(no subject)
I cannot even begin to tell you how incredibly AMAZING I feel right now!
I wandered over to Mellby today around one, knowing Daniel would be there so I could say hi to him, and so see if Carrie's room was open. He asked if I had been to the 48 hours of prayer yet and I said I didn't know about it. So I went in for about an hour and it was incredibly serene. I then came out and ran lines with him, though I know I should've done homework/practiced voice/studied blahblahblah. Then I went into the chapel for another hour before dinner to do some homework. After dinner Daniel had a rotation shift so I ran lines with him again and afterwards we watched a movie. I finally was just like 'Okay, so what I wanted to talk to you about is' and it wasn't weird! I told him that I put him on a pedestal and it wasn't fair to him and it was unhealthy for me and apologized for making the language factor about me. It's not about me. It's about him and his heart. All I can do is love him- as a friend people, come on! I also told him that I know he doesn't have feelings for me and that I know he knows I still have feelings for him, but that I can get over that because what really matters is that we're friends. I told him the only reason I brought it up in the Spring was because I didn't want to miss out if it was something, but it isn't [at least for now, I don't anticipate anything and will not focus on it- but wherever God takes me, that's where I want to be and Lord knows I haven't a clue where that is] and so all I want to do is have a fun, healthy, functional friendship and that he had once said he considered me a best friend and that I hoped we would get to spend more time together and continue in that. I said I didn't want it to be awkward, he agreed, and we smiled and then we began to joke around. It was such an amazing time to spend with him, I'm SO grateful.
Then he had offered to cover another friend's shift from 1-2 but he wanted to go back into the chapel again, so I joined him.
As soon as I got into that room, I felt absolutely FILLED TO THE BRIM with a passion and enthusiasm. I began to pray [I have to write down my prayers or else I get really distracted] and the words just were flying out of me. It's as though God's spirit just flooded me and needed to pour out. There is paper all over the walls to write on and words of love and excitement and truth and promise just flew out of me. The Lord physically brought me to my knees and I wept with joy. I am so filled with energy, I have been running around and moving my arms and jumping up and down the with brilliance of my God's love and glory! I just want to shout his praises from every pore of my body!
I never want this feeling to end, this feeling of complete comfort and trust and fullfillment, a feeling that only God can give.
it's every tribe, every tongue, every nation
Glory, Hallelujah! He reigns!
I wandered over to Mellby today around one, knowing Daniel would be there so I could say hi to him, and so see if Carrie's room was open. He asked if I had been to the 48 hours of prayer yet and I said I didn't know about it. So I went in for about an hour and it was incredibly serene. I then came out and ran lines with him, though I know I should've done homework/practiced voice/studied blahblahblah. Then I went into the chapel for another hour before dinner to do some homework. After dinner Daniel had a rotation shift so I ran lines with him again and afterwards we watched a movie. I finally was just like 'Okay, so what I wanted to talk to you about is' and it wasn't weird! I told him that I put him on a pedestal and it wasn't fair to him and it was unhealthy for me and apologized for making the language factor about me. It's not about me. It's about him and his heart. All I can do is love him- as a friend people, come on! I also told him that I know he doesn't have feelings for me and that I know he knows I still have feelings for him, but that I can get over that because what really matters is that we're friends. I told him the only reason I brought it up in the Spring was because I didn't want to miss out if it was something, but it isn't [at least for now, I don't anticipate anything and will not focus on it- but wherever God takes me, that's where I want to be and Lord knows I haven't a clue where that is] and so all I want to do is have a fun, healthy, functional friendship and that he had once said he considered me a best friend and that I hoped we would get to spend more time together and continue in that. I said I didn't want it to be awkward, he agreed, and we smiled and then we began to joke around. It was such an amazing time to spend with him, I'm SO grateful.
Then he had offered to cover another friend's shift from 1-2 but he wanted to go back into the chapel again, so I joined him.
As soon as I got into that room, I felt absolutely FILLED TO THE BRIM with a passion and enthusiasm. I began to pray [I have to write down my prayers or else I get really distracted] and the words just were flying out of me. It's as though God's spirit just flooded me and needed to pour out. There is paper all over the walls to write on and words of love and excitement and truth and promise just flew out of me. The Lord physically brought me to my knees and I wept with joy. I am so filled with energy, I have been running around and moving my arms and jumping up and down the with brilliance of my God's love and glory! I just want to shout his praises from every pore of my body!
I never want this feeling to end, this feeling of complete comfort and trust and fullfillment, a feeling that only God can give.
it's every tribe, every tongue, every nation
Glory, Hallelujah! He reigns!