why
why does it have to be me. i dont get it. out of the zillions of people walking this earth. it has to be me. i mean i know i have friends that are there for me...but they arent next to me every second of my day and night. and when theyre gone i need them most. well i dont know whats going on with matt he says he didnt cheat on me and that he doesnt like mandy but then two other people told me different...and i dont know what to think. i'm just lost. i can't trust anyone anymore. but i know one thing is i dont start stuff because i'm affraid of ending it. or dying. like my dog...i dont want to be alive when she dies. shes the only thing that keeps me going. sounds weird but its true. so i was thinking if i die before darcy does then i wont have to face her dying...you know...but like i hate having boyfriends because its gunna end sometime and leave you depressed forever. and it sucks. thats why i'm not going to get married because nothing last forever. but whatever i dont know what to do i am so lost and yeah...i really just need to cry on someones shoulder. ok well i'm going to bed because i cant take all this anymore..later