Uh...Life sucks?

[grotesque_slant]

One problem solved.

Another issue pops up.

I overcome a HUGE mental unsablity that's been a problem my entire life.

Then someone can so easily go back and rip open all those scars again.

I'm questioning that friendship.

I wanna know where I rank with that person.

I'm scared though.

I don't wanna be hurt again.

Comments

[grotesque_slant]

*blinks* Actually...
Well I wrote this after my little mental break down and I was "angry at you". It felt like you pretty much stabbed me in the back. Because well, it was like your hiding things from me. That was at the time. When I wasn't freaking out and calmed down I know you didn't do that.
I'm still upset over the situation for different reasons. Upset, not angry. Two very different emotions.
Then you told me you were planning on telling me but honestly, when were you gonna do that? Unless a situation like this came up, I'm pretty positive you'd never tell me. Then there's some other "secrets" when you told, I found out in a way that makes me feel like we aren't close friend, and I wasn't good enough or important enough to know. I felt that I deserved to know before the general public, and I know a bunch of people that knew before me and the general public. I'm just hoping I'm more than just general public and not just some person.

Sooo yeah. That's how I feel...Don't take this the wrong way, I'm not attacking you and saying your a horrible friend, besides this insecurity? your a wonderful friend. That's why I'm kind of scared to bring it up...I don't wanna start drama or make you feel crappy. I love you a lot and it makes me upset that you might not consider me a close friend. That's all really... Sorry, I know it's kind of stupid, but yeah...I'm emotional and annoying like this ^^'

...Wow I wrote alot. Heh Sorry...I'll shutup now... ^^'
Luffles you!

[hostileneko]

i wasn't hiding that from you megan... i was just so caught up in other things at the time, that i totally forgot about it b/c i wasn't to proud of that situation. And to be honest, yeah i wasn't probably gonna tell you, i wasn't to happy with what happened, i was ashamed and embarrassed and didn't want to tell you b/c i didn't want you looking dwn on me and being angry at me, b/c you are my world babe, you are one of my closest friends, i've told you things i don't normally enjoy sharing with the rest of the world, i look to you for all my guidance, i trust you and your judgement b4 neone elses, including my own!!! i was upset upon reading that comment, actually it pissed me off in ways you couldn't believe for multiple reasons, one being that in a way, you had hurt me, hurt me deep and bad. to know that you think such badly of me, and think such things like that, hurt me. i'm sorry if this seems all weird and what not, but i feel the need to explain this all to you b4 you go and read my emotional break dwn and think i was 'attacking' you. b/c i wasn't, you were not the main cause of that rant, it's weird, but i dun really fewl like getting into that. please, understand, you have become so close to me in the last year, you are my savior, and most of the tyme my shoulder to lean on (even though you may not know it at tymes)

I love you a whole lot my sex panther, i think WE need to talk, just you and i, i see a dinner date coming... we'll talk about it later... see ya l8r

Luffles you bak

[grotesque_slant]

What to say...

I'm uncorfortable saying anything on this subject on LJ. If you wanna sort this out it best to do it in person so the dinner would be lovely, even if it was just hang, I wouldn't mind.
I dunno if you wanna still sort it out though but I'd just thought I'd just put it out there. Honestly, what you said in that post hurt alot and still does. What you said here though in the comment means so much to me, I really wish somehow I could express how happy it makes me but I can't find words strong enough. I can't tell you enough how sorry I am that my last comment hurt you, it was never my intention. Just for the record, I'd never look down on you, or think anything badly of you. No matter what descions you make, I'll always support you. I hope you remember that, m'dear.

Now it's time for me to collapes and get some rest.
Loves you lots ♥