Love is a many splendored thing...
I've only loved 2 guys in my life. Loved as in, I'd do anything for them. I guess that's good for being only 24.
One was this bittersweet thing that never really worked out, or never really began or ended for that matter. It's hard to explain it I guess, nothing ever really happened, but we both felt this "thing" between us. I can't really speak for him, but it was the first and most true form of love I've ever felt. It happened before I knew what I was feeling. Before I knew that the "nervous enough to throw up while I'm around him, but always wanting him around and missing him if he wasn't" feeling was called love.
With the other guy I loved, the love didn't feel this way. It was more of a gradual type of love. It's even harder to describe this kind of love, 'cause well, it doesn't seem like it ever should have been. This love didn't strike me as fast and as furious as the other kind of love. This one was a deeper more intimate love that I've never felt with anyone else before. I had to really work for this love, but the feeling when I had it was amazing to say the least.
I have now come close to the first kind of love with one other person, but it's not the same feeling as before. No the second time around feeling this kind of "sick" love is scary, hopeful, and well, just really scary to me. I think it's so scary 'cause I actually know what it is this time. I don't know? I'm so very confused right now. I think in order to be with someone, I mean really be with someone, you have to have this "sick" kind of love first, with every intention of one day having that second very intimate kind of love.
There are a lot of things I want in my life, and it's hard for me to see where things will head in my life when I'm with someone else in their world constantly. I need to learn to run with what I want and let the someone I'm with follow, which they would if they really loved me. This is a big thing for me, 'cause I'm always wanting to do things for other people and be there for everyone else. This time I need to be here for me, do things for me. This time I need to be stronger with my own feelings and not push back my own goals to help someone else. In this venture, I'm sure to find someone who'll love me both ways and be there for me always. At least I hope so.
My Valentine this year is myself, followed by a close 2nd who makes me feel all "sick" inside. ;) I love all you crazy people who find it in your hearts to deal with and listen to the wackiness that is me. I can honestly say with sweet tears running down my cheeks, that I've got the greatest, most amazing group of friends a girl could ask for. Thanks! <3
One was this bittersweet thing that never really worked out, or never really began or ended for that matter. It's hard to explain it I guess, nothing ever really happened, but we both felt this "thing" between us. I can't really speak for him, but it was the first and most true form of love I've ever felt. It happened before I knew what I was feeling. Before I knew that the "nervous enough to throw up while I'm around him, but always wanting him around and missing him if he wasn't" feeling was called love.
With the other guy I loved, the love didn't feel this way. It was more of a gradual type of love. It's even harder to describe this kind of love, 'cause well, it doesn't seem like it ever should have been. This love didn't strike me as fast and as furious as the other kind of love. This one was a deeper more intimate love that I've never felt with anyone else before. I had to really work for this love, but the feeling when I had it was amazing to say the least.
I have now come close to the first kind of love with one other person, but it's not the same feeling as before. No the second time around feeling this kind of "sick" love is scary, hopeful, and well, just really scary to me. I think it's so scary 'cause I actually know what it is this time. I don't know? I'm so very confused right now. I think in order to be with someone, I mean really be with someone, you have to have this "sick" kind of love first, with every intention of one day having that second very intimate kind of love.
There are a lot of things I want in my life, and it's hard for me to see where things will head in my life when I'm with someone else in their world constantly. I need to learn to run with what I want and let the someone I'm with follow, which they would if they really loved me. This is a big thing for me, 'cause I'm always wanting to do things for other people and be there for everyone else. This time I need to be here for me, do things for me. This time I need to be stronger with my own feelings and not push back my own goals to help someone else. In this venture, I'm sure to find someone who'll love me both ways and be there for me always. At least I hope so.
My Valentine this year is myself, followed by a close 2nd who makes me feel all "sick" inside. ;) I love all you crazy people who find it in your hearts to deal with and listen to the wackiness that is me. I can honestly say with sweet tears running down my cheeks, that I've got the greatest, most amazing group of friends a girl could ask for. Thanks! <3