Shameless Self Promotion!
Growing Dread: Biopunk Visions which contains my story Muffin Everlasting is now available for pre-order from Timid Pirate Publishing at a 20% discount. It's $12.95 to have it mailed to you or $10 if you're in the Seattle area and would like to pick it up at the Neptune Coffee release party on March 17th. Sadly I won't be able to be there myself in person but be assured I'll be there in some ethereal way. I'm shooting for an apparition in someone's Irish coffee...
Muffin Everlasting came into being because of a joke about Charlie the Unicorn's lack of a kidney. Being that I HATE that video with a fiery passion and I was tired-- the joke went part-way over my head and ended up as, 'Unicorns can't urinate cause they have no kidneys'. Which sent my brain into a world where some poor bastard has to... well, I better let Cameron explain:
"I like my hallucinogens as much as the next microbiologist, and I have some pretty whacked ideas in a folder labeled “impractical and in-executable”, but I've never designed a creature without a digestive system."
Now some of you will buy this simply because you do everything I tell you to --even or especially when it leads to injury and mayhem-- but others need more of a reason. Those people should look at this amazing creature. That my friends, is a tardigrade or water bear. It is one of the toughest little bastards on Earth.
I believe I may be the first person ever to write a story about water bears and unicorns.
If that's not enough reason for you to pre-order Growing Dread right now remember there's ten other stories! Here's the back cover copy:
"Let eleven visionary authors show you the dangers and wonders of nature 2.0. Harnessing the power of nature, these authors show us biological futures that could be. If the human brain is the best computer in the world, what happens when someone learns how to hack it? A submarine captain, a government employee, a vat-grown sex toy and a world without death await within...to say nothing of the unicorns and timeless beauties."
Still not enough? Geeze, tough crowd. Here are some other quotes from the book:
(a) “I’m Agent Peterson, on behalf of the Ministry for the Regulation of
the Knowledge of the Human Genome.”
(b) "We are not allowed to lose the hard bones of coral, the musty earthen
mycelium matrices of fungus, the charging hoof, the clashing horns, the
feathers and fur and scales."
(c) "It's one thing to hack your dog to act like a cat. Where do you plan
to find the code to jack up its intelligence?"
(d) "BIOP Octoflauge-M Mountmod Information
WARNING: Not for use in humans or non-ridable pets.
Congratulations on purchasing the BIOP Octoflauge-M mountmod. For superior
camouflage action, please follow these quickstart instructions.
Code source: Octopoda spp., Bradypodion taeniabronchum"
(e) “Fleming may have discovered Penicillin only a hundred years ago, but
folks been treating suppurating wounds with mold since the Middle Ages.
Here, wanna try?”
“A suppurating wound?”
“Nah, silly.” Circe dipped a spoon into a dish of orange-and-pink
mold. “All your daily nutrients in this one little taste. Tastes like
sweet potatoes.”
But wait, there's more! If you order a copy of Growing Dread: Biopunk Visions and take a picture of you holding it, your cat holding it, propped up against your Real Doll or whatever, and send it to minervazimmerman at gmail dot com along with a postal address I will mail you a FREE sticker you can place in your book or wherever else stickers adhere. Act now!
Muffin Everlasting came into being because of a joke about Charlie the Unicorn's lack of a kidney. Being that I HATE that video with a fiery passion and I was tired-- the joke went part-way over my head and ended up as, 'Unicorns can't urinate cause they have no kidneys'. Which sent my brain into a world where some poor bastard has to... well, I better let Cameron explain:
"I like my hallucinogens as much as the next microbiologist, and I have some pretty whacked ideas in a folder labeled “impractical and in-executable”, but I've never designed a creature without a digestive system."
Now some of you will buy this simply because you do everything I tell you to --even or especially when it leads to injury and mayhem-- but others need more of a reason. Those people should look at this amazing creature. That my friends, is a tardigrade or water bear. It is one of the toughest little bastards on Earth.
I believe I may be the first person ever to write a story about water bears and unicorns.
If that's not enough reason for you to pre-order Growing Dread right now remember there's ten other stories! Here's the back cover copy:
"Let eleven visionary authors show you the dangers and wonders of nature 2.0. Harnessing the power of nature, these authors show us biological futures that could be. If the human brain is the best computer in the world, what happens when someone learns how to hack it? A submarine captain, a government employee, a vat-grown sex toy and a world without death await within...to say nothing of the unicorns and timeless beauties."
Still not enough? Geeze, tough crowd. Here are some other quotes from the book:
(a) “I’m Agent Peterson, on behalf of the Ministry for the Regulation of
the Knowledge of the Human Genome.”
(b) "We are not allowed to lose the hard bones of coral, the musty earthen
mycelium matrices of fungus, the charging hoof, the clashing horns, the
feathers and fur and scales."
(c) "It's one thing to hack your dog to act like a cat. Where do you plan
to find the code to jack up its intelligence?"
(d) "BIOP Octoflauge-M Mountmod Information
WARNING: Not for use in humans or non-ridable pets.
Congratulations on purchasing the BIOP Octoflauge-M mountmod. For superior
camouflage action, please follow these quickstart instructions.
Code source: Octopoda spp., Bradypodion taeniabronchum"
(e) “Fleming may have discovered Penicillin only a hundred years ago, but
folks been treating suppurating wounds with mold since the Middle Ages.
Here, wanna try?”
“A suppurating wound?”
“Nah, silly.” Circe dipped a spoon into a dish of orange-and-pink
mold. “All your daily nutrients in this one little taste. Tastes like
sweet potatoes.”
But wait, there's more! If you order a copy of Growing Dread: Biopunk Visions and take a picture of you holding it, your cat holding it, propped up against your Real Doll or whatever, and send it to minervazimmerman at gmail dot com along with a postal address I will mail you a FREE sticker you can place in your book or wherever else stickers adhere. Act now!