Return of the Crankwhore
My day started out with a bang in the form of an email from the Alcoholic, letting me know Tracey "Crankwhore" Whitcomb mentioned to the meth lab cleanup crew (still struggling to get the unit to pass inspection 10 months later) that she intends to move back in.
I'll repeat that: The fucking Crankwhore is moving back in.
After getting over my disbelief and dismay, I'm now safely at the anger stage. I honestly thought I'd never have to lay eyes on her wasted, pockmarked, hollow-eyed, drug-ravaged face again. The rest of the day was spent furiously emailing back and forth with the Alcoholic, trying to rationalize why she can't come back and what we're going to do if/when she does. "Do you think she's still using, or has she cleaned up her act?" the Alcoholic wrote. I could almost see her wringing her hands between keystrokes. How the hell should I know? Do I look like her fucking BFF??? Despite my best efforts, I simply can't get the family to include me on their holiday newsletter mailing list.
Unfortunately according to our Board Administration as long as she is (or her parents, more accurately) paying dues and keeping up with the mortgage, there's not a whole lot they can do to keep her out. They can regulate us to within an inch of our lives about what we can and can't put on our balconies, but they can't say a word about a known drug dealer returning to our community.
But god spare us from having the Alcoholic as our biggest ally. She still has a frighteningly limited grasp on the way we do things out here in the real world. I (half) jokingly asked how I was supposed to keep from spitting in Tracey's face (or much, much worse) if I ever meet her on the stairs again. Her response was, "Oh, I don't think you should do that. Maybe we can slash her tires, etc. So many possibilities come to mind." Excuse me, yes my hatred of her is of a toxic intensity, but I'm not about to become a common thug just to get back at her. Besides, it's easy for her to consider indulging in vandalism. Who would Tracey suspect first, someone living in the next building or us living right next door? Right. Have another drink, you useless lush.
Which also leaves me with the question of why she's so damn concerned about it. I really fail to see what impact, if any, Tracey has had on her life (apart from having to look at those godawful blinds, that is. What a terrible, terrible burden). She's such a busybody. She said she sent the email to make sure I knew what was going on. I appreciated it, but have to wonder how much of it was her wanting to be the first one to blab the news. I'll bet her only regret is not telling me in person so she could see all the color drain out of my face first-hand.
However, the fear of Tracey setting up shop again is very pervasive and hard to ignore, especially after Tery showed me the meth special explaining how easily labs can blow up. Yes, one would hope that she wouldn't be THAT stupid to try it again. One would hope she would be watched like a hawk and realize full well she was being watched like a hawk. The only reason she isn't being sold for cigarettes already is because she hasn't had a trial yet, so one would hope she would realize it was in her best interest to stay clean and prove she can be a good little girl. One would hope. But I've never been a hugely optimistic person.
So I started poking around on eBay to see what there was to see. Specifically, surveillance cameras. Cameras small enough to be used in a door peephole. They exist of course, and are quite reasonably priced. My only concern is whether or not they're admissible evidence in the state of Colorado. We could film her shooting up right on the landing, but if the camera's illegal I'm pretty sure that means she can walk on a technicality (listen to me, talkin' all "Law and Order" here. Never seen one episode). This didn't sway the Alcoholic though. "I think that's a great idea," she wrote. " Why are you so concerned about legalities? Tracey sure isn't." *sigh* Unfortunately the only lawyer we have in our midst is the infamous Dave, he of the crazy conspiracy theories and plotting of HOA Board coups. Even the Alcoholic was sober enough to advise against involving him. "It will just add fuel to one of his many fires."
So what the hell to do? The Board Administrator's only advice is to "stay vigilant." Well, shit. We were here the whole time and she managed to sneak in an entire lab quite handily under our noses once already. We can't stand at the damn peephole 24 hours a day. And I'd rather not think at all about the prospect of those fucking dogs coming back. Why, god, why me?
I'll repeat that: The fucking Crankwhore is moving back in.
After getting over my disbelief and dismay, I'm now safely at the anger stage. I honestly thought I'd never have to lay eyes on her wasted, pockmarked, hollow-eyed, drug-ravaged face again. The rest of the day was spent furiously emailing back and forth with the Alcoholic, trying to rationalize why she can't come back and what we're going to do if/when she does. "Do you think she's still using, or has she cleaned up her act?" the Alcoholic wrote. I could almost see her wringing her hands between keystrokes. How the hell should I know? Do I look like her fucking BFF??? Despite my best efforts, I simply can't get the family to include me on their holiday newsletter mailing list.
Unfortunately according to our Board Administration as long as she is (or her parents, more accurately) paying dues and keeping up with the mortgage, there's not a whole lot they can do to keep her out. They can regulate us to within an inch of our lives about what we can and can't put on our balconies, but they can't say a word about a known drug dealer returning to our community.
But god spare us from having the Alcoholic as our biggest ally. She still has a frighteningly limited grasp on the way we do things out here in the real world. I (half) jokingly asked how I was supposed to keep from spitting in Tracey's face (or much, much worse) if I ever meet her on the stairs again. Her response was, "Oh, I don't think you should do that. Maybe we can slash her tires, etc. So many possibilities come to mind." Excuse me, yes my hatred of her is of a toxic intensity, but I'm not about to become a common thug just to get back at her. Besides, it's easy for her to consider indulging in vandalism. Who would Tracey suspect first, someone living in the next building or us living right next door? Right. Have another drink, you useless lush.
Which also leaves me with the question of why she's so damn concerned about it. I really fail to see what impact, if any, Tracey has had on her life (apart from having to look at those godawful blinds, that is. What a terrible, terrible burden). She's such a busybody. She said she sent the email to make sure I knew what was going on. I appreciated it, but have to wonder how much of it was her wanting to be the first one to blab the news. I'll bet her only regret is not telling me in person so she could see all the color drain out of my face first-hand.
However, the fear of Tracey setting up shop again is very pervasive and hard to ignore, especially after Tery showed me the meth special explaining how easily labs can blow up. Yes, one would hope that she wouldn't be THAT stupid to try it again. One would hope she would be watched like a hawk and realize full well she was being watched like a hawk. The only reason she isn't being sold for cigarettes already is because she hasn't had a trial yet, so one would hope she would realize it was in her best interest to stay clean and prove she can be a good little girl. One would hope. But I've never been a hugely optimistic person.
So I started poking around on eBay to see what there was to see. Specifically, surveillance cameras. Cameras small enough to be used in a door peephole. They exist of course, and are quite reasonably priced. My only concern is whether or not they're admissible evidence in the state of Colorado. We could film her shooting up right on the landing, but if the camera's illegal I'm pretty sure that means she can walk on a technicality (listen to me, talkin' all "Law and Order" here. Never seen one episode). This didn't sway the Alcoholic though. "I think that's a great idea," she wrote. " Why are you so concerned about legalities? Tracey sure isn't." *sigh* Unfortunately the only lawyer we have in our midst is the infamous Dave, he of the crazy conspiracy theories and plotting of HOA Board coups. Even the Alcoholic was sober enough to advise against involving him. "It will just add fuel to one of his many fires."
So what the hell to do? The Board Administrator's only advice is to "stay vigilant." Well, shit. We were here the whole time and she managed to sneak in an entire lab quite handily under our noses once already. We can't stand at the damn peephole 24 hours a day. And I'd rather not think at all about the prospect of those fucking dogs coming back. Why, god, why me?