Aftermath
Title: Aftermath
Fandom: ER
Pairing: Ray/Neela
Rating: PG
Summary: Neela has come to terms with her feelings for her roommate and she sees only one solution. Missing moment from 12:17 - Lost in America. Sequel to Good Spirits.
A/N: I seem only able to write missing moments for this couple. Hee. Btw, wrote this at midnight. Hopefully it's still good. ;)
"I think I should move out."
Neela didn't want to see Ray's reaction, but for some reason, she couldn't look away.
"Why?" he asked, and Neela swallowed hard.
"I think we both know why."
A look of surprise, then comprehension, swept over her roommate's handsome features. In an instant, his whole face seemed to fall, crestfallen and heartbroken, but just as quickly it hardened and became blank. Neela felt her heart sink.
She stared at his back as he turned away from her and went back to the stir fry, not saying a word. Part of her was desperate for him to say something, anything to ease the tension that now permeated through the small kitchen. But the other part of her was thankful for the silence - she needed to collect her own thoughts.
I think we both know why. The words echoed throughout her mind. If she were to be totally honest, she had only realized why today. Why she was always in a foul mood when Ray announced he was dating (which, in his case, meant sleeping with) another girl, why she let him bring home horror movies from the 1970's even though she couldn't stand them, why her heart had fluttered this morning when he had been standing not even inches from her, shirtless...why all she wanted to do these days was be with him.
It was because she had feelings for him. She, smart, uptight, boring Neela Rasgotra (Gallant, her mind corrected) had feelings for Ray Barnett. Ray, who at times could be the most irritating person on the face of the planet. Ray, who understood her better than most people could. Ray, who was always there for her. Ray, who was here in America and not off fighting some stupid war in another country.
Of course, there was always the possibility that she didn't have feelings for Ray. It was a simple crush, nothing more. The only reason she was feeling this way was because she missed her husband so much. When Ray came home with other girls, she became jealous because she was so damn lonely. It was only natural that she cuddle close to him while watching those awful horror movies from the 1970's and for her heart to flutter when they were in close proximity. After all, he was an attractive guy and she had hormones just like any other woman. The fact that she had had the urge to kiss him this morning, right there in the living room, meant nothing.
But of course, Neela knew that wasn't true. If anything, Neela was logical, and she knew it was stupid to lie to herself. These feelings were not a crush, no matter how much she wanted to deny it. And she knew Ray felt the same way. The signs were there. The long looks he gave her for no reason, the overwrought concern when she was in danger, the way his eyes lit up when she walked into a room...
It was up to her to stop it. She was the one who had moved in with him, who had started all of this. She was the one who was married.
Neela knew in her heart that staying with Ray would get in the way of her marriage. She couldn't let that happen. It was Michael she was supposed to love, Michael she was supposed to know better than she knew herself. A part of her did love him, she knew that much was true, but she certainly didn't know him as well as she had thought. And he definitely didn't know her.
But that didn't matter. It didn't matter that she and Michael they barely knew each other, or that their marriage was strained at the moment; what was important were the vows she had made to him.
"Ray?" she said, her voice breaking through the silence.
Ray cleared his throat and held out the pan of stir fry toward her. "All done," he said with a strained smile, rifling through the cupboards to get plates.
It was too much. "I'm actually not hungry," Neela said. Ray nodded, not looking at her. "I think I'm going to go to bed."
"Goodnight," he said in a low voice.
Neela awkwardly left the kitchen, her heart pounding sickeningly in her chest as she headed to her room. She tried not to peer into the living room, tried not to stare at the VHS tape of The Omen. Tried not to hear Ray scraping the stir fry out of the pan and into the trash. Tried not to think of him as she crawled into bed and as she attempted to go to sleep.
She was unsuccessful on all counts, and hoped that this would be easier on her tomorrow and the day after.
But it wouldn't be. None of this would be easy for her or Ray.
And they both knew why.
Interested in my other Missing Moments fics? Check out Night in the NICU & Mistakes. Have a request for a Missing Moment fic? Let me know!
Fandom: ER
Pairing: Ray/Neela
Rating: PG
Summary: Neela has come to terms with her feelings for her roommate and she sees only one solution. Missing moment from 12:17 - Lost in America. Sequel to Good Spirits.
A/N: I seem only able to write missing moments for this couple. Hee. Btw, wrote this at midnight. Hopefully it's still good. ;)
"I think I should move out."
Neela didn't want to see Ray's reaction, but for some reason, she couldn't look away.
"Why?" he asked, and Neela swallowed hard.
"I think we both know why."
A look of surprise, then comprehension, swept over her roommate's handsome features. In an instant, his whole face seemed to fall, crestfallen and heartbroken, but just as quickly it hardened and became blank. Neela felt her heart sink.
She stared at his back as he turned away from her and went back to the stir fry, not saying a word. Part of her was desperate for him to say something, anything to ease the tension that now permeated through the small kitchen. But the other part of her was thankful for the silence - she needed to collect her own thoughts.
I think we both know why. The words echoed throughout her mind. If she were to be totally honest, she had only realized why today. Why she was always in a foul mood when Ray announced he was dating (which, in his case, meant sleeping with) another girl, why she let him bring home horror movies from the 1970's even though she couldn't stand them, why her heart had fluttered this morning when he had been standing not even inches from her, shirtless...why all she wanted to do these days was be with him.
It was because she had feelings for him. She, smart, uptight, boring Neela Rasgotra (Gallant, her mind corrected) had feelings for Ray Barnett. Ray, who at times could be the most irritating person on the face of the planet. Ray, who understood her better than most people could. Ray, who was always there for her. Ray, who was here in America and not off fighting some stupid war in another country.
Of course, there was always the possibility that she didn't have feelings for Ray. It was a simple crush, nothing more. The only reason she was feeling this way was because she missed her husband so much. When Ray came home with other girls, she became jealous because she was so damn lonely. It was only natural that she cuddle close to him while watching those awful horror movies from the 1970's and for her heart to flutter when they were in close proximity. After all, he was an attractive guy and she had hormones just like any other woman. The fact that she had had the urge to kiss him this morning, right there in the living room, meant nothing.
But of course, Neela knew that wasn't true. If anything, Neela was logical, and she knew it was stupid to lie to herself. These feelings were not a crush, no matter how much she wanted to deny it. And she knew Ray felt the same way. The signs were there. The long looks he gave her for no reason, the overwrought concern when she was in danger, the way his eyes lit up when she walked into a room...
It was up to her to stop it. She was the one who had moved in with him, who had started all of this. She was the one who was married.
Neela knew in her heart that staying with Ray would get in the way of her marriage. She couldn't let that happen. It was Michael she was supposed to love, Michael she was supposed to know better than she knew herself. A part of her did love him, she knew that much was true, but she certainly didn't know him as well as she had thought. And he definitely didn't know her.
But that didn't matter. It didn't matter that she and Michael they barely knew each other, or that their marriage was strained at the moment; what was important were the vows she had made to him.
"Ray?" she said, her voice breaking through the silence.
Ray cleared his throat and held out the pan of stir fry toward her. "All done," he said with a strained smile, rifling through the cupboards to get plates.
It was too much. "I'm actually not hungry," Neela said. Ray nodded, not looking at her. "I think I'm going to go to bed."
"Goodnight," he said in a low voice.
Neela awkwardly left the kitchen, her heart pounding sickeningly in her chest as she headed to her room. She tried not to peer into the living room, tried not to stare at the VHS tape of The Omen. Tried not to hear Ray scraping the stir fry out of the pan and into the trash. Tried not to think of him as she crawled into bed and as she attempted to go to sleep.
She was unsuccessful on all counts, and hoped that this would be easier on her tomorrow and the day after.
But it wouldn't be. None of this would be easy for her or Ray.
And they both knew why.
Interested in my other Missing Moments fics? Check out Night in the NICU & Mistakes. Have a request for a Missing Moment fic? Let me know!