Gina Taylor got married. Gina Taylor got married.
I think everyone on the bride's side is a little shocked that it happened. We all showed up, but that doesn't mean that we fully believed the wedding would go without an objection, or one of them getting cold feet, or just...something Gina Taylorish. I wasn't all that worried until I found her in the guest room, but I think I was too busy thinking
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Nice kiss. She's satisfied. I grinned and kissed back, moving an arm around her waist to keep her close, and heard heels clicking and getting closer to us, because the DJ's setting up the new music.
Probably Gina coming over to wisecrack. Whatever, I'm getting my reward for behaving like a good Sam.
"I don't know whether I should clap or be embarrassed for you."
Damn it, it's the Carrot.
I sighed and let Carly go before turning to deal with Daphne. "Daphne, hey."
She says much more, I don't think anyone's going to be able to hold me back. I can't stand that much contempt when I'm a lot better a person than I used to be. I've changed. She has no right to look at me like that.
"Really. You're not obligated to do all of the dances just because you showed up. Didn't you know that?"
That's it. I'm going to make my comment, and then I'm going to walk away.
"Well, I wasn't the only one, in case you didn't notice. People are actually enjoying themselves, you might want to try that."
I moved my arm away from Carly so I could face Daphne completely. "But, actually, it's great that you came over. I've been meaning to talk to you." I smiled calmly. "Y'know, this is just talking as a professional who knows enough to know what looks good. That dress? Makes you look like a malnourished carrot."
Perfect.
"And this light? Isn't helping that. My suggestion? Stay in the shadows for the rest of the night. Or complete darkness, one of the two."
Even better!
"I'd go with the complete darkness to be honest, because even with the shadows I'd imagine that you'll be burning your image into the skull of every person here anyway. And I don't mean that in a good way." She's pissed. I love it. "Just saying. As a professional trying to help out."
I smiled at her again, and then walked away calmly, heading back for our table.
There's silence, I think just about everyone in the room caught on to that.
I was originally going to stay off to the side when I did it, but she came to me. Her fault. Besides, this?
Much better.
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I'll listen. It'll be a complete and total waste of my time, but I'll listen. Sam Howell wants to talk to me. No matter how it goes, him trying to talk to me will be something to laugh over.
The way he said that was comical on its own. Like he's proud of himself for daring to get my attention. Good for him. I'm only listening because Carly is standing next to him. She'd take it personally if I walked away, and I'd rather not give her the impression that I've turned against her because of her poor choices.
"Then talk."
I don't have all night. I'd like to leave this reception at a reasonable time. There are other places in New York where Ethan and I would have a much better time. I only showed up to this function in the first place because someone had to be there to report back to the rest of the gang. Carly is too loyal to give out the details.
"Y'know, this is just talking as a professional who knows enough to know what looks good. That dress? Makes you look like a malnourished carrot."
...What the fucking hell did he just say to me?!
No. That was in my head. He wouldn't. He doesn't have enough of a spine for that. He's Sam Howell for crying the fuck out loud.
What's going on here?!
"And this light? Isn't helping that. My suggestion? Stay in the shadows for the rest of the night. Or complete darkness, one of the two."
This is ridiculous. Why the fuck is Carly letting him keep going? She knows what he is. He has no right to talk to me like that. He's a nothing. A complete, total nothing who thinks he's a something because he takes pictures for a living.
I bet he's really moving up in the world with that one.
Why is he saying things about my dress?!
"I'd go with the complete darkness to be honest, because even with the shadows I'd imagine that you'll be burning your image into the skull of every person here anyway. And I don't mean that in a good way. Just saying. As a professional trying to help out."
Enough!
I cannot believe this. After all these years and everything that I tolerated. After putting up with him and Carly in high school, seeing them at reunions, even running into her casually, I more than bit my tongue. I never once said more about Sam than the bare minimuim of what I thought a friend deserved to hear.
But now, he's decided to be disrespectful to me in front of our friends. And. She. Let. Him.
Oh no, he is not walking away from this one.
"A professional!?" I called after him, unwilling to let him have the last word. "Thanks, Sam. You know, the opinion of a man so devoid of value that his own parents couldn't stand him means so much. You keep taking those pictures. I'm sure youre really talented!"
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I just smiled and walked across the floor, and saw in the corner of my eye Gina laughing into Dylan's shoulder.
Dylan's giving me the approving grin Gina probably would if she could stop laughing at the whole thing. And everyone else is either shocked, or royally entertained.
"Thanks, Sam. You know, the opinion of a man so devoid of value that his own parents couldn't stand him means so much. You keep taking those pictures. I'm sure youre really talented!"
I stopped cold, my eyes widening as what she said actually set in with me. Then there was the rush of heat that I barely kept in check, as I turned around slowly, to see Carly already moving for her.
I went forward, and caught her arm, feeling myself shut down to keep the heat from going over. "Don't." If I can be calm, she can be calm. "I'll handle it."
Then I looked back to Daphne slowly, and the rest of it, I just felt like I was on autopilot. I smiled, and I shrugged. "You know what, Daph?" My voice was so calm, it actually freaked me out a little.
"You don't know the first thing about that. And you never will. So I'm going forgive you for what you just said. But here's the thing, okay?"
I laughed at how confused she looked. I think she expected me to either back down, or be really pissed. I'm not sure which, and I don't care. I really just... Don't care.
"I'm probably at least a little like you say I am. Really, I'm serious. I'm not the greatest guy who ever lived, I'm not even close. And I'll always be the first to admit to that. Always."
But I've changed. I haven't touched a drink in three and a half years. I'm a good father, I make my girlfriend happy, and I make a good living. I think that's all I can ask for, and it's more than enough for me.
"But you? I think you're a fucking hooker reject living off her exes and the guys stupid enough to marry you, who came here in a godawful dress to judge everyone else, because you're not happy, and you never will be as long as you stay this way."
Absolute silence, but I don't think I could stop myself if I tried.
"And you know what else? You're the type of girl that's going to die on the fumes of the cosmetics she inhales trying to make herself look perfect. And you are definitely anything but. So go fuck yourself, because as far as I'm concerned, you don't remotely measure up to a single person in this room."
And that, as they say, is that.
I turned, and walked back to the table silently, sitting down in my seat, looking straight ahead. I didn't bother looking at any of the faces, I'm not sure what I would have seen.
And then, someone started applauding. And it spread.
Okay, I'm not calm anymore. Now I'm just shocked.
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I stood staring at him for a few seconds, unable to do anything else while I tried to get over my shock. Sam Howell, a man even more useless than my first husband Edward, is trying to put me in my place.
What is wrong with these fucking people?!
Everyone in this room should be coming to my aid, not applauding him. The crass and worthless of the world should not be encouraged, and Sam is at the top of that list. The words he used against me just now prove it. What man in his right mind would tell a woman to go fuck herself?
I have never been with someone so repulsive, nor would I ever be. But I guess I forgot something. I'm not among a group of people who would see things my way. No one in the room has the standards I do. They weren't raised to have any values.
Without any sense of right and wrong, they laugh at this. They don't have anything else to do.
I've never seen such a savage display of amusement. Ever. And back when I pretended to give a damn about these people, I saw a lot, regularly.
Sam Howell. Of all the fucking people in the world.
"You..."
"No, you. Are finished. Do you need me to show you to the door?"
I can't say I'm surprised. Sam Howell brainwashed Carly. For years, she's been nothing more than the robot he brings along with him to try and prove himself. I can't believe no one sees through it but me! They're obvious. They've always been obvious!
"How can you stand here and defend a...a predator like that?!"
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I know laughing at her would only make the situation worse, but its hard to keep it in. Daphne deserved every last word of what Sam said to her. Ever since I met her, Daphne has insisted that all of her criticisms towards me where only in my best interest. Apparently, they were things I needed to hear.
Well, personally, I think she needed to hear that, and Sam giving all of Daphne's bullshit back to her was long overdue.
She never had any right to say the things she did about him. I only tolerated it to keep the tension out of our relationship in high school. It was clear that there was no getting rid of Daphne. I kept the peace and spoke up when I had to.
The fact that she thinks she can still say those things just proves how deluded she is. We're not sixteen anymore. Sam and I, as far as I know, are settled. He's Julia's father, my boyfriend, and the best damn photographer you'll ever meet.
So yes, if that's not good enough for Daphne, I agree with him. She should go fuck herself instead of the fifty year old men she's been vowing to honor and obey until their final heart attack.
...Sam looks a little surprised. I think. I've never seen that exact expression on him before. But he was entitled to say those things, and Daphne is pretty damn lucky that he did.
If Sam had left it go, I swear, I would have broken a glass and given her an accessory colored to match her latest dye job.
"I'll take that as a yes."
I grasped her arm sharply and ignored her protests while I walked quickly in the direction we'd come in. Who knows where her old husband went. I'm assuming he either already left or wants to stay and clap for my boyfriend too. Either way, he's not the problem. She is.
"After everything I did for you, I don't believe this!"
Come on. Do we really have to make a scene.
"Then maybe you should get some therapy for that. Among other things." I opened the door and pushed her out, closing it quickly behind me. New York in the fall. Gee, I hope she doesn't freeze her ass off in that abomination of a dress.
That's what she gets for starting something with Sam.
I walked back in quietly, attempting not to look at Gina. If I look, I'll see how amused she is, and then I'll be the same exact way. I already know that she's enjoying this, and that Sam probably just made her wedding day complete, but I don't need to see it. That kind of attitude is contagious.
I sat down next to Sam and picked up my water glass, taking a long sip and then setting it back down.
I know I don't make a habit of saying this in public, but it fits.
"You were great."
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I could hug Sam if I were that type of person. But I got married, and Daphne got completely fucking told, all in the same day. I think after winning a few awards, I could actually die happy.
I cannot believe that shit came out of his mouth. It's great.
This is the perfect wedding. Truly.
I smirked and whispered to Dylan, then sent him over to the DJ. Once Dylan talked to him, I stood up, tapping my fork against my glass to get everyone's attention.
"Hey hey hey. The bride would like to make a toast." The bride is very buzzed, but she wants her fucking toast, so shut the hell up already.
"A toast, to Sam Howell. The man who had the courage to voice what none of us were willing to say all night. And for giving me and Dylan a nice little memorable moment on our wedding day. To Sam!"
"To Sam!"
"And this song, Sam, is for you." I smirked and raised my glass to him, and then grinned when he started laughing at the song, and drank.
I think You May Be Right fits.
Fucking perfect moment. Bravo, Sam. Bravo.
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"That's the first time I've ever heard you say that in public." I grinned at Carly, and kissed her, then heard the fork clinking against the glass.
Oh look, Gina wants to say something.
"Hey hey hey. The bride would like to make a toast."
The bride has already had a drink too many. I wonder if the toast is over Daphne leaving, or just in general. I think it's over Daphne leaving. Too bad Carly just sent her out the door, so she won't be able to hear it.
"A toast, to Sam Howell. The man who had the courage to voice what none of us were willing to say all night. And for giving me and Dylan a nice little memorable moment on our wedding day. To Sam!"
Oh, the toast is for me. Well that's... Pretty cool, actually. I've never gotten one of those before. I should do something like this more often, if that's the way it's going to go.
"To Sam!"
"Thank you." I laughed and raised my soda to Gina, sipping some of it while everyone else drank.
"And this song, Sam, is for you."
...
I started laughing right after the first few notes. I just couldn't help it. She's on a roll with this stuff, isn't she? You May Be Right?
"Thanks, Gina."
Works for me!
I laughed and then looked over at Carly again. "You're not mad about that, are you?" I have to be sure. It was Daphne, after all, and I'm sure that even sending her out the door won't completely cut ties. She'll find some way to linger.
And I'm not just talking about the image she's left in everyone's head, either.
"I just didn't want you getting taken out of here because you beat the living hell out of her." Even thought it would have been funny. It's like the thing with the flight attendant on a larger scale.
"What came after... That was kinda... Autopilot, or something."
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"Thank you."
"And this song, Sam, is for you."
"Thanks, Gina."
She's really using her memories of Sam like Billy Joel for all that they're worth, isn't she? First the CD, now this, what's next, concert tickets?
I laughed, amused at the particular song she'd picked, and decided that I was going to try and forget that the Daphne thing had ever happened. It makes me angry to think about it, even if Sam did really let her have it when he defended himself. People like her just never get it. She's not going to change at all, and the next time I see her, she'll say the same exact things, the same exact ways, like he never said a word.
I guess that's a reason to not forget it though, isn't it? Sam doesn't have moments like these very often. Him telling her off is something I might want to remember.
I just get so annoyed that I wasted time being friends with her in the first place. Things might have been a lot different when we were younger if I'd cut ties to her the second she started talking about him.
"You're not mad about that, are you?"
...What?
Okay. Now I'm confused. I just told Sam that I thought he did great. Why would he think I'm mad at him? Did he just do something in the past minute that I missed but would find extremely offensive?
"I just didn't want you getting taken out of here because you beat the living hell out of her."
That was smart. I would have killed her. The second the words came out of her mouth, I lost all sense of right and wrong and was planning on just charging and attacjing. If Sam hadn't stopped me, I think I'd be in a police car right now. Or at the very least, they'd be reading me the miranda rights.
"What came after... That was kinda... Autopilot, or something."
I noticed. He just snapped. And not in a bad way, but it happened. She finally made a comment low enough for Sam to break on his usually decent behavior and fire back with nothing less than the pathetic truth. For all her talk, Daphne is the one who doesn't matter. She shouldn't. All she ever does is try to get at us for being happy.
"I don't ever remember seeing that side of you before." But it was justified. Something needed to be said or done. Since no one really wanted me to finish her off right here and now, this was the next best thing.
"You surprise me sometimes. I never thought you would say those things to Daphne, but I'm glad that you did. I'm proud of you."
I stood up and pushed my chair in, waiting for Sam to get the idea so that he would do the same.
"Do I have to ask?"
Come on, that's the guy's job.
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I don't see it out of me all that often. Usually I run from stuff like that, and even though I don't like it, I just keep it that way. "Yeah." I laughed. "Weird, isn't it?"
"You surprise me sometimes. I never thought you would say those things to Daphne, but I'm glad that you did. I'm proud of you."
"Thanks." I smiled and finished off my soda. I surprised her? I surprised me. Now that I'm not on auto pilot anymore? Yeah.
But to hell with it, it was better than me blowing anyone up. Which is exactly how it would have gone if I hadn't stopped myself. So it was either that for Daphne, or she get torched.
She lucked out.
I looked over, seeing Carly get up, and tried to figure out what this one was over. Something else happening?
"Do I have to ask?"
... Oh.
Well, that would make sense wouldn't it. I smiled and got up, pushing my chair in. "Nope." I took her hand, and led her out to the dance floor.
Apparently, Sam did good. There's a Billy Joel song being played in my honor, people toasted me, and I get to dance with my girlfriend who's not pissed over what I did.
Not a bad wedding, even if it isn't ours.
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He's going to like this. Mostly because he'll get a chance to show off, but I think I might have something to do with it too. Sam enjoys dancing with me when Julia actually lets us get away with it. And usually, when she does let us have some time to ourselves, we move too fast to worry about dancing. That's secondary to other things. So when it happens like this, its nice.
The whole trip has been pretty good. I didn't think it would be, but I don't have very many regrets. I'd still like to beat the shit out of my friend the stewardess, but I'm over it. And I'd also like to make Daphne a little less pretty for having the nerve to say that to Sam, but he took care of it. Its better that he took care of it. Now she knows that he's not going to take her shit anymore. Everything worked out.
Dan said Julia was doing fine the last time I called him, too. She's happy, she's filled with candy, and she loves her little dress. With her little wings, and her little shoes. They make her happy, and I've been promised pictures.
I think I'll feel more guilty when I look at them, but its better than having nothing.
I danced with Sam for two songs before the DJ made an announcement for all of the unmarried ladies to get together for the bouquet toss. Hearing that, I very wisely stayed far away from those women and stood next to Sam where I could watch.
I'm not taking any chances on this one.
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But I think no matter what the hell I planned, somehow, she'd see through whatever bullshit I put up. She wouldn't have moved off that far to the side if she wasn't already paranoid.
I still don't get what she's so fucking afraid of. Sure, she did it once, but shit, Marcello wasn't the one, or however the fuck it goes. And she knew that. He would have been close if it wasn't for Sam.
And Sam's not going anywhere this time. They're practically married already. What the fuck difference would a ring make?
Fuck it. I'll aim. I have a decent idea of where she is.
I wonder if it counts if it lands close to the girl instead of actually hitting them or anything.
With my luck, it'll land with Lissa, and I'll get blamed for her first divorce when it inevitably happens, because the girl can't keep her fucking legs closed unless her life depended on it.
Okay, here goes.
I'm too small for this shit.
I threw the boquet back off and to the side, and then turned around to see where it made it.
Come on, come on...
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She planned that. Its obvious. Incredibly obvious. So obvious that it couldn't have been more obvious if she tried. She fucking aimed. I mean, that wasn't anywhere close to the girls who were trying to catch it. It was completely to the other side, up, over, and in my arms.
I'm only taking partial blame for this one, even though I caught it, because I'm a slayer. When something is propelling towards me, my first instinct is to handle it. If its something small, of course I'm going to catch it. That's the way my abilities work. Instinct to protect yourself from potentional danger.
Ironically, that instinct backfired on me big time with this, damnit.
I laughed anyway and shook my head at Gina, who couldn't have looked happier with herself if you told her she was the most wanted bitch of Broadway, and looked down at the bouquet.
They really are pretty flowers. A little dark for my taste, but this is a Halloween wedding. Its fitting, but if I were going to do it, I'd get something lighter. A pinkish red flower with some sharp white accents, or maybe all a single color and then a contrasting ribbon because that would look nice...
What the hell?!
I never want to have those thoughts ever again.
"She did that on purpose."
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And there's no way in hell that's funny.
"She did that on purpose."
"Yes she did." I tried not to crack a smile, and then realized it wasn't worth it. She knows I think this is funny. She knows it doesn't bother me at all.
We don't need to get married. But that doesn't mean we never should. Just because we both were once before doesn't mean anything. Even though mine technically doesn't count, especially compared to hers.
So yeah, we should. We're going to have another kid, at some point, we should just do it. It's not like I want something huge. Probably not even something like this.
When we're ready, we will. And I won't do anything to move that along, unless waiting to be 'ready' takes freakin' ages. I don't see the point of it never happening when I don't want to be with anyone else, and she feels the same way.
"It's not a bad thing, Car." I laughed at the look she gave me, and kissed her, the nodded to Gina's evil triumph look that she was wearing.
All the unmarried women look kinda pissed. I don't think too many of them caught onto that being a sneaky move on Gina's part, but still, they're indignant that they didn't get it.
I think either way, it's ironic that the one girl in the room that seriously doesn't want to get married caught the boquet thrown by the one girl no one thought would ever get married. Or at least have a boyfriend for any stretch. At all.
At the very least... It's funny as hell. At the most, it's still funny as hell, and maybe it'll be an omen even if it was a planned move.
"We're still not going to until we're ready, remember?"
Personally, I'd like it to happen before Jules is old enough to start asking why Mommy and Daddy aren't married yet. But that's just me. Because I'm not sure how I'd answer that question.
So before then. After she's had the second baby, and before Jules starts asking questions. It's a nice time frame to work in.
Eventually I'll have to get her to work with that, but it's a time frame that works inside my head at the very least. It's something.
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Why is Sam so happy about this? Doesn't he see how embarrassing it is? Hasn't he noticed how upset all the other women in the room seem to be? Doesn't he get it?
...How come I'm the only one who sees how this is a bad thing? We shouldn't be smiling over this. The smiling only encourages Gina to do things that call attention to the fact that we're not married, when we're okay like this. And what's more, we're happy like this.
There are a lot of married couples who wish they could find the happiness we have. Why ruin it with a wedding ring?
"It's not a bad thing, Car."
To him. It's not a bad thing to him. Sam has no issues with it because he's not the one holding the bouquet. But, if the situation were reversed, I think he'd be feeling the exact same way that I do right now.
And I feel like I want to strangle the bride.
"I know."
I'm not going to say I think it was mean-spirited and innapropriate--even though I think I do--because it was harmless. Mean-spirited, innapropriate and harmless.
Which really, are three words to descrive Gina on any other day of the week, so I shouldn't have expected this to be any kind of an exception.
But come on, I'm holding the bridal bouquet, and with it, the suggestion that we're going to be the next ones married.
"We're still not going to until we're ready, remember?"
"I remember." I just don't feel all that ready now, and I get a little annoyed when people act like we owe it to ourselves to make that committment when we're doing just fine like this. I think we should be proud of what we have and not worrying about adding onto it.
"But how close to being ready are you?" I'm starting to think that Sam is going to hit 'ready' before I do. If that happens, we might have some problems. I would never be able to reject Sam on that, no matter how afraid of it I could be. So yeah, I'd be fucked.
But like I said on the phone, I'm always fucked anyway.
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She remembers. She remembers, but she still doesn't sound happy about it. Yeah, I might have to work some things to get that time frame going at some point.
"But how close to being ready are you?"
How do I answer that and make her feel better for now? Is that even possible? And while we're at it, should I bother?
Whatever, I'm in a good mood. This has been a good day for me. Sex in the limo, insulting the Carrot, getting to dance with my girlfriend, and everything else. I can just be honest with her.
"Close enough." I could make the leap. Because it's not that much of a leap. It's a good step, it's not something that's going to end in anyone's destruction.
So it's something I could deal with. I love her, and that's the end of it. We're already looking at forever anyway, if I have say in it, so why not?
"I think you probably worry about it more than you should. But we don't need to talk about it." We really don't. We can live with leaving it alone for a little while. Just not forever.
So if she wants to leave it alone for now, and just enjoy everything else, that's fine by me.
For now.
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Close enough? Close enough to what? To doing this? This? The whole wedding with the bouquet and all the people thing? When he did decide he was ready for this?
I need to breathe. Breathe and think. And not worry. Breathe, think, and stay calm. I should be happy. At some point in the future, my boyfriend would like to marry me. If I was most women, I'd be thrilled right now. Especially with us still being young, and our life being settled into something good. This shouldn't be bad. It means he loves me.
And I need to understand that we're going to do it someday because I love him too. I can't imagine my life with anyone else. We have a family, and we're trying to add onto it. So maybe, at some point, I could get over my belief that marriage is terrifying, and we could do it.
Not all marriages end in divorce, right?
"I think you probably worry about it more than you should. But we don't need to talk about it."
I can live with that. I'm not ready now. I won't be for a while. There's no reason to be talking about it yet. And I probably do worry too much, but I can't help myself.
We have something good. I almost ruined it before, I don't want to do something to jeopardize what we have ever again.
Sam would understand that, right?
"Thank you." I nodded and leaned up to kiss him. "We'll..someday, you know?"
It'll happen someday. He'll make sure of that if he wants to.
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