(no subject)
Sorry I have not updated in a while. I do come one here and read your entries. I just have nothing really worth saying. I have gone to a few parties, and I have been pretty good. Thats about it. Nothing important.
However, last night around midnight,still trying to sleep, I had an epiphany about myself. Half of me still lives in the past, and the other part is trying to live in the future. There is no present. I want very badly to go into the future, and live for what is now, not longing for what used to be. I know you have to let go of the past, to enjoy the future, but I am not letting go. Of anything. I want to let go, I have tried. But maybe it is the past that wont let go of ME. I dont know what I am saying, and I dont really understand myself anymore. Nothing makes sense. I just dont know how or when I will accept the fact that things are different and to be completely happy with things.
on a happy note, I am having another wonderful phone conversation....
However, last night around midnight,still trying to sleep, I had an epiphany about myself. Half of me still lives in the past, and the other part is trying to live in the future. There is no present. I want very badly to go into the future, and live for what is now, not longing for what used to be. I know you have to let go of the past, to enjoy the future, but I am not letting go. Of anything. I want to let go, I have tried. But maybe it is the past that wont let go of ME. I dont know what I am saying, and I dont really understand myself anymore. Nothing makes sense. I just dont know how or when I will accept the fact that things are different and to be completely happy with things.
on a happy note, I am having another wonderful phone conversation....