to go or not to go...
today hasn't been a very good day...:-\
i practically snubbed kristina, my other roommate! man, oh man. i need to learn to stick to my commitments. i signed up to give candy to the underprivileged halloweeners w/out telling her, and then i practically ditched her to go to intervarsity tonight. on the other hand, i'm glad that i went because i realized something very important, regarding my spiritual life. more on that later. maybe i just need to live w/the fact that i can't always please people...ahhh, i don't want to be labeled a people pleaser! >_<
anyway, at iv, the band drummer told us his situation five years ago--midterms, jazz concert, etc. the week after fall con--and he said that he decided to go to fall con (catalina) anyway and didn't regret his decision. i'm in a similar jam because i have to attend a mandatory performance for class this saturday, but fall con is this weekend! i posted up a request to exchange tickets a while ago, but so far, nothing has happened. man, i thought it was wonderful how an iv person i know said that she worked at the theater where the performance is being held because i thought i'd be able to get connections. however, when we got there, we found out that all of the tickets were sold out, so there's no way for me to buy another ticket. ugh...ticket switch needed pronto! hm, maybe God's just telling me not to go? or maybe He's telling me something else entirely...
back to the realization...WHAT AM I LIVING FOR? academics or God?! i just realized that i've been putting academics before God. i need to get my priorities straight. man, oh man. rob made such a good point at iv today. i'm not too fond of living a hard life later on, but if that's God's will, then i just need to let go of my goals and live for Him, even if it means becoming a struggling doctor or not becoming a doctor at all. i really want to help people get better, but if God wants me to help people in a different way, then i should go with that. i really need to focus on what matters.
perhaps i should just ditch the performance and bomb the paper that i have to write on it...at least i'd be able to go to fall con. but there's always next year for the conference, right? i'm so confused and i really need guidance as to what i should do. please pray for me.
a troubled hannah
i practically snubbed kristina, my other roommate! man, oh man. i need to learn to stick to my commitments. i signed up to give candy to the underprivileged halloweeners w/out telling her, and then i practically ditched her to go to intervarsity tonight. on the other hand, i'm glad that i went because i realized something very important, regarding my spiritual life. more on that later. maybe i just need to live w/the fact that i can't always please people...ahhh, i don't want to be labeled a people pleaser! >_<
anyway, at iv, the band drummer told us his situation five years ago--midterms, jazz concert, etc. the week after fall con--and he said that he decided to go to fall con (catalina) anyway and didn't regret his decision. i'm in a similar jam because i have to attend a mandatory performance for class this saturday, but fall con is this weekend! i posted up a request to exchange tickets a while ago, but so far, nothing has happened. man, i thought it was wonderful how an iv person i know said that she worked at the theater where the performance is being held because i thought i'd be able to get connections. however, when we got there, we found out that all of the tickets were sold out, so there's no way for me to buy another ticket. ugh...ticket switch needed pronto! hm, maybe God's just telling me not to go? or maybe He's telling me something else entirely...
back to the realization...WHAT AM I LIVING FOR? academics or God?! i just realized that i've been putting academics before God. i need to get my priorities straight. man, oh man. rob made such a good point at iv today. i'm not too fond of living a hard life later on, but if that's God's will, then i just need to let go of my goals and live for Him, even if it means becoming a struggling doctor or not becoming a doctor at all. i really want to help people get better, but if God wants me to help people in a different way, then i should go with that. i really need to focus on what matters.
perhaps i should just ditch the performance and bomb the paper that i have to write on it...at least i'd be able to go to fall con. but there's always next year for the conference, right? i'm so confused and i really need guidance as to what i should do. please pray for me.
a troubled hannah