Here comes the sun...
I wish I could describe the hell I've been putting myself through lately.
Today was full of distracting myself. And forcing food down my own throat just to keep my body happy despite the nausea I've been creating for myself.
I have nothing, absolutely nothing, to be upset about. And that's the thing, I'm not upset. Maybe that's what I'm so upset about.
The sheer fact that I am almost entirely who I want to be, who I put aside for what Kyle wanted or whoever came before him... I'm that person now. Happy. Bright. Positive. I do things. I have fun. And I'm in love with Coral Springs, again. I'm back on the right track. I've got things figured out and I make my own decisions. I'm not the jealous and angry person I once was. I'm understanding. This is who I wanted to be and I'm starting to feel like there's nothing left to chase after.
And I hate every part of myself because of it.
I'm becoming numb.
Today was full of distracting myself. And forcing food down my own throat just to keep my body happy despite the nausea I've been creating for myself.
I have nothing, absolutely nothing, to be upset about. And that's the thing, I'm not upset. Maybe that's what I'm so upset about.
The sheer fact that I am almost entirely who I want to be, who I put aside for what Kyle wanted or whoever came before him... I'm that person now. Happy. Bright. Positive. I do things. I have fun. And I'm in love with Coral Springs, again. I'm back on the right track. I've got things figured out and I make my own decisions. I'm not the jealous and angry person I once was. I'm understanding. This is who I wanted to be and I'm starting to feel like there's nothing left to chase after.
And I hate every part of myself because of it.
I'm becoming numb.