmund shakes his head from side to side, as if he wants to say something but has resolved not to do so. Susan watches him with bated breath, but he just stares at her, his dark eyes intense, freckles paling against his skin. He remains composed throughout the meal, and afterwards, asks if he might walk her to her chambers. Susan accepts.
“I know that I was out of line this morning,” says Edmund as they walk arm in arm. “You told me that I was not being fair, and perhaps you were right. But I am not the only one who hasn’t been fair.”
“What do you mean?” asks Susan, wrinkling her brow.
Edmund clenches his jaw. “I understand why you refuse to listen to me, why you won’t trust my judgment.”
“Why?”
He looks at her sadly. “Because you still see me as a ten-year-old traitor. I betrayed Narnia, abandoned my family, abandoned you. I know you, Susan, and sometimes your heart can be unforgiving.”
Though his words are spoken quietly, Susan feels the brunt of them; it is as if he has slapped her across the face. “My goodness,” she breathes, “is that what you think? That I haven’t forgiven you?”
Edmund inhales deeply, then releases the breath slowly, nodding.
Susan feels as if she might cry. She can feel the tears behind her eyes, waiting to form, but she shakes her head; she will not shed tears in front of her younger brother. She’s cried in front of Lucy, and Peter, but she will never, ever, cry in front of Edmund. He’s been sensitive and emotional all his life, and Susan made a promise to herself when he was very young to always be strong in front of him.
“I don’t believe this, Ed,” she says, and her voice trembles only slightly. “I forgave you such a long time ago. Don’t you remember, that morning you came back to us? I hugged you, Edmund, and that was a hug of forgiveness. And two years ago, when you found out that Aslan sacrificed for you? Do you remember how we all wept together - the four of us - and spent the night with you? Would I have done that if I was uncaring?”
Edmund argues softly, “You said to me earlier that some things were unforgivable.”
“I spoke in anger, Ed. And, yes, you did abandon us, you did abandon me. But I would never abandon you, Edmund. I would never.”
“Do you promise?” he asks, and his eyes are graced with a sincerity that Susan hasn’t seen from him before.
“Of course I do.”
Then Edmund does something that surprised her: he smiles - a great, happy smile that shows his teeth and lightens his eyes, that changes his entire disposition. And Susan hopes he knows that she meant every word.
--
Susan wakes to the sound of chirping birds and the sun streaming through her window, as usual. But instead of looking forward to the upcoming day, she shrinks away from it, filled with dreads. A week has passed, and though Susan and Edmund have reached some semblance of an understanding, he still looks warily at Prince Brin when he is anywhere near her.
As for the Prince himself, Susan finds herself enjoying his company, though he has still not asked to court her. She can’t help but feel relieved by this - for she has decided that her feelings for him are that of friendship and nothing more. Perhaps his silence means that he shares those feelings; she dearly hopes so.
Lucy, however, spends no time with Prince Brin, or anyone. She hasn’t been herself since the night of the Ball, choosing to stay in her room most of the time, not allowing anyone to enter. Only two nights ago, Peter tried to speak with her, but Lucy had the door locked and ignored him as he pounded against it. This alone was unheard of for Lucy, for she never ignored Peter. Peter had been rather fretful that evening.
Susan has no idea what might be bothering her sister (though she wonders if it has something to do with Prince Brin), and this upsets her just as much as it does Peter. She doesn’t see why Lucy has not come to her yet, to cry and confess to her; she’s quite sure she’d be able to understand whatever it is Lucy’s going through, despite Lucy’s opinion to the contrary.
When she has dressed, Susan hurries to her sister’s chambers. This afternoon, Narnia’s visitors are to depart, all going back to their own countries. As Kings and Queens, she and her siblings have the duty to see them off - a duty that sometimes can last for hours. On these days, it has become a tradition for she and Lucy to dress, then walk united with Peter and Edmund into the throne room.
She knocks on the door timidly, not really expecting Lu to answer the door; she is genuinely taken aback when it opens. Lucy stands before her, still wearing a nightgown. A teddy bear is in her hands; Susan recognizes it as the one she gave Lucy when they first became Queens, to help her remember Finchley. She is strangely touched that Lucy has kept it so close to her all this time.
"Might I come in?" Susan asks, and Lucy leaves the door open and walks back into her bedroom. Susan assumes this is an invitation, so she follows Lucy, shutting the door gently behind her.
An assortment of dresses lay sprawled over Lucy's bed, and when Susan goes to seat herself, she makes sure not to sit on any of them. Lucy sets her teddy bear on the dressing table and turns back to bed, waving a hand at the dresses. "I can't decide what to wear," she sighs.
"Shall I help?" offers Susan.
"I don't need your help, Su," says Lucy, a bit exasperated, and Susan doesn't know what she’s done wrong.
Lucy bites her lip, gaze lingering on each of the dresses before picking up a red one, patterned with brown flowers and white trim. She holds it up against her body, glancing at herself in the mirror, then nods in approval.
Susan picks another dress from the bed - a long, yellow dress with flared sleeves - and holds it up. The red dress Lucy holds is suited for autumn, not summer as this one is. It's also more of an evening dress, rather than a daytime dress. Besides, the yellow dress is so fitting to Lucy's normal, bright personality. It would be impossible for her sister not to smile whilst wearing this dress, and there's nothing more that Susan wishes to see than her sister's smile. "This one is much better for you, Lu," she says, holding it up.
Lucy turns around, looking defensive. "You don't think this one would look nice?"
"Of course it would look nice, dear, I just don't think - "
"You just don't think it would look nice on me," interrupts Lucy.
With that, she throws down the red dress and grabs the yellow. As she changes, Susan can only stare at her in bewilderment, not understanding why her sister looks so upset. Lucy tears out of the room soon after, leaving her behind.
--
Susan sits in her throne regally, inclining her head to every bow and curtsy bestowed upon her. Lucy, on her left, grins and waves to each of their guests as they take their leave. Edmund is quiet and still, in his usual manner. Peter is the one who actually speaks, thanking everyone for visiting Narnia and taking part in the celebrations.
The goodbyes seem to last for hours, but then Prince Brin stands before her. He wears a lighthearted expression, but Susan can see the desperation there as well. The Lady Anel stands beside him, looking over at Edmund with hope in her eyes, though Edmund’s eyes are focused on Prince Brin.
Prince Brin steps forward after Peter has thanked him for visiting, and smiles nervously. “May I speak, your majesty?”
“Go on,” says Peter curiously.
When Prince Brin speaks, he has a determined glint in his eyes. “I was wondering if I might have the hand of Queen Susan.”
Gasps echo around the walls, and Peter raises his eyebrows, clearly not expecting these words. Lucy rubs her head, as if it suddenly aches, and stares at the marble floor. Susan places a hand over her heart, faint with surprise. All is silent for a few seconds, but then Edmund stands from his throne, hand on the hilt of his sword, giving the Prince an icy look. “Absolutely not,” he says, his voice strong and final.
Susan looks down in embarrassment, but Peter addresses Edmund calmly. “King Edmund, I think Queen Susan, can speak for herself.”
Edmund looks abashed, but remains standing. “You are right, High King. Please, dear sister, give the Prince his answer.” His voice shakes, but Prince Brin looks happy, as if all his dreams are about to come true. Susan hates that she is about to crush those dreams.
“I cannot marry you, Prince Brin,” she says. “I’ve known you only a month and you’ve not even asked to court me yet.”
“Well, then, might I have that pleasure?” he asks, and his winning smile is almost enough to convince her, but not enough.
“I am sorry,” she says, “but I cannot. I consider you a good friend, but I’m afraid my heart sees you as nothing else. I do thank you for your offer.”
She keeps her gaze on Prince Brin’s face, waiting for him to show some kind of emotion - sadness, confusion, even anger - but this does not happen. Instead, he gives a very curt nod, as if to dismiss her entirely. “Very well, then.” He turns, facing Lucy, who sits dejectedly on her throne. “Queen Lucy, might you be willing to accept an offer of my courtship?”
The gasps that echo throughout the hall are even louder than before. “Absolutely not!” rings out a voice, and this time it is Peter, though he remains seated. “Queen Lucy is far too young to be courted. Her majesty is only eleven!”
“With all due respect,” snaps Prince Brin, “but your grace allowed Queen Susan to speak for herself. Might the same courtesy be extended toward Narnia’s youngest Queen?”
Susan reels from shock at the sharpness in Prince Brin’s tone. In all their time together, he’s never raised his voice, nor spoken harshly. To an outsider, his words might seem fair, but they are far from it; they are patronizing. As she watches his lips twitch in anger, Susan realizes that he had been false all along. This realization renders her confused, and she can do nothing but stare blankly at him.
Edmund, however, draws his sword. “With all due respect, Prince Brin,” he spits out, “but my royal sisters are not prizes. In Narnia, we do not consider it proper to transfer affection from one lady to another so quickly. I will say that I doubt that your display today is marked by any kind of affection at all.”
“I agree, King Edmund,” says Peter, and his following words sound as though they are being forced out of his throat, “but the Prince Brin is right. Queen Lucy has a mind of her own, and we must allow her to speak.”
All eyes turn to Lucy, whose face is impassive. She looks out at her guests, then at Edmund and Peter, then at Prince Brin. One hand plays with the sleeve of her yellow dress, and then she stands; Susan sits.
Lucy draws herself up to her full height. “No.”
The word is simple, but it is enough to cause nearly everyone present to sag in relief (Mrs. Beaver claps her hands, while Mr. Tumnus wipes his forehead shakily with a hanky), but her siblings are especially thankful.
“Is your reason the same as your sister’s?” asks Prince Brin. “You feel only friendship for me?”
“No,” says Lucy again, suddenly looking very old. But her face is set with determination, and Susan can see the fire start to build again in her eyes. “I may be young, but I am not a little girl. I am a Queen. As a Queen, and a self-respecting woman, I will not be second best. I admit that I harbored a mere girl’s fancy for you, but the display you have shown here today, and the displays you have shown privately, have erased that fancy. I will not be courted by you, and it must be said that I do not feel friendship for you either. The sight of you offends me, and my country.”
She sits down, and lays her hands primly in her lap.
The entire room is stunned into silence by Lucy’s speech, and Susan feels a wave of sadness wash over her. Is this why Lucy couldn’t come to her - had she had been jealous of her relationship with Prince Brin? Susan glances at her, sitting stiffly, and sighs.
Edmund breaks her from her thoughts. “I believe you heard my sister,” he says, looking directly at the Prince. “Take your leave from this country.”
Prince Brin glares hatefully about the room. “You have made a mistake,” he growls. “I would have ruled well over this land, made a wonderful King.”
Peter points to his crown. “In case you haven’t noticed, Narnia already has two Kings.”
“Yes,” spat Prince Brin, “but one is not fit to rule. He is a traitor to this country, and to all of you!”
Edmund squares his shoulders angrily, and Peter jumps up from his throne, but it is Susan who speaks. Her heart pounds furiously against her chest, angry and defensive.
“King Edmund’s betrayal was forgiven long ago and it was just. You stand there, so self-righteous, but your heart is that of a hypocrite. I can only hope that before you become a King in your own land, your heart grows to be more like his - honest and caring. As of this moment, you are unfit to shine his shoes.”
Edmund looks over at her, as if seeing her for the first time, and Susan feels her heart swell with love for him. She gives him a small smile.
Prince Brin opens his mouth to say something else, but Lady Anel steps forward and lays a hand on his shoulder. “Cousin,” she whispers, “I think it is time to take our leave.”
Something changes in Edmund’s eyes, and he races toward the Lady. His hand finds hers. “Lady Anel,” he says, brushing his thumb across her knuckles, “Know that you are always welcome in Narnia.”
Lady Anel smiles sadly at him. “Thank you, King Edmund. But I shan’t be returning. I do not see you as the traitor my cousin does, but I am afraid my alliances cannot be divided. Prince Brin is my family, and I must align myself with him.”
Edmund gives Lady Anel a smile that harbors no ill feelings. “I shall be here when you change your mind,” he says cheekily, kissing her hand.
The smile remains on his face until every last guest at Cair Paravel is gone. Then he walks out of the throne room, his shoulders hunched low.
--
They find Edmund in his room, lying in his bed. He looks incredibly depressed, and Susan doesn’t blame him - his first love leaving combined with a reminder of his betrayal must be breaking him inside.
She stands in the doorway with Peter and Lucy, but Edmund doesn’t turn in their direction, though she is sure he has heard them enter. “Edmund?” she says tentatively. “Ed, dear, are you all right?”
“I’m fine,” he says, his back still toward her. His voice is rather choked up.
Lucy goes to him first, wrapping her arms around his neck. Edmund coughs unnecessarily, trying to be strong. When Susan throws her arms around him, too, Edmund shrugs off the two of them. “I’m fine,” he says, disgruntled.
“Ed, darling, I know this must be hard for you, but I assure you everything will work out for the best. Perhaps you can find another young woman who is, well, young. Closer to you in years. Or,” she starts hopefully, “perhaps you’ll wait to find another woman until you’re Lady Anel’s age.”
Edmund buries his face in his hands and moans. “Susan,” he whines, clearly embarrassed.
“Su,” says Peter in an admonishing voice, “don’t you know? Everyone says it’s better for a chap to pursue an older woman.”
“Peter!” groans Ed.
“Oh, do stop making fun of Edmund,” says Lucy, resting her head on his shoulder. “He’s been through enough.”
Edmund lets out an exasperated sigh. “I’m fine!” “She’s just a girl. I have enough of you in my life already.”
“Hey!” says Lucy, swatting his arm.
“That’s no way to talk about our sisters, Ed,” adds Peter.
“Well, then I’ll just stop talking, then,” smirks Edmund.
“Please don’t,” says Susan. “Let us simply turn the conversation to other matters…like why you and Prince Brin quarreled in the first place. I should really like to know.
Edmund sighs, then sits up in bed; Susan and Lucy do the same. Susan looks at her brother intently. He scratches his head, and looks questioningly at Lucy. Whatever he finds in her gaze allows him to begin, and he directs his words at Susan.
“Our quarrel was similar to what happened this morning. He asked to court you, Su, and I said it was your choice. Then I said I planned on courting Lady Anel. But he said no right away, and I asked why. I thought it was because I am only thirteen, but he said it was because he’d have no traitors courting his cousin. I said if he felt that way, perhaps he shouldn’t court you, Su. He said he wanted to court you because you were beautiful and because Narnia deserved two proper Kings. He said I wasn’t fit to sit on the throne because I was traitor. He said that he wanted to marry you, and that it would be your choice. I assured him that once his true colors were known, your answer would be no. Then, he…” and here, he trails off and looks at Lucy again.
Lucy squeezes his hand. “I don’t mind, Edmund.”
Edmund takes a breath, and turns his gaze to Peter. “He said that if Su refused, Lucy would say yes. He said she was just a silly little girl, and that even though she couldn’t compare to Susan, he would ask her anyway. He said she would say yes because she followed him round everywhere, had taken a fancy to him. ‘She’ll be my new puppy,’ he said. And at that point, I was so sick of him that I punched him.”
“Oh, Lu,” cries Susan, as she practically crawls over Edmund to reach her. Edmund moves out of the way, allowing Susan to squeeze between them. Susan holds Lucy close to her, stroking her hair. “That’s why you wouldn’t come to me.”
“I would have told you, Su,” says Edmund. “But Lu didn’t want me to.”
“Of course I didn’t,” mumbles Lucy, her head resting on Susan’s bosom. “You wouldn’t have understood. You don’t know what it’s like to have a sister that everyone compares you to. You’re so beautiful, Susan.”
“Lucy,” says Peter, leaning over to stroke her hair. “You’re beautiful, too. Don’t listen to what anyone says. And, besides, you’re still maturing!”
Susan nods. “In a few years, everyone will be calling you the beautiful one, dear. I have no doubts in my mind.”
“But more importantly,” says Edmund, “is that looks don’t matter. Lu, you could look like a dog for all I care. You’ll still be Lucy. A man should like you for that, for who you are, not for your outward appearance.”
“Not that any man should like you at all,” points out Peter. “Not in that way. You are young. The only men you should be spend time with are me and Ed.”
Lucy chuckles lightly, her eyes watery with happy tears; then her face changes. “What about Mr. Tumnus?”
Peter shakes his head solemnly. “Oh, no. I think you should stop going to his house for tea. He’s way too old.”
Lucy looks morose for a moment before she realizes Peter is joking; then she laughs loudly and breaks her hold on Susan to hug him. Susan giggles and even Edmund lets a chuckle loose, and then soon all four of them are holding each other and laughing.
--
Susan wakes up the next morning with the light of the sun beaming down on her. She lies on her side, on the far left of Edmund’s bed. Edmund sleeps next to her, and Lucy is snuggled up against him, her head nestled in the crook his shoulder. Peter is on the far right of the bed, next to Lucy, lying on his side as well.
When Susan opens her eyes, she finds Peter awake, too, and he is staring at Edmund and Lucy with a soft expression on his face. From that simple expression, Susan knows exactly what he’s feeling, for the past few days have stirred the same feelings inside of her.
When Edmund asked her why she hadn’t listened to his warning about Prince Brin, she knew, deep down, the reason. It wasn’t because she didn’t trust him, it wasn’t because she thought he was being foolish - it was because she didn’t want to rely on him. She was the big sister; she was the one who gave warnings and protection. Similarly, she only received warnings and protection from one person: Peter. Peter was her big brother, the one who she turned to for advice, the one who she would listen to, the one who would protect her honor.
Never in a thousand years did she think that one day, her little brother, who used to steal biscuits from her plate and savagely yank on her pigtails, would brandish his sword for her sake. And never in a thousand years did she ever imagine that Edmund would fancy someone, that he would pursue a woman and run his thumb along her knuckles and be so gentlemanly about it.
She looks at him now, sleeping with mouth slightly open, and accepts it once and for all - Edmund has grown up. Her eyes water with tears as she looks down at Lucy; her younger sister mumbles something unintelligible in her sleep and then turns over, now facing Peter.
Lucy’s grown up, too, reflects Susan sadly. She can still see Lucy as a baby, gurgling and smiling, can remember when Lucy would tug on Peter’s hair and poke Edmund hard on the nose, when she’d spit up food whilst in her high chair. She can see her as a child, gap-toothed, dimpled, and crawling into her bed during thunderstorms, shaking with fright. This image is a direct contrast to the girl before her now, who dances in the rain and who is the bravest person she knows.
When she was a child, Lucy used to bring all of her problems to Susan - silly problems like not being able to find a shoe before school, or not wanting to eat her peas at dinner, or soap getting in her eyes when she bathed. Now, Lucy will sort out a few of her own problems, without help, and bring to her much more complicated ones - feelings of unworthiness, jealousy, and unrequited love.
They have changed, her dear Edmund and Lucy. And she, too, will have to change. She won’t be able to play mother anymore, won’t be able to coddle and protect them from the world. She won’t be able to demand they go to bed at a certain hour, but accept that they are old enough to make their own decisions. Old enough to pave their own lives.
Oh, how her relationships with them will change. Oh, how much they have changed already!
And she will have to adjust.
She smiles and reaches for Peter. Tapping him lightly on the shoulder, Susan watches as Peter lifts his gaze from Edmund and Lucy. His eyes shining with unshed tears, he takes hold of her wrist. He looks at it strangely, and shoots her a confused look - Susan realizes he’s staring at the wrist that Edmund bruised. She shakes her head lightly, dismissing his silent query, and he touches the bruise gently before letting go of her hand.
A few minutes later, Peter rises from the bed, trying to make as little noise as possible. He walks over to her part of the bed, standing next to her as she beholds their siblings once more. She sighs softly, and he lets out a sigh of his own, then bends down and kisses the side of her head. “I’ll go see about breakfast in bed.”
She nods and he goes to leave the room, then turns around. “Oh, I almost forgot,” he whispers, grinning. “Good morning.”
Yes, thinks Susan, grinning back at him, it is a good morning indeed.
--
He kisses her because he understands.
--
Read the next chapter here! ♥
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A/N: Thanks for everyone who continues to read this! This chapter was so much FUN for me to write, because there were all sorts of things I wanted to address - how Susan would deal with Ed and Lu growing up (especially if romantic parties were involved), Edmund's betrayal, just the Ed/Su relationship in general, a drunk!Peter, Peter and Susan having a talk about "the talk", and the four Pevensies sleeping in the bed. I am amazed I got it all in there.
I would like to guarantee that the other chapters will not be this long, but all I can guarantee is that they will not be this long.
Also, this story is being updated at Fanfiction.net as well, HERE. I'm aiming to get 100 reviews over there (eventually, not just with this chapter, LOL), and my 100th reviewer will get Narnia fic as a present. So, if you'd like to review over there (or here and there!) that'd be fine. :)
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