Death
I have gone so many years without death being much of a part of my life. yes, I lost my step-grandparents...but they never really considered me their grandchild, and the favor that rested upon my stepbrother proved that. My Grandma's aunt too. but I was only ten and didn't really know Aunt Emma that well.
This past couple of months it seems death has surrounded me, especially this last couple of weeks. Each week I am finding more death touching my life. First was Jessica's sudden death, and my first funeral. Then Melinda's miscarriage. Then Grandma. Finding out an old family friend only has days to live from the cancer that is destroying his body. And today, a young woman from the Vineyard, not that much older than me. A beautiful woman who so didn't believe in going into debt that she may not have had treatments that could have saved her.
I have never been surrounded by so much death at once. It hurts...and I am so sad I don't even feel like crying. it's beyond that. It's just this empty place in me that aches.
I just want to go home and retreat from the world for a week. Have time to deal with this before anything else can come in...
This past couple of months it seems death has surrounded me, especially this last couple of weeks. Each week I am finding more death touching my life. First was Jessica's sudden death, and my first funeral. Then Melinda's miscarriage. Then Grandma. Finding out an old family friend only has days to live from the cancer that is destroying his body. And today, a young woman from the Vineyard, not that much older than me. A beautiful woman who so didn't believe in going into debt that she may not have had treatments that could have saved her.
I have never been surrounded by so much death at once. It hurts...and I am so sad I don't even feel like crying. it's beyond that. It's just this empty place in me that aches.
I just want to go home and retreat from the world for a week. Have time to deal with this before anything else can come in...