i wish i was a tree...
last night i left my apartment not knowing where i was going or if i was coming back. something led me to our sanctuary. i stumbled down the snowy hill and across a field of slush, ice, dirt, mud, filth. i couldn't see and i was freezing. the pond was frozen and i imagined skating on the thin ice. instead i just decided to walk around it to see if things looked any different from the other side. the trees were creaking and moaning; they were talking to me. it amazes me how strong trees are. they can live longer than a human--outside, through the winter, alone. their wood is hard and i found myself admiring the natural strength of all the trees that line our frozen pond. i want to reach toward the sky like them, but i am feeling very grounded, frozen, and alone. even the lone tree stands strong.
i sit on a bench. i haven't slept since last year and at some point between sighs i pass out. my dream is a vision of myself. i see myself. everything is fine. my cheeks are red. my face feels wet. i hold my hand out and catch the first one that falls. oddly enough, i wasn't startled by the fact that i was crying tears of blood. when my well dried out i woke up and decided to return to my apartment..and save the ice skating for another cold night.
i sit on a bench. i haven't slept since last year and at some point between sighs i pass out. my dream is a vision of myself. i see myself. everything is fine. my cheeks are red. my face feels wet. i hold my hand out and catch the first one that falls. oddly enough, i wasn't startled by the fact that i was crying tears of blood. when my well dried out i woke up and decided to return to my apartment..and save the ice skating for another cold night.