[BLOG] Crazy little thing called... masturbation?
Oh my GOD, Blaine said he masturbates! He actually said it, and what the hell was my brain, and well, my entire body, supposed to automatically jump to? It's not like I'm not already on a one-way ticket to hell though, right? I mean, I'm a gay Atheist who likes Lady Gaga and laughs at Jesus jokes. I think I already have a one-way ticket on the journey to the great tropics below, so why not just add to the punch?
So, yes, the first thing that came to mind was images on my boyfriend sprawled naked on that very bed I was sitting on, doing the most delicious things to himself with those talented hands. Which was all well and good. The subject of conversation had come up. Come up. LOL. Oh for god's sake, clearly my brain thinks I'm still twelve. Next I'll be laughing at the word 'balls' and making fart jokes. I need to get my act together, because this isn't good. How am I supposed to continue to be fabulous when Blaine is talking about masturbation, and I can't stop thinking about Blaine masturbating, which makes me want to do it too? I mean, I do it. Of course I do. I'm a normal and healthy teenager with urges. A lot of urges. A hell of a lot of urges. More and more lately. Like, every time I let my mind wander.
Make that First Class ticket to hell. I am so glad Dad bought the line I fed him about thigh-length jackets and sweaters being this season's latest trend...
And now I need to go and do Blainework. I mean homeBlaine. Crap! Screw it. I need to go take a long shower and try to tap into unhappy thoughts about smashed badgers, Mr Schue doing the Full Monty, and Finn in a g-string.
This is what my life has come to.
So, yes, the first thing that came to mind was images on my boyfriend sprawled naked on that very bed I was sitting on, doing the most delicious things to himself with those talented hands. Which was all well and good. The subject of conversation had come up. Come up. LOL. Oh for god's sake, clearly my brain thinks I'm still twelve. Next I'll be laughing at the word 'balls' and making fart jokes. I need to get my act together, because this isn't good. How am I supposed to continue to be fabulous when Blaine is talking about masturbation, and I can't stop thinking about Blaine masturbating, which makes me want to do it too? I mean, I do it. Of course I do. I'm a normal and healthy teenager with urges. A lot of urges. A hell of a lot of urges. More and more lately. Like, every time I let my mind wander.
Make that First Class ticket to hell. I am so glad Dad bought the line I fed him about thigh-length jackets and sweaters being this season's latest trend...
And now I need to go and do Blainework. I mean homeBlaine. Crap! Screw it. I need to go take a long shower and try to tap into unhappy thoughts about smashed badgers, Mr Schue doing the Full Monty, and Finn in a g-string.
This is what my life has come to.