(no subject)

Sep 25, 2004 21:34

so not much has been going on lately.. another hurricane is coming. jeanne or something like that. I don't even feel like i'm really a senior.. i feel like i'll just be in highschool forever. but the slow and painful realization that i have to get off my lazy ass and start applying for college and making decisions that could change the rest of my life is something I just don't want to deal with. i am planning on going to UCF, to double major in music performance and education (only a few course differences between the 2.. so why not.) and college is like the scariest place in the world to me. i remember how scared i was to come to high school when i was in 8th grade and how i just wanted to be a faggy little middle schooler forever, when things were just simple and there was really no responsibility. the older i get and the more things that happen in my life (in any life) the more things happen and the older you become. some day it really seems like maybe you're getting younger. but there's also days when you feel like you have to grow up 10 years older. i want to be able to be a kid forever, i remember being 13/14 and wanting to grow up so fast, like yeah man i want my liscense so i could drive around and be cool all the time. yea its cool, until you have to start paying for gas and insurance (i don't pay for either, which will prolly end up biting me in the ass later) or getting into an accident (yup i've been in 2) and getting a shitty job that takes up your time. it's so weird... thinking about college. i look at my parents and see how unhappy they are some times.. my parents aren't even like married anymore.. and that is something i am deathly afraid of. i feel like next year i'm ganna be let out of my shell and as a new born like chick or something, havent ever seen the world in such a way that responsibility belongs to me and me only. ah depresing. can't think about it. i have straight a's on my progress report.. cool. bands a lot better than last year, we have the whole closer on the show as of this morning (but i never said it was good. lol) and i got to hang out with kyle today after rehersal. it was fun =) but now i am so tired and this hurricane is starting to effect my tv...(stupid ass satillites) and i'm getting sad that i might not be able to watch all of O'Grady. i think it's raining now..?

O'Grady!! *"So Beth, are you still ugly?"*

i<3kyle =)
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