(no subject)
Two entries in one day! I must be PMSing and emo. I think I made a rash, stupid decision to go to Los Angeles for TFA. I keep reading their website and learning about their different placement regions.
Had I gone to Baltimore, I would have gotten my masters from Johns Hopkins instead of Loyola Marymount, been somewhere that snows and rains, made a lot more money/had to spend a lot less to survive, tried something new instead of something comfortable, and been farther from home.
When I decided where I wanted to be, staying close to home was important to me. I've been here since I was 4 or 5, it's hard to leave home. Now, I'm wondering if it would have been better to go far away. My mom feels better with me closer and in a less crime-ridden city, I suppose. My mother's sanity. That's gotta count for a lot.
It's not THAT important where I get my degree from... right? Yet, I still can't kick this idea of having to go to a prestigious university. I am a stuck up prick with myself.
Sun is OK. I can't drive well, and I would drive worse in snow.
Money's not everything, and it builds character to struggle. Maybe I will know more what my students are going through.
But really, I am kicking myself for taking the easy route and not pushing my boundaries. I wasn't even planning on going to LA, Berkeley and Stanford were my first choices. But that was just too expensive and I wouldn't be in the classroom soon enough. Too bad I had to figure that out after spending tons of money to fly to Cali to take a stupid test. I chose L.A. because I had that test under my belt, it wasn't far from home, LMU was better than the CSU's I'd be going to in the Bay Area, and I knew a couple people there.
Berkeley and Stanford clouded my judgment, but hindsight is 20/20.
I will be OK, and I need to stop worrying about things that could have been and start worrying about things that will be.
Had I gone to Baltimore, I would have gotten my masters from Johns Hopkins instead of Loyola Marymount, been somewhere that snows and rains, made a lot more money/had to spend a lot less to survive, tried something new instead of something comfortable, and been farther from home.
When I decided where I wanted to be, staying close to home was important to me. I've been here since I was 4 or 5, it's hard to leave home. Now, I'm wondering if it would have been better to go far away. My mom feels better with me closer and in a less crime-ridden city, I suppose. My mother's sanity. That's gotta count for a lot.
It's not THAT important where I get my degree from... right? Yet, I still can't kick this idea of having to go to a prestigious university. I am a stuck up prick with myself.
Sun is OK. I can't drive well, and I would drive worse in snow.
Money's not everything, and it builds character to struggle. Maybe I will know more what my students are going through.
But really, I am kicking myself for taking the easy route and not pushing my boundaries. I wasn't even planning on going to LA, Berkeley and Stanford were my first choices. But that was just too expensive and I wouldn't be in the classroom soon enough. Too bad I had to figure that out after spending tons of money to fly to Cali to take a stupid test. I chose L.A. because I had that test under my belt, it wasn't far from home, LMU was better than the CSU's I'd be going to in the Bay Area, and I knew a couple people there.
Berkeley and Stanford clouded my judgment, but hindsight is 20/20.
I will be OK, and I need to stop worrying about things that could have been and start worrying about things that will be.