About Face
It was nice to see that The Prince of Pies took time out of his busy schedule/ football watching/ face stuffing time, to write about the Super Bowl and whatever crappy book he is selling for February. There is also some ungodly lengthy post about calendars (two parts I believe), but I was too busy shoving a titanium drill bit into my ear to get to the end of it.
I am still trying to get over the fact that George has posted nothing, absolutely nothing about COSine. He lives for that crap. Nothing, nada, zippo. How bad could it have been? Did they run out of cocktail weenies? Did the Brotherhood without Banners protest the event, because they heard there were girls there? What’s the deal Georgie?
Well, Pesci came through again. I found out George’s # 1 fan, Face4Radio99, also attended COSine 2009 and posted his (or is it her?) thoughts on his/her ‘Turn up the Radio’ journal. Sorry for the length, but the genius of Face can’t be edited or contained. I’ve broken the journal into two parts, since Face is a little wordy and excitable.
Face4Radio99 writes:
My brother took me to something called a ‘Con’ or something like that last week. That’s a silly name I thought, but he told me the full name was COSine 2009. That is even a sillier name but it kind of rhymes. I like rhymes, and I like nachos. It was so weird, because I was so busy that day cleaning my turtle tank that I didn’t want to go anywhere, but brother convinced me. He told me my good friend George would be there. I couldn’t believe it. George is super cool and I like to write him letters on his ‘not-a-blog’, which is another silly name, since it really is a blog. I write George often, he is so interesting. He likes football and miniatures. I like miniatures too, but not so much football. I tried to play once, but our neighbor Creepy Joe kept tackling me, even when I didn’t have the ball. He asked me if I wanted to come over to his place so he could work on sacking the quarterback, or something like that, and he said he really likes teabags and not wearing pants. I didn’t understand, but I told him that I like to drink tea sometimes and that Big Brother doesn’t like pants either. This he found interesting, but a couple of weeks later a nice policeman gave Creepy Joe a ride in his police car and we haven’t seen him since. I wonder if they let Joe press the siren.
I collect miniatures as well, but not knights. Why does George like knights so much? I have miniatures of all the characters from Little House on the Prairie and Green Acres, two of my favorite TV shows on the Me channel. I like Lisa Douglas the best, she is so glamorous and beautiful, but she sure is a handful for Oliver. I also have a miniature of Twiki from Buck Rogers, as well as a full-sized version of Dr. Theopolis that I sometimes wear around my neck. He doesn’t talk, but I sometimes talk to him.
But I am off track. Sometimes I do that. I just lose focus. Silly me. I was writing about COSine 2009 (still silly) and George. I was so excited; I couldn’t wait to meet George. Little Brother is going to stay home with Mom. He doesn’t like to go on trips, he just likes to break things and set stuff on fire. Actually, Little Brother is no longer allowed to leave our home according to the nice judge we had to talk to last summer. Sometimes Little Brother can be very mean. Once he took two of my Battlestar Galatica space pods and blew them up with firecrackers. He said that’s what happens when Alliance ships enter into Cylon territory, they get destroyed. Of course he is right, that is what happens, but he isn’t a Cylon. But sometimes, he does wear a bucket on his head and runs into things. I wonder if George watches Battlestar. That would be so cool if George and I watched the same stuff, I’ll have to remember to ask him.
Big brother and I left on Friday and came back Sunday. I thought I would get in trouble if I missed my paper route, but Big Brother took care of it. He gave our neighbor Billy some money to cover for me. Billy is a good guy. He is nice to me and he also likes nachos, but he likes jalapenos and I don’t. Too spicy.
On the way to the ‘Con’ (the name still makes me giggle), we stopped at a bookstore and picked up some hardcover copies of some books called ‘A Song of Ice and Fire’. I asked why are we buying these books, and Big Brother told me he wanted to see if my friend George would autograph the books for us. I looked more closely at the books covers and noticed George’s name on the cover. I had not idea George wrote books. I thought he was just a nice Internet friend who likes football and selling stuff. This was all too crazy.
I was now even more excited. The last time I got someone’s autograph was from the Chipmunks at Disney World when I was little. I like the teacups the best, but Big Brother liked Space Mountain. He is so brave, braver than me for sure. I loved It’s a Small World. That song was so fun. But I do remember daddy jumping out of the boat about halfway through the ride screaming. That was weird. Big Brother found him later sitting and talking to himself in the Swiss Family Treehouse. We had a treehouse once called Narnia but little brother set it on fire. That was sad.
But I didn’t want to be sad, we had a long ride ahead of us, so I decided to read George’s books. They were so, so good. He is like the best writer ever, and I was so glad he repeated the story about how Jon found the wolf pups so many times. That was my favorite part. Once Little Brother told me he found a new family of kittens in our backyard, but when I went to look, something must have happened to the kittens, because a family of angry badgers attacked me and I had to get a rabies shots. I still wonder what ever happened to those kittens.
I finished the books, but I had so many questions. Big Brother was able to answer most of them and I finally found out why we call our dog The Hound and Big Brother sometimes calls me Horseface. He is so funny. I didn’t understand what that meanie Jaime Lannister was doing with his sister, but Big Brother told me it was like when we saw the monkeys wrestling at the zoo. I still didn’t understand but pretended I did. I like the zoo, but sometimes Little Brother ruins it. Last time he climbed over the rail at the monkey pit with a whole bunch of bananas and made them chase him. He climbed out and threw the bananas at Big Brother. Big Brother caught them, but then the monkeys started throwing poop at him. Then Little Brother took my walrus mold-o-rama and melted it. We aren’t allowed at the zoo anymore. Daddy was so mad. But I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I’m starting to get hungry. The only thing we had to eat is Big Brother’s homemade beef jerky, pork rinds, and two liters of Mr. Pibb. Big Brother said they are George’s favorite travel foods, but I can’t eat them. It gives me gas. Maybe we can stop for nachos and some Green River soda. Only seventeen more hours to go.
This ends part one of Face4Radio99’s travel journal.