What is feminism, exactly?
I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I've always taken the stance that feminism is ultimately about choice. Women have become so much more liberated, so much freer - have been given so many more options and opportunities...now is the time to take advantage of the choices we didn't have before. But it also needs to be okay to make the choice to do the things we would have been forced to do previously, right? Or is that somehow un-feminist?
I sometimes get the impression that some feminists really think that a feminist action is one that only takes advantage of the newer choices we've been given, not the old stuff we always got to do. Therefore, being a stay-at-home mom, even if it is a conscious choice, becomes un-feminist because it is something we had to do before anyway and we aren't taking advantage of the new opportunities afforded us by women's lib. I don't understand this reasoning at all. But I do understand concern over how said stay-at-home mom's new total and complete reliance on her husband's income could create problems (always assuming she is married to a man) - however, the fact that she has put herself in this position, literally beholden to a man, doesn't disqualify her for being a feminist, I don't think. But I'm honestly confused about it.
I mean, I don't think it should disqualify her, by any means. But I also question how nebulous this can get before there just is no definition for feminism, even a vague one, because it's become increasingly meaningless the more actions we claim are feminist. Why, in the first place, does every action a woman makes have to be either feminist or not feminist? The stay-at-home mom is probably staying at home because she wants to, and her and her partner can afford it - to me this is a decision about parenting, not feminism. But it seems like if you're a woman, you're either a feminist or you're not, your decisions are feminist or they're not. I think it'd be great if we applied this same standard to men - judging everything they do as either feminist or not - but it's not gonna happen, because they're men. We don't ask these questions of them and we don't assume that all their actions either are or are not something-or-other. You could maybe make the comparison to "manliness" measures, but I don't feel that all men's actions are subject to this the way that all women's seem to be subject to the "is it feminist?" question. Am I wrong? Maybe I'm wrong, maybe that is the kind of comparable other side of the coin, so to speak.
ANYWAY, I've also spent a lot of time on this "what is feminist?" question while thinking and writing about female agency in sex work. Is it a myth? No. It exists. Are there are lot of women sex workers who aren't there because they want to be? Of course. But are there some who are? Yes, of course. And those women are the ones I'm really interested in. I've always said that if I had the (marketable) body for it, I would not hesitate to become a stripper - it's easy money selling a commodity that's mine all mine. I would not call stripping a feminist action in and of itself, but I do think there's such a thing as a feminist stripper, and I equally would not call stripping a degrading, oppressive action in and of itself either. Even if stripping could be said to be playing by the rules the patriarchy has set up for us - isn't the fact that we're making tons of money off of these dupes, that we're supporting ourselves and possibly others, and that, heaven forbid, we might even be having fun or enjoying work - don't these facts kind of make it a feminist action in a way? Isn't it all kind of based on intention and personal experience? Are there any actions or roles, from being a stripper to being a CEO to being a stay-at-home mom, that can be said to be feminist across the board? Isn't each one only a feminist action (or not a feminist action) based on the person performing it, the reasons they're performing it, and what they're getting (or losing) from performing it?
I don't know. But, as I said, I've been thinking about this a lot. I've just come across a bunch of articles lately about feminist weddings, and traditional versus offbeat, and then all those stories about women selling their virginity by auction - and I just have had this question for so long. Any insights, ideas, your take? Leave it in the comments.
I sometimes get the impression that some feminists really think that a feminist action is one that only takes advantage of the newer choices we've been given, not the old stuff we always got to do. Therefore, being a stay-at-home mom, even if it is a conscious choice, becomes un-feminist because it is something we had to do before anyway and we aren't taking advantage of the new opportunities afforded us by women's lib. I don't understand this reasoning at all. But I do understand concern over how said stay-at-home mom's new total and complete reliance on her husband's income could create problems (always assuming she is married to a man) - however, the fact that she has put herself in this position, literally beholden to a man, doesn't disqualify her for being a feminist, I don't think. But I'm honestly confused about it.
I mean, I don't think it should disqualify her, by any means. But I also question how nebulous this can get before there just is no definition for feminism, even a vague one, because it's become increasingly meaningless the more actions we claim are feminist. Why, in the first place, does every action a woman makes have to be either feminist or not feminist? The stay-at-home mom is probably staying at home because she wants to, and her and her partner can afford it - to me this is a decision about parenting, not feminism. But it seems like if you're a woman, you're either a feminist or you're not, your decisions are feminist or they're not. I think it'd be great if we applied this same standard to men - judging everything they do as either feminist or not - but it's not gonna happen, because they're men. We don't ask these questions of them and we don't assume that all their actions either are or are not something-or-other. You could maybe make the comparison to "manliness" measures, but I don't feel that all men's actions are subject to this the way that all women's seem to be subject to the "is it feminist?" question. Am I wrong? Maybe I'm wrong, maybe that is the kind of comparable other side of the coin, so to speak.
ANYWAY, I've also spent a lot of time on this "what is feminist?" question while thinking and writing about female agency in sex work. Is it a myth? No. It exists. Are there are lot of women sex workers who aren't there because they want to be? Of course. But are there some who are? Yes, of course. And those women are the ones I'm really interested in. I've always said that if I had the (marketable) body for it, I would not hesitate to become a stripper - it's easy money selling a commodity that's mine all mine. I would not call stripping a feminist action in and of itself, but I do think there's such a thing as a feminist stripper, and I equally would not call stripping a degrading, oppressive action in and of itself either. Even if stripping could be said to be playing by the rules the patriarchy has set up for us - isn't the fact that we're making tons of money off of these dupes, that we're supporting ourselves and possibly others, and that, heaven forbid, we might even be having fun or enjoying work - don't these facts kind of make it a feminist action in a way? Isn't it all kind of based on intention and personal experience? Are there any actions or roles, from being a stripper to being a CEO to being a stay-at-home mom, that can be said to be feminist across the board? Isn't each one only a feminist action (or not a feminist action) based on the person performing it, the reasons they're performing it, and what they're getting (or losing) from performing it?
I don't know. But, as I said, I've been thinking about this a lot. I've just come across a bunch of articles lately about feminist weddings, and traditional versus offbeat, and then all those stories about women selling their virginity by auction - and I just have had this question for so long. Any insights, ideas, your take? Leave it in the comments.