Don't Be Afraid of the Dark; but steer clear of this movie
Let me begin by stating how much I love Guillermo del Toro. He has directed or produced some really good movies: Pan's Labyrinth, obviously, but also The Devil's Backbone and The Orphanage. If you enjoy atmospheric horror with a heart (and can live with subtitles), I can't recommend either of these highly enough. (I haven't forgotten Hellboy, but don't consider that to be in the horror genre).
But I guess every great moviemaker is bound to make a dud now and then; Terry Gilliam had Tideland, Martin Scorcese had Gangs of New York, M. Night Shamalamadingdong had every single movie after Sixth Sense. Well, I guess Don't be Afraid of the Dark is Guillermo's dud.
One theme that seems to unite Guillermo's films is they begin with the protagonist arriving to a new environment, and Afraid continues that proud tradition: Little Sally has been shunted off to live with her father Guy Pearce (who I adore, but he isn't given a lot to work with here) and his new young girlfriend Katie Holmes (who I would probably like more if she didn't display such poor taste in marrying Tom Cruise).
Let me say from the beginning how confused I was by what time period this was supposed to be -- Sally's constant companion is an old school Polaroid camera,so I thought late 70's/early 80's, and dad's hipster shag haircut supported this. But when she arrives at the airport, he whips out an iPhone and I was all like "whut." So I guess it's modern times.
In between getting her ass kissed by Katie, who is desperate to have the little girl like her, Sally explores the sprawling mansion her father is in the process of trying to flip (which occupies so much of his time we barely see him).
She wanders into a garden that looks so much like the one in Pan's Labyrinth it wouldn't have at all surprised me if the faun popped out. The groundskeeper tries to shoo her away, but not before she notices windows into a basement no one had known about.
They dig out the entrance, and this is where the atmospheric horror comes in. You can't ask for more than a dusty ancient cellar with a sinister sealed up fireplace, where in the first scene 100 years previously we saw the original owner assault his maid to take her teeth as an offering to unseen creatures in the dark in exchange for his son.
Surprisingly, Sally can't leave it alone and sneaks back with tools to remove the steel plate (I'm being sarcastic -- she's left alone in a strange place with nothing else to do. Of COURSE she's going to mess with it). After an interruption or two of her father pretending to care what she's doing, she succeeds. And unwittingly frees the fairies that live below.
Except, we soon learn, these aren't the wispy benign beings we imagine, but savage little scuttling things, like cockroaches with huge Gollum eyes and vicious claws that hate the light, so we know they are evil (well, that and the fact they eat human teeth).
"Soon" is a bit of an exaggeration, it turns out. We spend a lot of time waiting to see them, while they whisper Sally's name and try to convince her they're her friends. They finally show themselves in the scene from the trailer when she tunnels under her bed covers and eventually comes face to face with one, kind of terrifyingly.
Now she has to convince the grown-ups. The groundskeeper already knows the history of the house, so naturally he's attacked first and goes to the hospital, only able to pass along the cryptic message to get Sally out (the attack is called an accident, even though he's covered in gashes and even has a knife embedded between his shoulder blades. Perhaps "groundskeeper" isn't the best career for someone that clumsy with sharp implements). Dad is still thoroughly wrapped up in his remodel. Katie believes her, but doesn't do much beyond historical research. Meanwhile there are several near-miss attacks on Sally, with precisely the kind of "gotcha!" scares that annoy the hell out of kavieshana.
We get to the big night of her father's open house. Sally arms herself with her Polaroid camera, determined to get proof (whoever wrote the IMDb synopsis describes it as "very old camera, the type that flashes very bright and you have to shake the picture when it comes out." Who's writing this, a 10-year-old?)
She thinks she catches one, but of course the picture is taking forever to develop. She hands it to her father, and for one second I thought it was a tiny homage to Memento, also starring Guy Pearce where Polaroid pictures play a crucial role (also a much, much better movie that I can't recommend highly enough).
He sees nothing, of course. Then the beasties are under the dinner table. Eventually they lure her to the study, and this is where the biggest, hugest flaw in the whole movie is. I'll admit, until this point I didn't think the movie was half bad. Wait for it.
In the study all hell breaks loose. She's swarmed with fairies, and she's only barely keeping them at bay with her camera flashbulbs. After the tenth of which I was like, "hang on, how many flashes are they good for? There are only like five on the strip." Must be one of those Cloverfield cameras.
Whatevs. She puts up a very good fight, even managing to crush one in the sliding bookcase. At that point her father and the guests FINALLY respond to her desperate screams that she's been making the entire time (parenting FAIL) and I'm like, "hooray! Show dad the fairy corpse!" Nope. She says only "I took some pictures" (none of which are looked at) and that's the end of it.
Ludicrous. And they could have easily worked around it, a quick shot revealing they disintegrate when killed or something. Maybe that's on the Criterion blu-ray.
Yet I watched it to the end. I don't remember what else happened until the climax, but not much. In the climax, Sally is attacked while Guy and Katie are gone (not sure where the maid is). The fairies have her trussed up with rope and are slowly dragging her to the basement. Very slowly indeed, because dad and Katie come home in time to try to save her.
Katie tries pulling her the opposite way while Guy heads to the tool shed for a weapon (?). By the time he gets back, Sally is almost in the fireplace. Katie cuts the rope, but she's standing against the fireplace and gets sucked in backwards (you can see her legs snap in the wrong direction, awesome) remarkably quickly for creatures that just took what felt like an hour dragging a little girl across the floor (as kavieshana also pointed out). Also as an Amazon reviewer pointed out, "when being attacked by beings that are only a few inches tall, the most expedient way to escape is to STAND UP."
That's the end. Katie is dead, and dad and Sally are much closer for it. I'm sure there was a "twist" ending (most likely the child of the new owners kneeling at the fireplace, contemplating opening it), but don't quote me on it.
Creepy enough that I might have bought the DVD, but for that one mongo huge enormous logistical flaw that was enough to ruin everything. Plus too much faffing around with fake scares, which is almost as annoying as getting to the scares too quickly. This screenwriter would never work again, if I had my way.
But I guess every great moviemaker is bound to make a dud now and then; Terry Gilliam had Tideland, Martin Scorcese had Gangs of New York, M. Night Shamalamadingdong had every single movie after Sixth Sense. Well, I guess Don't be Afraid of the Dark is Guillermo's dud.
One theme that seems to unite Guillermo's films is they begin with the protagonist arriving to a new environment, and Afraid continues that proud tradition: Little Sally has been shunted off to live with her father Guy Pearce (who I adore, but he isn't given a lot to work with here) and his new young girlfriend Katie Holmes (who I would probably like more if she didn't display such poor taste in marrying Tom Cruise).
Let me say from the beginning how confused I was by what time period this was supposed to be -- Sally's constant companion is an old school Polaroid camera,so I thought late 70's/early 80's, and dad's hipster shag haircut supported this. But when she arrives at the airport, he whips out an iPhone and I was all like "whut." So I guess it's modern times.
In between getting her ass kissed by Katie, who is desperate to have the little girl like her, Sally explores the sprawling mansion her father is in the process of trying to flip (which occupies so much of his time we barely see him).
She wanders into a garden that looks so much like the one in Pan's Labyrinth it wouldn't have at all surprised me if the faun popped out. The groundskeeper tries to shoo her away, but not before she notices windows into a basement no one had known about.
They dig out the entrance, and this is where the atmospheric horror comes in. You can't ask for more than a dusty ancient cellar with a sinister sealed up fireplace, where in the first scene 100 years previously we saw the original owner assault his maid to take her teeth as an offering to unseen creatures in the dark in exchange for his son.
Surprisingly, Sally can't leave it alone and sneaks back with tools to remove the steel plate (I'm being sarcastic -- she's left alone in a strange place with nothing else to do. Of COURSE she's going to mess with it). After an interruption or two of her father pretending to care what she's doing, she succeeds. And unwittingly frees the fairies that live below.
Except, we soon learn, these aren't the wispy benign beings we imagine, but savage little scuttling things, like cockroaches with huge Gollum eyes and vicious claws that hate the light, so we know they are evil (well, that and the fact they eat human teeth).
"Soon" is a bit of an exaggeration, it turns out. We spend a lot of time waiting to see them, while they whisper Sally's name and try to convince her they're her friends. They finally show themselves in the scene from the trailer when she tunnels under her bed covers and eventually comes face to face with one, kind of terrifyingly.
Now she has to convince the grown-ups. The groundskeeper already knows the history of the house, so naturally he's attacked first and goes to the hospital, only able to pass along the cryptic message to get Sally out (the attack is called an accident, even though he's covered in gashes and even has a knife embedded between his shoulder blades. Perhaps "groundskeeper" isn't the best career for someone that clumsy with sharp implements). Dad is still thoroughly wrapped up in his remodel. Katie believes her, but doesn't do much beyond historical research. Meanwhile there are several near-miss attacks on Sally, with precisely the kind of "gotcha!" scares that annoy the hell out of kavieshana.
We get to the big night of her father's open house. Sally arms herself with her Polaroid camera, determined to get proof (whoever wrote the IMDb synopsis describes it as "very old camera, the type that flashes very bright and you have to shake the picture when it comes out." Who's writing this, a 10-year-old?)
She thinks she catches one, but of course the picture is taking forever to develop. She hands it to her father, and for one second I thought it was a tiny homage to Memento, also starring Guy Pearce where Polaroid pictures play a crucial role (also a much, much better movie that I can't recommend highly enough).
He sees nothing, of course. Then the beasties are under the dinner table. Eventually they lure her to the study, and this is where the biggest, hugest flaw in the whole movie is. I'll admit, until this point I didn't think the movie was half bad. Wait for it.
In the study all hell breaks loose. She's swarmed with fairies, and she's only barely keeping them at bay with her camera flashbulbs. After the tenth of which I was like, "hang on, how many flashes are they good for? There are only like five on the strip." Must be one of those Cloverfield cameras.
Whatevs. She puts up a very good fight, even managing to crush one in the sliding bookcase. At that point her father and the guests FINALLY respond to her desperate screams that she's been making the entire time (parenting FAIL) and I'm like, "hooray! Show dad the fairy corpse!" Nope. She says only "I took some pictures" (none of which are looked at) and that's the end of it.
Ludicrous. And they could have easily worked around it, a quick shot revealing they disintegrate when killed or something. Maybe that's on the Criterion blu-ray.
Yet I watched it to the end. I don't remember what else happened until the climax, but not much. In the climax, Sally is attacked while Guy and Katie are gone (not sure where the maid is). The fairies have her trussed up with rope and are slowly dragging her to the basement. Very slowly indeed, because dad and Katie come home in time to try to save her.
Katie tries pulling her the opposite way while Guy heads to the tool shed for a weapon (?). By the time he gets back, Sally is almost in the fireplace. Katie cuts the rope, but she's standing against the fireplace and gets sucked in backwards (you can see her legs snap in the wrong direction, awesome) remarkably quickly for creatures that just took what felt like an hour dragging a little girl across the floor (as kavieshana also pointed out). Also as an Amazon reviewer pointed out, "when being attacked by beings that are only a few inches tall, the most expedient way to escape is to STAND UP."
That's the end. Katie is dead, and dad and Sally are much closer for it. I'm sure there was a "twist" ending (most likely the child of the new owners kneeling at the fireplace, contemplating opening it), but don't quote me on it.
Creepy enough that I might have bought the DVD, but for that one mongo huge enormous logistical flaw that was enough to ruin everything. Plus too much faffing around with fake scares, which is almost as annoying as getting to the scares too quickly. This screenwriter would never work again, if I had my way.