christmas rant

[groundbeeftaco]

So I'll post about Lissy's 26th birthday party later. But I hate Christmas. The actual day sucks. I hate it. The only things I like about this stupid season are things we don't do. Things like putting up a tree, doing lights, and sending Christmas cards. My dad calls me selfish for all these things because I don't consider other people. I hate that we have to go to a hotel because of he has church services all night, but I don't say anything. I hate that my Grandmother invited my sisters boyfriend for dinner, knowing completely well that he doesn't like me very much and that he makes fun of me because he thinks its entertaining. I hate that I don't get the option to go to my friends houses for Christmas, even though they invited me. It's the fact they don't ask how I feel. Not that they do these things, because I understand that's life and I have to live with it, but that they don't take into consideration how I feel, or what I think. If my Grandmother had said to me "I invited Alex over for Christmas supper, how do you feel about that?" I wouldn't have said that he shouldn't come, because that's not my place, but I would have said that I wasn't going to be very happy. She could have figured out a way, we could have figured out a way, that I would have a good time. Like letting me cook, so I could be away from him but still involved. My dad also took the presents from his parents to her house (she is my maternal Grandmother, and his parent's live so far away it doesn't really make sense to ditch her for Christmas even though I would like to) so I could open them there. I don't want to open them there. I don't like presents in general, but I like to open the ones I get from my favorite people in the whole wide world alone, because I like to share that moment with myself and then call them. If you were an elderly women who got her young adult grandchildren things like chocolate and $25 gift cards to Old Navy, how would you feel if you saw your grandchildren open a gift from their other grandparents that was $100 in cash, plus other gift cards and various knitted things? I would imagine not pretty good. It's just absurd to me. If I hate this holiday so much, which I know they know I do (because I say it every year), I should have the option to take the things that are mine and do them how I want. I don't look forward to my dinner of KFC Chicken later in a hotel room alone. I don't look forward to waking up god awful early to go to a church where I don't even know half the people. I don't look forward to being alone.

/rant

but I did call her a bitch on Monday, and I hate that I did that.