I am this survey's bitch
dating and attraction
on what day do you usually do the deed? No day in particular.
have you ever fooled around with a member of the
same sex? Define "fooled around"... I've never touched another chick's naughty place, if that's what you're getting at.
should you ever give a relationship a second chance?
It depends on why it ended in the first place.
have you ever fooled around with a coworker?
Um...a few. It wasn't pretty. It doesn't get my stamp of approval.
who ended your last relationship? That'd be me, even though I kicked my ass for it for months afterwards.
would you ever have a relationship with someone 10
or more years older than you? Of course! I like 'em old. haha.
how long could you abstain from sex or
masturbation? Sex? It's been a really long time...er....I could abstain for a really long time. Masturbation. A week, tops, and that's really, really pushing it.
what's your opinion of pda? I love my Palm Tungsten! Oh, wait. PDA's? Eh, as long as they're not overboard. I don't like watching tongue wrestling while I'm out, and I'm sure nobody else does either.
what's the first thing you check out the preferred sex's body? I take in the whole package. Face and height are probably the things I notice most though.
what are your boyfriend/girlfriend's crimes? Crimes? First, I don't have a boyfriend, but a lot of the ex's have had some youthful anger management issues.
how did you meet your boyfriend or girlfriend? Gah. I already said I don't HAVE one. Met my ex when he signed me up at the gym.
what first attracts you to the preferred sex? Face...height. said.this.already.
what is your ideal seduction date? A picnic on the beach by moonlight. hahaha. No, that's not it. I don't know. Handcuffs and cheap wine?
have you ever had a workplace romance? Romance? No. Fling? Yes.
what's your favourite thing about your guy/girl? Cripes. Again, I don't have one. My favorite thing was how much he loved me.
behind closed doors
do you tell your friends the down-and-dirty details about you and your guy/girl in the sac? Not the details, no. Heh.
how often do you initiate sex? Often.
how do you care for the hair down there? I'm not hairy by nature (thanks Mom and Dad!), but everything is well-maintained, if there is anything there at all.
how much do you tell your friends about your sex life? They know I have sex. I don't go into a lot of detail.
how much do your friends tell you about their sex life? I know they have sex. Sometimes I know too much about when and how they have sex.
how long do you like sex to last? It depends on the situation. Sometimes 10 minutes, sometimes 3 hours, sometimes somewhere in between.
what kind of guy/girl would you rather have? Say wha? Where are my options? I would rather have a good one than a bad one.
do you like sex with your eyes open or closed? LOL. Open.
how many sexual partners have you had? Let's just say that I can count them all on my fingers and toes. SIKE! I only need one hand. ONE HAND.
how many times a week do you like to have sex? That depends on who I'm having the sex with.
what would you change about your boyfriend or girlfriend's bed behaviour? If we're talking about the ex, I would have made him hold out a little longer and I would have made him a little more adventurous.
have you ever tied up your partner or been tied up during sex? Not a "partner", but I did have a slave once.
how many sexual partners is too many? It depends on the age of the person in question. I dated a good looking, single, 34 year old guy once who'd been with 65+ women, but he'd been at it since he was 14, so that's a good 20 years of women. It doesn't break down to anything ridiculous when you work out the math of women per month.
do you like it when your boyfriend/girlfriend is noisy
in bed? I like the noise. No, no. I love the noise.
have you ever masturbated in front of your partner? Of course.
what do you think about most during sex? I don't think about much, really. I'm too busy feeling things.
how do you feel about dirty talk in the bedroom? When it seems forced, it's cheesy and a mood killer.
how do you feel about sexy lingerie? It's cool, but sometimes it's sort of waste of time, no?
have you ever lied to a guy/girl about the number of sexual partners you've had? Nope, haven't ever needed to. I ain't no hoe!
have you ever had phone sex with your boyfriend or girlfriend? I don't have a frickin' boyfriend. Get it?
how do you and your guy/girl refer to sex in conversation? "Sex" "Fucking" "Making love" "bang bang bang", lol. At least, when I had a guy.
how many sex partners have you had? Seeing as how I haven't had sex with anyone since I started this survey, the number is still the same.
do you use sex toys in the bedroom? I've been known to.
what do you wear to bed? I guess I could be all cute and say pj's or lingerie, but honestly, I don't like wearing any clothes in bed, so I don't.
in the mood
what gets you in the mood? Kisses on the neck. *shivers*
what says romance to you? All of the little things someone does for you just because they know how happy it'd make you. And by little things I mean stuff like picking up a Red Bull on the way home because they're my favorite, and knowing to only pick up the diet kind, or something of that nature.
is sex better with the lights on or off? Always liked 'em on, but now that I'm all fat I'm more inclined to say off.
what's your favourite time to have sex? Whenever, man, whenever.
love and marriage
do you believe in love at first sight? I'm not really sure. It hasn't happened yet, but I wouldn't rule it out.
would you rather marry your soulmate or a billionaire? How about a billionaire soulmate? No? Well then a soulmate would do.
do you believe in one-night stand potential? Not unless there's a lot of scintillating conversation during all the mad fucking.
how long did it take you to fall in love with your most recent boyfriend/girlfriend? About a month. Yeah, it was fast.
how important is it that your partner be the same religion as you? I don't have a religion, so I don't care.
who's the boss? I think that role changes from situation to situation.
which do you think is more important for keeping love alive long-term? Trust, trust, trust, consideration, honesty, loyalty, mutual responsibility for the future of the relationship.
ex-cruciating situations
are you friends with your exes? One, yes.
have you ever had sex with an ex? We had sex a couple days after we broke up...does that count?
you've got it bad for your ex's best friend - do you act on it? It depends on whether he was ok with it or not. And just saying so wouldn't be enough. I would have to see the facial expression and body language to find out if the ok was real or not.
you meet your sister/brother's new guy/girl and realize he/she's your one-night stand from six
months ago - does he/she need to know? Never had a one night stand. For that matter, I've never had a brother or a sister, so this question doesn't really apply, now does it?
cheating hearts
have you ever had sex with someone else while you had a steady boyfriend/girlfriend? NO. Why would anybody do that? It's hurtful, disrespectful, dishonest, and just makes you a general douchebag if you do.
is cheating on your boyfriend/girlfriend ever okay? NO. Even after getting the green light to go out and do it still merits a NO.
does kissing another guy/girl count as cheating on your boyfriend/girlfriend? Fuck yeah.
do you consider cybersex to be cheating? Cybersex is gross, and it crosses a line. It's not cheating in the physical sense, but it's getting some sort of sexual gratification from another person...so it's pretty iffy. I'd be pissed unless I was standing right there as it was happening.
would you be unfaithful if you knew your guy/girl would never find out? Absolutely not.
your boyfriend/girlfriend fesses up to an online affair - do you forgive him? It depends on how far it went. I have a big, big issue with cheating so I'd probably dump him just for that. I have a hair-trigger dumping mechanism, although I've never been cheated on, so I don't know what my deal is.
commitment
when do you have the commitment talk? I don't know, really. I think it just sort of happens when you're together all the time. You may never really formally sit down and talk about it. All of a sudden, you're just all wrapped up in monogamy.
does the word "monogamy" scare you? Nope. I like it.
what would you do
would you let your boyfriend/girlfriend take naked pictures of you? Already done that.
have you ever been to a strip club? Quite a few times.
what could you give up for the next five years? Liver. I could give up liver for the next 5 years because I don't eat it as it is...eew. Wait, was this supposed to be sexual? At this rate, I really may be "giving up" sex for the next 5 years, 'cause I'm surely not having any now!
if your boyfriend wanted you to have a breast
enlargement, would you? Not if *he* wanted me to, but I've been wanting it done for oh...11 years now, so I'd get it done anyway.
how do you feel when men/women on the street whistle or compliment you? It's fine. Sometimes it's flattering. It depends on how it's presented and by whom it's presented. Even if they're gross or pathetic, I won't usually give an eye roll or get ticked off because it takes balls to do outright come on to someone.
what would you do if your boyfriend/girlfriend's art/poems/songs/etc sucked? I'd probably try, unsuccessfully, to keep that opinion to myself. I can be brutally honest sometimes, but I try not to do it in a brutal way. If I knew it was a really, really serious attempt, I might just give a short compliment and leave it at that. Hurting someone's feelings isn't nice.
your boyfriend/girlfriend suggests some role playing and wants to be the pillaging pirate to your saucy
wench - what's your reaction? LOL. Would I be serving beer? Only if I got to serve beer!
do you discuss past conquests with your current cutie? NO. That accomplishes nothing good.
x-rated
have you ever rented an x-rated movie? Yeah, haven't you? I'm partial to free downloaded internet porn though. Kazaa lite rocks.
what do you do if you discover your boyfriend or girlfriend's porn stash? If it was my ex who swore he didn't have any? Pitch a fit because he lied to me right out the gates about it, and then get over it. If it was any other ex, jump in and have fun! I'll share mine if you share yours. Having a porn stash go over well with a significant other is all dependent on honesty.
on what day do you usually do the deed? No day in particular.
have you ever fooled around with a member of the
same sex? Define "fooled around"... I've never touched another chick's naughty place, if that's what you're getting at.
should you ever give a relationship a second chance?
It depends on why it ended in the first place.
have you ever fooled around with a coworker?
Um...a few. It wasn't pretty. It doesn't get my stamp of approval.
who ended your last relationship? That'd be me, even though I kicked my ass for it for months afterwards.
would you ever have a relationship with someone 10
or more years older than you? Of course! I like 'em old. haha.
how long could you abstain from sex or
masturbation? Sex? It's been a really long time...er....I could abstain for a really long time. Masturbation. A week, tops, and that's really, really pushing it.
what's your opinion of pda? I love my Palm Tungsten! Oh, wait. PDA's? Eh, as long as they're not overboard. I don't like watching tongue wrestling while I'm out, and I'm sure nobody else does either.
what's the first thing you check out the preferred sex's body? I take in the whole package. Face and height are probably the things I notice most though.
what are your boyfriend/girlfriend's crimes? Crimes? First, I don't have a boyfriend, but a lot of the ex's have had some youthful anger management issues.
how did you meet your boyfriend or girlfriend? Gah. I already said I don't HAVE one. Met my ex when he signed me up at the gym.
what first attracts you to the preferred sex? Face...height. said.this.already.
what is your ideal seduction date? A picnic on the beach by moonlight. hahaha. No, that's not it. I don't know. Handcuffs and cheap wine?
have you ever had a workplace romance? Romance? No. Fling? Yes.
what's your favourite thing about your guy/girl? Cripes. Again, I don't have one. My favorite thing was how much he loved me.
behind closed doors
do you tell your friends the down-and-dirty details about you and your guy/girl in the sac? Not the details, no. Heh.
how often do you initiate sex? Often.
how do you care for the hair down there? I'm not hairy by nature (thanks Mom and Dad!), but everything is well-maintained, if there is anything there at all.
how much do you tell your friends about your sex life? They know I have sex. I don't go into a lot of detail.
how much do your friends tell you about their sex life? I know they have sex. Sometimes I know too much about when and how they have sex.
how long do you like sex to last? It depends on the situation. Sometimes 10 minutes, sometimes 3 hours, sometimes somewhere in between.
what kind of guy/girl would you rather have? Say wha? Where are my options? I would rather have a good one than a bad one.
do you like sex with your eyes open or closed? LOL. Open.
how many sexual partners have you had? Let's just say that I can count them all on my fingers and toes. SIKE! I only need one hand. ONE HAND.
how many times a week do you like to have sex? That depends on who I'm having the sex with.
what would you change about your boyfriend or girlfriend's bed behaviour? If we're talking about the ex, I would have made him hold out a little longer and I would have made him a little more adventurous.
have you ever tied up your partner or been tied up during sex? Not a "partner", but I did have a slave once.
how many sexual partners is too many? It depends on the age of the person in question. I dated a good looking, single, 34 year old guy once who'd been with 65+ women, but he'd been at it since he was 14, so that's a good 20 years of women. It doesn't break down to anything ridiculous when you work out the math of women per month.
do you like it when your boyfriend/girlfriend is noisy
in bed? I like the noise. No, no. I love the noise.
have you ever masturbated in front of your partner? Of course.
what do you think about most during sex? I don't think about much, really. I'm too busy feeling things.
how do you feel about dirty talk in the bedroom? When it seems forced, it's cheesy and a mood killer.
how do you feel about sexy lingerie? It's cool, but sometimes it's sort of waste of time, no?
have you ever lied to a guy/girl about the number of sexual partners you've had? Nope, haven't ever needed to. I ain't no hoe!
have you ever had phone sex with your boyfriend or girlfriend? I don't have a frickin' boyfriend. Get it?
how do you and your guy/girl refer to sex in conversation? "Sex" "Fucking" "Making love" "bang bang bang", lol. At least, when I had a guy.
how many sex partners have you had? Seeing as how I haven't had sex with anyone since I started this survey, the number is still the same.
do you use sex toys in the bedroom? I've been known to.
what do you wear to bed? I guess I could be all cute and say pj's or lingerie, but honestly, I don't like wearing any clothes in bed, so I don't.
in the mood
what gets you in the mood? Kisses on the neck. *shivers*
what says romance to you? All of the little things someone does for you just because they know how happy it'd make you. And by little things I mean stuff like picking up a Red Bull on the way home because they're my favorite, and knowing to only pick up the diet kind, or something of that nature.
is sex better with the lights on or off? Always liked 'em on, but now that I'm all fat I'm more inclined to say off.
what's your favourite time to have sex? Whenever, man, whenever.
love and marriage
do you believe in love at first sight? I'm not really sure. It hasn't happened yet, but I wouldn't rule it out.
would you rather marry your soulmate or a billionaire? How about a billionaire soulmate? No? Well then a soulmate would do.
do you believe in one-night stand potential? Not unless there's a lot of scintillating conversation during all the mad fucking.
how long did it take you to fall in love with your most recent boyfriend/girlfriend? About a month. Yeah, it was fast.
how important is it that your partner be the same religion as you? I don't have a religion, so I don't care.
who's the boss? I think that role changes from situation to situation.
which do you think is more important for keeping love alive long-term? Trust, trust, trust, consideration, honesty, loyalty, mutual responsibility for the future of the relationship.
ex-cruciating situations
are you friends with your exes? One, yes.
have you ever had sex with an ex? We had sex a couple days after we broke up...does that count?
you've got it bad for your ex's best friend - do you act on it? It depends on whether he was ok with it or not. And just saying so wouldn't be enough. I would have to see the facial expression and body language to find out if the ok was real or not.
you meet your sister/brother's new guy/girl and realize he/she's your one-night stand from six
months ago - does he/she need to know? Never had a one night stand. For that matter, I've never had a brother or a sister, so this question doesn't really apply, now does it?
cheating hearts
have you ever had sex with someone else while you had a steady boyfriend/girlfriend? NO. Why would anybody do that? It's hurtful, disrespectful, dishonest, and just makes you a general douchebag if you do.
is cheating on your boyfriend/girlfriend ever okay? NO. Even after getting the green light to go out and do it still merits a NO.
does kissing another guy/girl count as cheating on your boyfriend/girlfriend? Fuck yeah.
do you consider cybersex to be cheating? Cybersex is gross, and it crosses a line. It's not cheating in the physical sense, but it's getting some sort of sexual gratification from another person...so it's pretty iffy. I'd be pissed unless I was standing right there as it was happening.
would you be unfaithful if you knew your guy/girl would never find out? Absolutely not.
your boyfriend/girlfriend fesses up to an online affair - do you forgive him? It depends on how far it went. I have a big, big issue with cheating so I'd probably dump him just for that. I have a hair-trigger dumping mechanism, although I've never been cheated on, so I don't know what my deal is.
commitment
when do you have the commitment talk? I don't know, really. I think it just sort of happens when you're together all the time. You may never really formally sit down and talk about it. All of a sudden, you're just all wrapped up in monogamy.
does the word "monogamy" scare you? Nope. I like it.
what would you do
would you let your boyfriend/girlfriend take naked pictures of you? Already done that.
have you ever been to a strip club? Quite a few times.
what could you give up for the next five years? Liver. I could give up liver for the next 5 years because I don't eat it as it is...eew. Wait, was this supposed to be sexual? At this rate, I really may be "giving up" sex for the next 5 years, 'cause I'm surely not having any now!
if your boyfriend wanted you to have a breast
enlargement, would you? Not if *he* wanted me to, but I've been wanting it done for oh...11 years now, so I'd get it done anyway.
how do you feel when men/women on the street whistle or compliment you? It's fine. Sometimes it's flattering. It depends on how it's presented and by whom it's presented. Even if they're gross or pathetic, I won't usually give an eye roll or get ticked off because it takes balls to do outright come on to someone.
what would you do if your boyfriend/girlfriend's art/poems/songs/etc sucked? I'd probably try, unsuccessfully, to keep that opinion to myself. I can be brutally honest sometimes, but I try not to do it in a brutal way. If I knew it was a really, really serious attempt, I might just give a short compliment and leave it at that. Hurting someone's feelings isn't nice.
your boyfriend/girlfriend suggests some role playing and wants to be the pillaging pirate to your saucy
wench - what's your reaction? LOL. Would I be serving beer? Only if I got to serve beer!
do you discuss past conquests with your current cutie? NO. That accomplishes nothing good.
x-rated
have you ever rented an x-rated movie? Yeah, haven't you? I'm partial to free downloaded internet porn though. Kazaa lite rocks.
what do you do if you discover your boyfriend or girlfriend's porn stash? If it was my ex who swore he didn't have any? Pitch a fit because he lied to me right out the gates about it, and then get over it. If it was any other ex, jump in and have fun! I'll share mine if you share yours. Having a porn stash go over well with a significant other is all dependent on honesty.