(Untitled)
"You know what? Fuck you.""Been there, done that. Got the ring to prove it." I waved my hand at Dylan, ignoring the glare. "Now fuck off so I can make my call, asshole." I rolled my eyes and grabbed the phone, ignoring my fiancee glaring at me. Fucker can take it. We've been fighting for as long as we've been together, this is nothing new
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Oh, damnit. Now I have to give her an answer about the wedding. Shit. I was hoping to put that off for a decent period of time. At least until I figured out if I could actually handle the plane ride to New York. I know this is one of those milestones in your friend's live that you shouldn't really miss, but I'm not good with planes. Period. The last time I was on one, it was bad. The time before that, it was terrible. I've only ever been decent with the flight thing when Sam was sitting next to me, and even then it was hell. I was scared out of my mind and he kept turning his head so that he wouldn't laugh directly at me.
My only comfort was getting into the Mile High Club. Now that we're both card carrying members, well, the distraction would be less goal oriented.
Not to mention how Gina is fucked in the head enough to pick Halloween as her wedding date. Its not like I was planning on doing much more than putting on the Leia costume for Sam, but still. Julia is going to love Halloween, and will probably have the tiniest bit of understanding about it this year, and I'm going to miss out on that.
Someday, she could really hate me for missing out on it.
We'd have to leave her with Arianna, or Dan, or a combination of the two. That's a bad idea because Arianna would end up eating all of Julia's candy. Honestly, I don't like Julia to have very many sweets, but I also don't want Arianna watching her while she's hopped up on sugar.
We should probably stay home.
"I'm making it easy for you."
No, she's making it hard. Hard for me to say no because she can always fire back with 'but I went to Italy for yours'.
That one hardly counts.
"No you're not. You're just calling to see if I went into cardiac arrest when I got the invitation." Gina Taylor is getting married, who the hell would have been psychotic enough to predict that?
I heard a loud noise coming from the other room and glanced at the doorway, waiting for Sam to walk in soaking wet because that's what happens on nights like these.
The technical term for it is 'bath time', but Jules seems to like splashing more than bathing. We deal with it by taking turns.
Tonight would be Sam's turn.
"So did you pay him or just screw the guy into submission?"
This is Gina, it was definitely one of the two, and if she says it wasn't, she's lying.
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"That too." Hey, I can admit it. It's not like I ever saw this coming, so everyone else being so surprised doesn't surprise me. It's fucking annoying, but it doesn't surprise me.
"So did you pay him or just screw the guy into submission?"
"Why would I pay a guy to marry me?" This is me. The only time I'd pay a guy to marry me? Would be never. "What the hell are you on? Is raising a kid messing you up that badly?" Because if it is? I told her so.
"If it was going to be either, it'd be fucking into submission. But I think it was the other way around."
"I heard that!"
"Shut the hell up, Dylan!" I grinned and headed into the kitchen, sitting down and putting my feet up on the table. "It's really fucked up and hard to explain. If you show, I'll try to." Providing she shows. I remember something about Carly being afraid of planes.
So unless they're going to drive, this might be sketchy.
"So the question is, are you going to." She decides she's not going to, I'm going to go down there bring her back with me. I'm not afraid to kidnap. Especially since I ended up somehow inviting that dumb bitch without meaning to. I'll need Carly here.
And I can't back out of it, since Daphne's supposedly still on good terms with her second husband who works in Broadway. Dylan and I could get fucked if we fuck with her.
Still, I'll find a way to hurt her if she fucks up some part of my wedding. It's going to be on Halloween, and it's going to be interesting. Daphne, of all people, won't mess that up.
Carly can help gaurd against that. Not to mention snarking up the ceremony so it's not too teary or some bullshit like that. I don't want an over emotional wedding. I want a weird one that people are going to remember. Luckily, Dylan wants that too. Plus I haven't seen her and Sam in a while, so it'd be nice.
Nice? It'd be fun. Not nice.
Getting married is throwing me in some directions I don't think I like.
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Does it always have to be a kid messing me up thing? Julia hasn't messed me up at all. She's made things better. I had to mature a lot more than I ever wanted to when she was born, and it turned out to be a good thing. I never wanted a baby, but that was before I had one.
And now, I'm just crazy enough to believe that there are worse things in life than having another one. So maybe I am a little messed up, but no moreso than the usual.
"I was thinking from the actress angle. This does give your career a boost, don't even try to pretend it doesn't. You're not that good an actress."
The only actress I know who is that good would be me.
"If it was going to be either, it'd be fucking into submission. But I think it was the other way around."
"I heard that!"
"Shut the hell up, Dylan!"
I laughed and reached over to grab a pillow to put in back of my head. I'm comfortable. I shouldn't be because I need to go out and kill things later, but I am. Talking to Gina makes me feel a little less...
domestic.
"God, you sound crazy about him."
"It's really fucked up and hard to explain. If you show, I'll try to. So the question is, are you going to."
"I think I need to talk to Sam about that a little more." I do. I have to get him to agree with me that the two of us taking a trip to New York on Halloween would be a bad thing. If we died, Julia would be left orphaned.
And Arianna would have custody.
I love her, but no. Just no.
"I feel guilty leaving Julia alone on a holiday. And I hate planes. Plus it might be difficult for Sam with work, and I know I'd have to be in on Monday at the latest...I know these all sound like excuses, but...its mostly the first two."
Although Gina's wedding is something I'd have to see to believe...
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"Oh I know it does." And I know she's still got her ego. She should be on the stage. We should have gone to New York together once we got out, and Sam left. But then they wouldn't be together, and she wouldn't be as happy. Undying love, and all this happy shit.
It's what movies are made of. And who can interfere with that? "But at the same time, it's getting married. I'd never put myself into it if I didn't want to, just for a career boost." And she knows me better than that. I'd end up on the front page for killing whoever it was in six months.
"Awww."
"Shut. Up!"
"God, you sound crazy about him."
"I'm something alright." He's such an asshole. I love it.
"I think I need to talk to Sam about that a little more."
Oh, here we go. She's talking to an actress. She doesn't need to pull this shitck on me. And Sam probably wants to go. The guy's a born traveller, this shit doesn't bother him any.
But I can't say that, because if I want them at my wedding, I need to try having tact.
That's hard.
"I feel guilty leaving Julia alone on a holiday. And I hate planes. Plus it might be difficult for Sam with work, and I know I'd have to be in on Monday at the latest...I know these all sound like excuses, but...its mostly the first two."
"You were doing fine up until that last one." It's New York for a few days at the most. They come here, they meet Dylan, they be at my wedding, they go home. It's not like I'm asking them to come on my honeymoon.
"What's Sam said about it?"
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Julia doesn't like baths. She likes to splash. And what's more, she's got the talent that means she can send freakin' buckets through the air practically, and all onto me.
I know this, and yet, when she's playing the tub and starts splashing, I don't stop her. In fact, I'm the one who's stupid enough to splash back, and she's the one who's supposed to be getting wet.
Yeah, I ask for it. Pretty much.
"Okay, we're done now." I got her out of the tub and toweled off, then carried her into her room, ignoring being laughed at. "Let's get you dressed so Daddy can go get toweled off and stop feeling like a wet rat." And then, clean up the water all over the floor.
You'd think, looking at that, we have a telekinetic instead of a pyro like me. But we don't, and the pyro thing when she's two and into causing trouble is more than enough for me.
And luckily we're both pretty sure we never had one of those in the family, so now that we're working on having another one, I'm pretty sure we won't have to deal with that.
I really hate to think what life would be like if Julia was telekinetic. I really really do. Like, I could have nightmares over it if I thought about it too much. That's how much I hate it.
I got Julia dressed and set her down in front of her toys so she could play. Then I kissed her forehead and walked out of her room, leaving the door wide open in case something happened.
"So, who're you talking to?" I ignored the look I was getting from Carly, and went into the closet, getting myself a few towels. Some for me, some for the floor, and one for the carpet outside of the bathroom door, because somehow, that's wet too.
Our daughter is highly freakin' talented. Clearly.
"Stop laughing at me. Your turn is tomorrow."
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I was? I thought for sure that bringing up Sam's work was reaching at something. He doesn't usually let things bother him. Whenever something comes up, he schedules his shoots around it and somehow manages to get everything done ahead of time, or at the very last second. Its useful, but in this case, it makes his job a bad excuse.
And mine was just...incredibly worse.
"What's Sam said about it?"
"You know how he is. He'd go."
I'm not even going to try to cover that one up. Sam wouldn't say no to something like that, especially not if its someone who he considers a friend. If it was Daphne, I'd have a more difficult time trying to persuade him. However, since Gina is the one who's getting married, I'm suddenly the one who needs to be convinced.
I heard Sam walk in and looked up, doing my best to hold in the laughter, but damn, it was hard.
He looks like a drowned rat. And his hair is just...I never thought Sam's head was that flat before.
"So, who're you talking to?"
"Aquaman. He wants his look back." I kept trying to hold it in but..."We should get you a big trident and just go with it."
I mean, it wouldn't be as sexy as Spider-man, but at least the water would look intentional.
"Stop laughing at me. Your turn is tomorrow."
I put my hand over the phone so that Gina wouldn't have to hear it. "All the more reason to make fun of you while I can."
I think that makes sense.
"And you like it when I walk out of the bathroom soaking wet."
Yeah, deny that Sam.
I moved my hand away from the phone and shifted in place, realizing I'd lost my comfy spot somewhere between her being crazy over her fiancee and Sam being a drowned rat.
"Sorry. Julia gave Sam a bath. You might think it would be the other way around, but she's two and he fights back against the splashing."
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That's what I thought. The only real problem is convincing her.
"So, who're you talking to?"
Oh look, it's the man of the hour. Maybe he can help me out and get his girlfriend on a plane so they can be here.
"Aquaman. He wants his look back. We should get you a big trident and just go with it."
"Tridents aren't sexy." Something more skintight and not as lame would be fuckable. I never thought anything about Aquaman was hot. And even though I have no idea what's making her say that, I don't think that's the look for Sam.
"Stop laughing at me. Your turn is tomorrow."
Wow, that's a really domestic conversation. I wonder if we're going to sound like that in a couple of years. Once you get married, you're pretty much fucked, right? But they're not, and they still sound that way.
Shit. I don't want to think about it. I don't think I have it in me to sound like that anyway. And if either of us started sliding on that, we'd yell at the other until it was back to normal again.
That's it, I'm making a fucking pact with Dylan to make sure that never happens.
"Sorry. Julia gave Sam a bath. You might think it would be the other way around, but she's two and he fights back against the splashing."
"Hey, no problem. Sounds like that's entertaining." Really, it does. Sam verses the two year old. Nice little scene.
"Now I get what you mean with Julia and the planes and work," Even though work's a bullshit excuse. "But he can keep you distracted, and Julia's what, two? She's not going to remember in a couple of years that you weren't there for Halloween. And even if she does? I don't think she'll hate you for it."
I'm sure they're doing a great job with theirs, I don't have a hard time seeing either as a good parent, but parents naturally fuck up their kids in other ways. I really don't think this kid's going to resent one Halloween away.
"Plus, you need some time off from motherhood." There's that. "Time to have a little fun, be in a city that isn't LA, and not have to worry all the time. And whoever ends up watching her? You can call." So there you go, Carly.
And even if she argues with that shit, I'm not giving up. She needs to be there.
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"Uh huh." I rolled my eyes and draped a towel over my head as I headed towards our room to grab a pair of my jeans to change into once I was done cleaning everything up.
"And you like it when I walk out of the bathroom soaking wet."
"That's because you look good soaking wet. I, when I'm not in a bathing suit and at the beach, seem to resemble a freakin' drowned rat." I deserve it for starting something with Julia in the first place, but that's not the point. I know I look stupid, she doesn't need to point it out.
I walked in and grabbed a pair of my jeans to change into once I was done cleaning, and walked past Carly again, ignoring how funny she found this. Then I went in the bathroom, and started cleaning.
"Sorry. Julia gave Sam a bath. You might think it would be the other way around, but she's two and he fights back against the splashing."
"She got a bath too!" I yelled from inside the bathroom, and rolled my eyes, getting back to cleaning everything up.
Once I was done, I peeled my shirt off and got out of my jeans, then pulled the new ones on. Then I grabbed all the wet stuff, and carried it over to the washing machine, dropping it all in and starting it.
After that, I headed back into the living room, and watched the look on her face this time. Okay, what's going on now?
"So, really, who is it?"
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"It is." I laughed. "That was what prompted the Aquaman comment. Sam's a much better Spider man."
If Sam heard that, I'm dead. I know its the complete reverse of anything that has ever went down with us before, but I think Sam knowing that I told Gina Taylor that I've gotten him into costume would give him the willpower to kill me.
And yet, I'm too amused to care. Besides, I had to find someone to tell someday. Better Gina than anyone around here, she can't tease him for it on a daily basis. Not that she would in the first place. Gina gets into so many costumes herself--and has probably used a few of them for Dylan's personal enjoyment--that she can't judge him for it.
"She got a bath too!"
"Take the word 'too' off of that sentence and it would have been a success."
"Now I get what you mean with Julia and the planes and work. But he can keep you distracted, and Julia's what, two? She's not going to remember in a couple of years that you weren't there for Halloween. And even if she does? I don't think she'll hate you for it."
"I don't know about that. Kids hold grudges for things like that." They do. That's how they end up on talks shows with bad hair dye crying over how their father didn't love them or their mother didn't breast feed, or both.
"And Julia likes Sam better, so if she's going to hate one of us, its going to be me."
"Plus, you need some time off from motherhood. Time to have a little fun, be in a city that isn't LA, and not have to worry all the time. And whoever ends up watching her? You can call."
"That would be Arianna, who would most likely eat until she was sugar high." I know Arianna is responsible. I know she loves Julia. I know she takes her job as a Godmother very seriously.
But first and foremost, I know that Arianna loves sweets. I picked that up about her the day we met, and its only gotten worse over time.
"So, really, who is it?"
"Gina. She's forcing an RSVP out of me. Sit." Sit and explain to Gina why this whole travelling to New York City thing doesn't work for me.
He knows what I'm like on a plane.
"I want to see you get married. Its the rest of it that has me worried."
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"Gina. She's forcing an RSVP out of me. Sit."
'Forcing' sounds so harsh. I'm being persuasive. I'm not being a bitch about it. I'm not even getting mad. Sure, I'll be pissed if she decides she's not going to go, but I'll be good about it up until that point.
"I want to see you get married. Its the rest of it that has me worried."
"And I don't doubt it," But I'm still not giving up. "But maybe you're just being paranoid. It could go perfectly fine." I say this knowing Sam's the one who's going to have to endure the plane ride with her if she decides to go.
And ontop of that, once we get off the phone, I'll probably stop being the reassuring one, 'cause I'm a good friend like that.
But she wouldn't expect any less of me, so it's not like I care.
"Tell Sam to go grab a phone so we can threeway this and get it all out of the way now." He'll back me up. I've got a horny fiancee probably getting bored waiting for me, so doing this roundabout shit with Carly doesn't work.
"That way you don't have to tell him everything that's going on as you go." Spider man should be more than happy to help out the conversation.
I can't fucking believe she actually got him into something like that. I want a picture. Seriously.
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I've been wondering if she was going to call, or we were going to have to call her. I think if it wasn't for the date and the plane ride, Carly would go in a heartbeat. It's New York, and it's also Gina getting married.
Gina who stabbed Kevin Wheeler in the leg in high school, because he pretty much tried to rape her, and hasn't trusted guys since then. Actually, she really didn't before that, but I think he killed the rest of it.
Plus there's the fact that she's got this thing with playing a part with whoever she's around, and she's an absolute bitch. So some guy actually deciding to marry her? That's unbelievable.
But at the same time, it makes sense. There's supposed to be someone out there for everyone, even Gina. For a while there, we were pretty sure that might have to be a girl someone, but obviously not.
I swear, I have to at least meet this guy. I wonder if he knows that he's in way over his freakin' head on this one.
And if he doesn't, I won't tell him, but I'll definitely be laughing at him during the ceremony. When Gina's not looking. She'd never forgive me if I messed something like this up, and while she lives in New York, I want to try and be good anyway.
"So, are we going?" I think we can. Arianna and Dan can take care of Julia. Arianna's her godmother, and she wouldn't let anything happen to her. Plus if she gets hyper, Dan can cover whatever she's letting go. He's good with that.
And as much as Carly doesn't like it, they're good together. They could take care of Jules for a few days without too much of a problem.
Plus if Carly starts getting paranoid, she can just call. I know I probably will a few times. Arianna, not Dan. If it's Dan, it warrants me getting sarcasm from him. And I have a hard time trying to outdo a guy in law school.
I can admit when I'm beat. Most of the time. Dan knows what he's doing.
"Don't look at me like that. It'll be okay." She's the most scared about the plane ride, I think. Everything else, is secondary, except maybe her missing Julia in the costume she picked out.
She's still got a few years before we have to stop buying the cutesy ones for her, I think we're covered.
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"No. That would give you more power than I want you to have."
I don't like her suggestion. Its bad. It would make me cave and I'm still not all that sure that I want to cave. I want to be here with Julia on Halloween. I want to never get on another plane unless the destination is Fiji. I want Gina to decide to get married in Los Angeles and her sadistic fiance to deal with it.
Why couldn't she have just done that? Her family is here. Her good friend who is afraid of planes is here. No one would expect it to be here. It would be perfect, especially on Halloween. The city is a freak free for all on October thirty first.
"I'm just not comfortable with this."
And that's the honest truth about all of it, I swear. I hate having to be that honest with Gina, but that's it. I'm not comfortable with leaving Julia and going on a plane and torturing myself mid-air.
"So, are we going?"
Does he have to make it worse and ask too? Gina is already on it. I already know I probably owe this to her, and I feel bad enough about it as it is.
"Don't look at me like that. It'll be okay."
The way he says it, I almost believe it.
"Sure it will." I sighed miserably and turned my attention back to the phone. "We're coming. But if something happens I'm blaming you for the rest of your life, which I promptly intend to end the first chance I get."
If I live through the flight that is.
Well, I could always haunt her.
"I hate you both."
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If Sam's sitting right there, and I know he's okay with going, and he's already going to try and convince her it's not as bad as she's making it be, then how does him being on the phone too change a thing?
"I'm just not comfortable with this."
"I get it." I do. I'm not so much of a bitch that I don't understand. I understand completely. But she still needs to be there. And that's just it.
"So, are we going?"
Thank you, Sam.
"Don't look at me like that. It'll be okay."
See? Believe your boyfriend. Go to Gina's wedding. Keep her grounded from all the rampant fucking emotion that'll either piss her off, or make her play Runaway Bride. Keep Daphne from wrecking things like she's so fucking prone to.
It's what you should do. Practically your duty.
"Sure it will."
I think she's beat.
"We're coming. But if something happens I'm blaming you for the rest of your life, which I promptly intend to end the first chance I get."
Victory is beautiful. "Yeah, yeah, whatever." I rolled my eyes, and then smirked. "Would I expect anything less?" Stop complaning. You'll be fine.
"I hate you both."
"Actually, you love him. Me, you can hate, but we're still friends, so you're fucked anyway." I grinned, and then looked up to see Dylan in the kitchen doorway.
And he's doing what passes for a pout with him. Big eyes and all. He got bored.
Shit. I hate it when he looks at me like that.
"What the hell are you pouting for? I said I'd be there in a minute."
"It's been more than a minute."
"Wah." Baby.
"Are they coming, or what?"
"Yeah, they're coming."
"Then get off the fucking phone."
Whiny bastard. Stop looking at me like that. I covered the phone with one hand after shouldering it, and then pointed out of the kitchen with the other. "Go." Be a good dog, and move your ass.
"Are you coming?"
"You won't be if you don't leave me alone." I grinned at the laugh, and then got up from the chair. "Go."
"Fine, whatever, fine."
I waited until he walked out to start talking again, moving my hand away from the phone and taking it off my shoulder. "Men are such babies." Every last one. "I have to go, he's pouting."
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Good. She's caving.
"We're coming. But if something happens I'm blaming you for the rest of your life, which I promptly intend to end the first chance I get."
Mandatory threat. Gina's probably laughing it off. She's not afraid of anyone, even if they can kick her ass. She just doesn't care. I don't know if it's cool or insane to be that fearless.
"I hate you both."
"I love you." I smiled, waiting for her to get off the phone. She does the 'I hate you' thing all the time, and I don't think I've ever once thought she actually meant it.
This whole thing is going to be interesting. The plane ride, meeting up with them, the wedding, all of it. It's a wedding on Halloween, Gina's going to do everything in her power to make it interesting.
And it's not in a church, so she has more to get away with. It's not going to be a wedding so much as a production for her. So it's going to be something.
Hopefully it'll be something that's going to make nails digging into my arm and whining and trying to be comforting and holding and potential near death of stewardesses worth it. Because I know how they get after a guy leaves a bathroom with a girl.
And I think if one of them says the wrong thing, there'll be hell to pay.
But it's New York, so maybe it'll turn out to be worth it.
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"If you would you shouldn't."
She never cares. I threaten, Gina smirks. There is supposed to be more to it than that. She should be afraid. I hope she knows that I really could kick her ass if I wanted to, and I'd do a damn good job of it. Its been a while since I've fought anything human, it would be a nice change of pace for me if the need ever came up.
"Actually, you love him. Me, you can hate, but we're still friends, so you're fucked anyway."
"No, in this moment, I hate you. And I'm always fucked anyway."
And Sam had better not say a damn word about that one. I know. I don't need to hear it because I know.
"Are they coming, or what?"
"Yeah, they're coming."
"Then get off the fucking phone."
"The fiance wants you." I laughed. This guy sounds like a piece of work. He has to be if he's marrying Gina. She wouldn't marry just any man, director or not. She'd find the must fucked up irritable asshole she possibly could, and she'd love him and hate him for it.
He's probably perfect for her.
"I love you."
"Shut up."
...Okay, that was weird, but we're nothing like Gina and her fiance. It was just a moment. They probably do it twenty four hours a day. One moment isn't bad.
I think.
"Men are such babies. I have to go, he's pouting."
"Okay, I'll call you in a couple of days after we get everything set up."
I can't believe I agreed to this.
I hung up and looked over at Sam, who seemed pretty damn happy with himself.
"You're evil." I grabbed a pillow and hit him with it. "And you're being nice to me on the plane."
Or I can and will hurt him. I'm not about to leave Julia fatherless, but he'll pay for it in his own way.
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"Sure thing. Talk to you then." I hung up, debated making Dylan wait another five minutes while I did whatever, and then decided not to.
He's waited long enough. He's been a good boy. And I'm sort of bored with making him wait, even if it is fun to make him pissy.
I walked into the bedroom, and smirked. "Still bored?"
"Well, I was really close to just amusing myself since you were just so busy and all, but then I decided it'd be better just to wait."
"I should make you wait more."
"No, you shouldn't. Because that's only a fun way to fuck around for so long. So we should try another way."
"We sh--" Asshole! Don't kiss me when I'm making my fucking sarcastic comeback! You know better than to cut me off by now, you dick!
... Fuck it. I'll say it later.
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