It's the most stressful time of the year...
This time of year sucks. Finals loom, it's the "holiday season" and family issues abound. And this year, not only do I have finals, I have papers as well. *sigh*
Also, Jenn and I had a bad night. It was weird. A feeling we both never felt before. We got onto the topic of guns. Jenn grew up in the country where guns were the norm, whereas I grew up in the city with parents who didn't allow us to own any guns - not even a super soaker. So, during this moment of sharing we talked about raising our kids and whether or not we would allow them (on a purely theoretical level) to play with fake guns - from water guns to BB guns etc... I have never touched a gun, fired a gun, held a bullet - scratch that. I did fire a musket when I was on a girl scout trip in KY, but do muskets count? Anyway, I get the shivers walking through a sporting goods store and or seeing ads on TV or in the paper for the sale of guns. I don't care if it is a hunting rifle or an AK-47, I don't want to associate with it at all. Jenn on the other hand is fine with letting a kid play with a BB gun so long as it's under adult supervision, and doesn't mind the idea of a super-soaker. After that, we felt very distant from each other. It was weird - there was this negative vibe surrounding us and I eventually left the room to let Jenn fall asleep while I escaped the weird feeling. Jenn gets freaked out easily when we have disagreements, and I wonder if I am just more receptive to the negative vibes she gets (lately I feel like I am a radar able to pick up the slightest amount of negative energy) and I wonder if this was just me being very aware and conscious of her insecurities. I have no doubt that Jenn and I will be able to work through this, especially something so small and insignificant.
Also, I have found that as I have written my literature review and done more and more reading on sex work in this country and in the world, I am increasingly for the decriminalization/regulation of sex workers. I am currently seeking an internship opportunity to spend my summer interning in some legal capacity or otherwise at a 501(c)(3) like HIPS of PENet, organizations that support this type of legislation. In order to fulfill this, I would have to go to DC or to San Fran to do this type of work, meaning I would have to come up with some kind of grant work. There is an MJF opportunity available but students vote on what they want the money to go to, and given the negative stigma and attitudes people have about sex work/prostitution, I am concerned that I wouldn't be able to do this. Again, - insert hefty sigh, it seems to remote a possibility. Most people I know already have their summer plans in order, while I remain clueless. Plus, spending the summer away from Jenn blew and I am not sure I want to do that again.
Ha, I am working on being more optimistic....it's obviously not working. I should work on that.
Also, Jenn and I had a bad night. It was weird. A feeling we both never felt before. We got onto the topic of guns. Jenn grew up in the country where guns were the norm, whereas I grew up in the city with parents who didn't allow us to own any guns - not even a super soaker. So, during this moment of sharing we talked about raising our kids and whether or not we would allow them (on a purely theoretical level) to play with fake guns - from water guns to BB guns etc... I have never touched a gun, fired a gun, held a bullet - scratch that. I did fire a musket when I was on a girl scout trip in KY, but do muskets count? Anyway, I get the shivers walking through a sporting goods store and or seeing ads on TV or in the paper for the sale of guns. I don't care if it is a hunting rifle or an AK-47, I don't want to associate with it at all. Jenn on the other hand is fine with letting a kid play with a BB gun so long as it's under adult supervision, and doesn't mind the idea of a super-soaker. After that, we felt very distant from each other. It was weird - there was this negative vibe surrounding us and I eventually left the room to let Jenn fall asleep while I escaped the weird feeling. Jenn gets freaked out easily when we have disagreements, and I wonder if I am just more receptive to the negative vibes she gets (lately I feel like I am a radar able to pick up the slightest amount of negative energy) and I wonder if this was just me being very aware and conscious of her insecurities. I have no doubt that Jenn and I will be able to work through this, especially something so small and insignificant.
Also, I have found that as I have written my literature review and done more and more reading on sex work in this country and in the world, I am increasingly for the decriminalization/regulation of sex workers. I am currently seeking an internship opportunity to spend my summer interning in some legal capacity or otherwise at a 501(c)(3) like HIPS of PENet, organizations that support this type of legislation. In order to fulfill this, I would have to go to DC or to San Fran to do this type of work, meaning I would have to come up with some kind of grant work. There is an MJF opportunity available but students vote on what they want the money to go to, and given the negative stigma and attitudes people have about sex work/prostitution, I am concerned that I wouldn't be able to do this. Again, - insert hefty sigh, it seems to remote a possibility. Most people I know already have their summer plans in order, while I remain clueless. Plus, spending the summer away from Jenn blew and I am not sure I want to do that again.
Ha, I am working on being more optimistic....it's obviously not working. I should work on that.