(no subject)
Please take like four to eight steps back, and just examine what I'm doing.
Not doing, thinking, my thought process, which is way beyond anything I want to give my self credit for.
When did I start thinking I could die tomorrow so I needed to hurry up and do all the things I don't have time to
and forget the day-to-day things I am suppose to.
Like showering or studying or sleeping.
I always remember to eat. And drink. I drink too much. I talk about sex and shitting, but I don't tell anyone how much I love them, at least not in the way I should, which would guarantee them remembering me with appreciation when we all move away.
Whatever health I still had is gone.
She's by my side day and night and while everything is real and sincere, we are using each other as safety nets. We knit backup nets in bed. It's what we're suppose to do but sometimes I worry we'll be too dependent and only have each other with the exception of one night stands. I've always thought she was much prettier and more put together than me. I still do.
If I calm down and recollect I might lose everything. Even her.
But I'm so tired and I've done this all before.
Not doing, thinking, my thought process, which is way beyond anything I want to give my self credit for.
When did I start thinking I could die tomorrow so I needed to hurry up and do all the things I don't have time to
and forget the day-to-day things I am suppose to.
Like showering or studying or sleeping.
I always remember to eat. And drink. I drink too much. I talk about sex and shitting, but I don't tell anyone how much I love them, at least not in the way I should, which would guarantee them remembering me with appreciation when we all move away.
Whatever health I still had is gone.
She's by my side day and night and while everything is real and sincere, we are using each other as safety nets. We knit backup nets in bed. It's what we're suppose to do but sometimes I worry we'll be too dependent and only have each other with the exception of one night stands. I've always thought she was much prettier and more put together than me. I still do.
If I calm down and recollect I might lose everything. Even her.
But I'm so tired and I've done this all before.