a piece of the genius that is my Qur'an paper!

[groupceo]

Ultimately, God wishes to be joined in the afterlife by all of his children, and thus shall give them countless chances to redeem themselves, leading them along like blind, decrepit monkeys if that is what is necessary. The dualism of God is seen clearly, on one hand infinitely patient, serene, forgiving, and on the other wrathful, punishing, and slightly vindictive. God is almost like a controlling boyfriend: he loves you completely, crushing you with the strength of his emotion, always trying to keep you safe (even if that means locking you in a closet and never allowing anyone to look at you but him), but the moment you step out of line-BAM! Tossed down the stairs. Only in God’s case, the stairs go straight to Hell. And then, when the morning light shines upon your broken jaw, God gently strokes his fingers across it and whispers, “I forgive you. Come home, baby. I only hit you because I love you.” (And I am almost positive this is where the Jews get the Doctrine of Suffering from: We know God loves us because we are miserable.) God just wants his flock to come home.

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What do you guys think? A material?