THE RUPTURE?!
I just spent the last few weeks during the White Haired Evil's absence with jugs of pumpkin juice, a pack of WWVD? bracelets, my Buddy Death Eater Pamphlet and my belongings in my trunk excitedly waiting for the long prophesied, The Rupture, to arrive!
DURING THE RUPTURE, OUR SAVIOR THAT WILL LEAD US TO THE PATH OF DARK, LORD VOLDEMORT, WILL ARRIVE FROM A QUIDDITCH BROOM ONTO HOGWARTS TO SAVE ALL HIS PUREBLOODED CHILDREN AS WELL AS THOSE MOST LOYAL TO HIS CAUSE AND AVADA KEDAVRA ALL THE MUGGLES, MUDBLOODS, BLOOD TRAITORS, AND WEASLEY SPAWNS AWAY.
According to my Buddy Death Eater Pamphlet: The Sequel!, "In the event of Headmaster Dumbledore's sudden and abrupt departure/absence/death from Hogwarts, a surprise attack by the Death Eaters is imminent. You, as a Junior Death Eater, should be prepared for a violent breach in Hogwarts security by taking the following steps:
(1) Locate Harry Potter. Be alert! As The Boy Who Lived now suffers from adolescent afflictions such as breast development and CAPSLOCK, he may still be aware of your presence despite the fact that you may be wearing an invisibility cloak. This is done not through use of magic, but through means of echo location.
(2) Remember. The Buddy System is always effective in avoiding a curse crossfire! Be sure to hold hands and look both ways before crossing a busy hall.
(4) In the event that you do not see a Junior Death Eater around you, grab a Mudblood instead and employ him/her as your shield. You will notice that the flesh of a Mudblood has sponge-like properties that render them particularly effective in the absorption of hexes, and curses and spilt milk.
Helpful Hint!: In situations like these, you may discover that a Hufflepuff can prove equally serviceable.
(5) Pass out cups of butterbeer and pumpkin juice to any Death Eater that may be exhibiting symptoms of Thirst. As Junior Death Eaters you perhaps already know, employing the Crucio on a Mudblood not only provides a Death Eater with sadistic pleasure and arousal, but also wears down his stamina. It is not practical to stop intermittently between bouts of Crucio and sadism to take a breather when all this could be remedied simply with a cup of pumpkin juice.
Don't forget!: Refreshments are vital in our fight against the Light!"
The Dark Lord must have spent the last couple of weeks doing memes!!
DURING THE RUPTURE, OUR SAVIOR THAT WILL LEAD US TO THE PATH OF DARK, LORD VOLDEMORT, WILL ARRIVE FROM A QUIDDITCH BROOM ONTO HOGWARTS TO SAVE ALL HIS PUREBLOODED CHILDREN AS WELL AS THOSE MOST LOYAL TO HIS CAUSE AND AVADA KEDAVRA ALL THE MUGGLES, MUDBLOODS, BLOOD TRAITORS, AND WEASLEY SPAWNS AWAY.
According to my Buddy Death Eater Pamphlet: The Sequel!, "In the event of Headmaster Dumbledore's sudden and abrupt departure/absence/death from Hogwarts, a surprise attack by the Death Eaters is imminent. You, as a Junior Death Eater, should be prepared for a violent breach in Hogwarts security by taking the following steps:
(1) Locate Harry Potter. Be alert! As The Boy Who Lived now suffers from adolescent afflictions such as breast development and CAPSLOCK, he may still be aware of your presence despite the fact that you may be wearing an invisibility cloak. This is done not through use of magic, but through means of echo location.
(2) Remember. The Buddy System is always effective in avoiding a curse crossfire! Be sure to hold hands and look both ways before crossing a busy hall.
(4) In the event that you do not see a Junior Death Eater around you, grab a Mudblood instead and employ him/her as your shield. You will notice that the flesh of a Mudblood has sponge-like properties that render them particularly effective in the absorption of hexes, and curses and spilt milk.
Helpful Hint!: In situations like these, you may discover that a Hufflepuff can prove equally serviceable.
(5) Pass out cups of butterbeer and pumpkin juice to any Death Eater that may be exhibiting symptoms of Thirst. As Junior Death Eaters you perhaps already know, employing the Crucio on a Mudblood not only provides a Death Eater with sadistic pleasure and arousal, but also wears down his stamina. It is not practical to stop intermittently between bouts of Crucio and sadism to take a breather when all this could be remedied simply with a cup of pumpkin juice.
Don't forget!: Refreshments are vital in our fight against the Light!"
The Dark Lord must have spent the last couple of weeks doing memes!!