Gina Taylor got married. Gina Taylor got married.
I think everyone on the bride's side is a little shocked that it happened. We all showed up, but that doesn't mean that we fully believed the wedding would go without an objection, or one of them getting cold feet, or just...something Gina Taylorish. I wasn't all that worried until I found her in the guest room, but I think I was too busy thinking
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"If he didn't send them, I can almost guaruntee you that it's Arianna's fault, and if that's the case, let me yell at her. But if it's Dan's fault he forgot, then by all means."
Either way, one of us gets to yell at one of them if they didn't send them. Fair enough. I'll feel better about being upset if they give me a good reason for it. It'll justify all the stupid separation issues I've been feeling over the past couple of days.
I hate being like that. As many times as I hear that its perfectly normal for a parent to miss their child, it still bothers me. I never thought I'd be this bad over something stupid like Halloween.
Halloween isn't all that big as far as holidays go. Christmas is big. Easter is a little up there. Birthdays, of course, are unforgiveable. But why Halloween is driving me so insane, I don't know.
The only thing exciting about it are the clothes and the pumpkins.
"I bet she had fun."
Julia loves attention. She doesn't care who gives it to her, as long as she gets plenty of it. I bet it makes no difference to her whether Arianna and Dan are taking care of her, or her parents. If they're keeping her just as busy as we do, she doesn't miss me.
She misses Sam though. She always misses Sam. I've learned to accept it and be glad that she loves him so much, but its a fact to mention. Sam is the favorite and she'd miss him no matter what.
I'm the one who has to work at it a little more.
"Her eyes lit up when she tried on the outfit. And then I gave her the wand, and she was so happy I could hardly keep her still long enough to put on the shoes."
This is bad. He needs to stop me now.
"She likes the sparkles."
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Here we go. I thought I was going to have to deal with this later, but she's going to get depressed now. And once Carly gets going, she can't stop herself, so I'll have to do something sooner than I thought. I know I'll probably be guilty once we either see the pictures or get home, but she'll still outdo me on it.
"Her eyes lit up when she tried on the outfit. And then I gave her the wand, and she was so happy I could hardly keep her still long enough to put on the shoes."
"I know."
"She likes the sparkles."
"I know." I laughed and pulled her over into my lap, then leaned up and kissed her. "Relax. It's one Halloween, just like I told you. Even if she does remember, she'll forgive us." I kissed the spot between her jaw and her ear. "And even if she's a little pissed, there's ways of getting around it."
I know I already spoil our daughter more than I should, but if it helps if she somehow remembers this, then I'll live with a little more.
"So it's okay." I smiled when I was sure I had her attention, and kissed her again, moving my arms around her.
"We're not bad parents, she's not going to hate us forever, I'm sure she had a great time, and there's plenty of years left for cute costumes and all of it. Okay?" Be okay. At least until we go see the pictures. I'll give you as much sex as you want if you want to be okay long enough for it to happen.
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Sam shouldn't be laughing over this. It isn't funny. And he shouldn't be kissing me over it either. This isn't any kind of kissing matter. This is about our daughter. Our little daughter. The one we left at home to come here because we're selfish and wanted to take a nice little vacation in New York City where we could witness the impossible.
Gina would have gotten married whether I was there or not. My talk with her wasn't that good. She made up her mind on her own. I had nothing to do with that.
The only thing she wanted me for was a Daphne bouncer, and Sam took care of her all by himself.
I knew I should have sent him with a Pottery Barn certificate. You can't go wrong with those things.
"Relax. It's one Halloween, just like I told you. Even if she does remember, she'll forgive us. And even if she's a little pissed, there's ways of getting around it."
For Sam. There's always ways of getting around it for Sam. Julia is a little less forgiving when its me. For a two year old, she's incredibly bright. She knows her Mom hates giving into demands more than her Dad does.
Sam will give her anything at anytime if she cries enough for it. I won't, because I'd like her to be raised to be appreciative. I was called spoiled practically right up until I became an adult. I want Julia to value things, and not to think that toys and gifts are just owed to her.
Cookies are another story entirely, but toys have limits.
"We're not bad parents, she's not going to hate us forever, I'm sure she had a great time, and there's plenty of years left for cute costumes and all of it. Okay?"
"Okay." I sighed and kissed him, and then made myself comfortable in his arms. "I just don't want her to hold this against us."
How could we even think about having one baby if we're making the other one sad, you know? I want her to be okay.
"And I really have been thinking about her all day. But she's too young to understand that."
Her Mom loves her. A lot.
Her and her little costume...
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"She won't." So stop worrying. That's my job. Let me do my job when it's needed, or not needed, so you can be the one who tells me to calm the hell down and get over myself already. You're good at that, I'm good at this, let's stick with the usual roles, huh?
That doesn't mean I don't actually sort of like this not worrying thing, but it's not going to last. So she should get back on her usual one, and let me get back to mine when it's needed.
I'll bet you anything Jules'll just be happy to see us, and that'll be it.
"And I really have been thinking about her all day. But she's too young to understand that."
"She will eventually." I shrugged as I got comfortable holding her. "And I don't think she's going to think too much on it now. It's one trip, Car. We got to hang out in New York, we witnessed either the miracle or the sign of the end when one of our friends got married, we had a good time, and soon we'll be going home."
None of it's a bad thing. "And then we'll be there, she'll be happy to see us, we'll go home, and I promise you things will be exactly like they were in an hour flat." If that. Julia has her own way of making this normal again, and she'll find some way to make that work, because she gets annoyed when things are weird.
"So don't worry about it, and stick with thinking about all the ways you could possibly yell if the pictures aren't there when we get to the hotel." That should make her happy. It usually does.
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Soon. Tomorrow soon. We'll pack up in the morning and get everything taken care of so that we'll be ready by five for our six o'clock flight. The one that is bound to have at least one crazy stewardess on it who was either on the last flight, or who heard about me from the bitch on the last one. Damn. I should have killed her when I had the chance.
Whatever. As long as Sam is alright with keeping me busy, I'll be fine. I'll wear some kind of tight shirt with one of the skirts I didn't wear while we were here, and that'll keep things as simple as last time, even though that bitch ruined one of my favorite skirts when she spilled that soda on me.
I should have sued for damages. My nephew is going to be a lawyer, he has connections.
"Okay."
I don't have any choice but to believe Sam. There's nothing we can do about this from here. Even if Julia hates us, we already missed Halloween, and there's nothing we can do but try to make it up to her. So I'm going to have faith in her, and in her father, and hope to God that my daughter doesn't eternally hate me for this.
"And then we'll be there, she'll be happy to see us, we'll go home, and I promise you things will be exactly like they were in an hour flat."
I guess that's true. Julia hates change. She tries to keep things as normal as she possibly can even when things are different. So with any luck, the second she sees that we're back with her, she'll want everything to go back the way it was.
That's all I can ask for now. I can deal with toddler anger as long as its anger that involves us carrying out our lives normally.
Because if there's one thing Julia knows how to throw, its a tantrum.
"So don't worry about it, and stick with thinking about all the ways you could possibly yell if the pictures aren't there when we get to the hotel."
Look at that, Sam gave me a happy thought.
"...You're good." I laughed, leaning in for a kiss. "I haven't had anything to yell at Dan over in months."
This could work for me.
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"I'm well practiced." I laughed and leaned up to meet her, kissing back gently. "Took long enough, huh?" Hey, I'm aware of it. I made enough screw ups over the years to get to this point. I'm good, and I'm proud of it.
"I haven't had anything to yell at Dan over in months."
"He gets away with too much." I grinned. "You can have a lot of fun with it." And it'll have to last her more months afterwards, because one of the big things I have faith in when it comes to Dan is, he can work his way out of anything.
I looked up when we pulled to a stop, and realized we were at the hotel. I let Carly off of my lap, and this time made myself wait to just let the guy open the door, because doing that more than once is just kinda pushing it, no matter how much it bugs me.
Once he did, I nodded to him, and got out. "Thanks."
See, be proud of me Car. I behaved. I let the guy do the thing I don't like because I know it's what I'm supposed to let him do. I wonder if he ever thinks it's a little degrading. I probably would. I know all the service jobs I had weren't that big a deal, except for the House Boy period, but there were definitely moments I wondered why the hell I was bothering with something like this.
Then I got my paycheck.
I guess you just get used to it.
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