(no subject)
i'm moving in a week. i'm taking care of everything by myself. that feels kind of liberating, actually. i've never felt like i can do anything by myself and i'm always begging someone to tag along. alyssa wants me to be more self sufficient, but she hasn't seemed to notice my recent push into independence. i like to look at the small things. maybe taking care of turning on the utilities of my new apartment and getting my current one packed and getting the dog fixed and signing leases and paying deposits and keeping up with money and turning off my utilities here aren't that much of a difference. but i feel like it is.
i'm glad we're moving into a bigger apartment. not just because of the two dogs and cat we are harboring, but because if alyssa bugs me too much, i can actually be in a different room. success.
i'm not sure what i'm feeling right now. i want her here, obviously. most people with fiances would. but i don't know how ready i am to be around her 24/7 again. i don't know if it's some freak out phase or fear, but i'm not looking forward to it quite as much as i should. i miss her and time is slowing down as her due date gets closer and that frustrates me, but i have enjoyed being alone and going wherever i want without need of relaying it to anyone. ugh. what am i doing
i'm glad we're moving into a bigger apartment. not just because of the two dogs and cat we are harboring, but because if alyssa bugs me too much, i can actually be in a different room. success.
i'm not sure what i'm feeling right now. i want her here, obviously. most people with fiances would. but i don't know how ready i am to be around her 24/7 again. i don't know if it's some freak out phase or fear, but i'm not looking forward to it quite as much as i should. i miss her and time is slowing down as her due date gets closer and that frustrates me, but i have enjoyed being alone and going wherever i want without need of relaying it to anyone. ugh. what am i doing