Logic v. Crazy
Did you ever have one of those days when your heart just hurts? you can logically combat every single insecurity you are feeling, but there is no changing your hearts mind for the time being. it sucks. I hate how one thing can cause your soul to remember every hurt you've been hiding from the world, and you know if you had just dealt with it then it would've been a lot easier. But at this point you are just one big broken heart because the world has fucked you since the moment you were conceived.
I am aware that i was the unwanted child. The second of two human lives when they only wanted one more. I've known this my whole life. and the people around me haven't exactly let me forget this. growing up in my family, i got used to being ignored and feeling invisible. i thought a lot more, and i contemplated what i was hearing and formed my own opinions because no one was going to listen to what i had to say. for the most part, i've gotten away from being treated like this in the last couple of years. but now, being back here, it hurts even more. since moving away and going to a college where i am not just another student number, i've learned that my thoughts and ideas are very important and worth listening to. i've impressed students and faculty with my ability to think critically and bring new points of view into a discussion. and now im in a situation where no one even wants to have a serious discussion, let alone hear onther points of view. to put it plainly, i feel invisible. unwanted. and left out.
and to top it off, my back tire busted and i have $6.
so, i suppose i will just sit here listening to good music and admiring my fresh knuck toos.
I am aware that i was the unwanted child. The second of two human lives when they only wanted one more. I've known this my whole life. and the people around me haven't exactly let me forget this. growing up in my family, i got used to being ignored and feeling invisible. i thought a lot more, and i contemplated what i was hearing and formed my own opinions because no one was going to listen to what i had to say. for the most part, i've gotten away from being treated like this in the last couple of years. but now, being back here, it hurts even more. since moving away and going to a college where i am not just another student number, i've learned that my thoughts and ideas are very important and worth listening to. i've impressed students and faculty with my ability to think critically and bring new points of view into a discussion. and now im in a situation where no one even wants to have a serious discussion, let alone hear onther points of view. to put it plainly, i feel invisible. unwanted. and left out.
and to top it off, my back tire busted and i have $6.
so, i suppose i will just sit here listening to good music and admiring my fresh knuck toos.