potential
the potential break up is more frightening than the actual break up.
its hard to decide how to feel.
complicated by the insiders just losing it and making extremely strong cases to find a way to talk to him or see him.
the waiting
not knowing
the acid sets up camp in the places around the gag reflex
all i want is a window to your soul.
a moment of clarity in the middle of intensity
this florida boy understands the sweetest calm in the center of tumult
i want a time out.
a non-contextualized "i love you" from the deepest reaches of my soul
because that is where it comes from when i say it to you.
you are the most amazing person i've met on this journey of mine
on the outside that is
my heart shudders at the thought of saying goodbye to a soul like yours.
the tremors extend through my body as it finds a way to tell me of its fear and sadness.
a time out
to reconnect
to see you outside of this conflict
to gain the confidence and passion it will take to work through this but
is it safe to look for that confidence inside of me
without knowing it will be there from you
can we heal this hurt between us
i do not know
will the effort of trying be worth it
is it worth it to you?
how can i know this?
can you do that and stay safe
can i
im scolding myself for making plans
i see his things and think of you
he wants to give you a hug and tell you that we all love you
tell you how deeply sorry we are for what happened last night
he wants you to know that i love you so much
he wants to thank you for being his friend
he has seen the happiness in my heart
when you are here
where do we go from here?
neither of us knows
the waiting eats at me
i feel like im being baked from the inside
mostly
i just want to hold you
feel you near me
let our souls communicate with eachother
to work these foul complications out
no soul is angrier than mine
at the abuse that has caused these ripples
angry that these remnants of the past
are blocking a love that is true
and beautiful.
i will sit
i will wait
please.
a chance.
its hard to decide how to feel.
complicated by the insiders just losing it and making extremely strong cases to find a way to talk to him or see him.
the waiting
not knowing
the acid sets up camp in the places around the gag reflex
all i want is a window to your soul.
a moment of clarity in the middle of intensity
this florida boy understands the sweetest calm in the center of tumult
i want a time out.
a non-contextualized "i love you" from the deepest reaches of my soul
because that is where it comes from when i say it to you.
you are the most amazing person i've met on this journey of mine
on the outside that is
my heart shudders at the thought of saying goodbye to a soul like yours.
the tremors extend through my body as it finds a way to tell me of its fear and sadness.
a time out
to reconnect
to see you outside of this conflict
to gain the confidence and passion it will take to work through this but
is it safe to look for that confidence inside of me
without knowing it will be there from you
can we heal this hurt between us
i do not know
will the effort of trying be worth it
is it worth it to you?
how can i know this?
can you do that and stay safe
can i
im scolding myself for making plans
i see his things and think of you
he wants to give you a hug and tell you that we all love you
tell you how deeply sorry we are for what happened last night
he wants you to know that i love you so much
he wants to thank you for being his friend
he has seen the happiness in my heart
when you are here
where do we go from here?
neither of us knows
the waiting eats at me
i feel like im being baked from the inside
mostly
i just want to hold you
feel you near me
let our souls communicate with eachother
to work these foul complications out
no soul is angrier than mine
at the abuse that has caused these ripples
angry that these remnants of the past
are blocking a love that is true
and beautiful.
i will sit
i will wait
please.
a chance.