one saaad puppy who cant feel half of her lip....
well..i stayed home today...but i did NOT have a good day. I got up early to do my hw and my mom told me i should probably go try n start my car since she was going to leave, so i was like alright...so i go out to start it and it doesnt start (it didnt start yesterday after school either thats y she told me to try it) and so she bitches bcuz she told me i shouldve done it the other day....when i didnt. Then, me n her get in this blow out, because she tries to drive jonathan's car so that i can drive the durango to school and that is making funny noises, so she tells me to try n find a ride...and im like well its kinda late now mom..and how am i going to get home after school? and so shes all bitchy and we have a blow out and i yell that i really dont care anymore... and shes like well u should blah blah blah and i call matt and tell him whats up...i start to cry cuz...after i yell, i have so much built up emotion that i cant help it... then, my mom came up and banged on the door saying we should go try n jump it and bring it to the dealer and im like mom i really dont have the time to do this im going to be late for school blah blah blah....and meanwhile..liberty wont eat and she cant even move around anymore... :( so i get the car to start and mom says i dont have to go to school since i have to get the battery and watch over liberty and im getting surgery at 3..so theres no point. So anyways, i go get the battery changed ... when i get home i cant find liberty so i have to go around trying to find her...i find her next to the house and i have to drag her in bcuz she wont move...then i talk online w/ matt cuz he got a ticket and only ended up taking a test for like 15 minutes and so he was home...brought up some emotional stuff, but thats ok cuz its a good thing we can talk about that kinda stuff. then..my mom got home and i went in for the surgery...i wasnt out for it at all...just kinda felt like i took a nap er something, and i could feel the shots n everything...eeee it makes me sick to my stomach when i think about it...i come home..matt comes over and i hug him forever...i just felt like i wanted to cry all day and i had a horrible horrible day, that i never wanted to let him go :( i missed him so much and ive just been so emotional today...i guess its cuz ill be on my period soon but i dunno. i really really miss him i wish that he could just hold me forever bcuz i really need him right now...he makes me feel better. anyways...he brought me coffee ice cream :) and a card that made me cry it was so sweet, he totally made my day so much happier :))) i just feel so lucky to have him some times, i will always keep that card and hold it close to my heart because that is the sweetest thing a guy has ever done for me. then i come back inside...liberty isnt eating still..im really worried, i fed her chicken and she ate that..but she wouldnt even get up for chicken, i had to feed her it...which if you know liberty, she'll always get up for food, no matter where it is...i love her to death...i dont want her to die, i know shes a dog, but ive grown up with her, and shes been there for me forever, i treated her like a sister throughout the 12 years shes been here, i just hope shes not in pain, cuz out of everything i would never want that on her. its really hard for me, when people die...even though ive dealt with my grandparents dying...its just really hard. I dont usually like change anyways...but the fact of her never being able to come back kills me inside, i think im going to sleep with her tonite, just in case something happens. well...im still really emotional..but it helped to get a lot of that out. i know things will get better, and i know things could be a lot worse...i just want hugs :(