Why can't I edit my livejournal home page?

[grumpymartian]

So, I can edit my own journal page to show the widgets I want and all of that... why the hell can't I edit what shows on my LJ home page?

I want the Writer's Block and the Gifts to disappear forever... if I never have to see the disturbing animated bear humping or the dead baby dragon ever again I'd be happy.

Am I just missing an option somewhere?