Done With You fic, part 2
Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay-e, here it goes, to my lovely cohort of friends and dirty-minded conspirators. :) JUST CLICK the cut already AND ENJOY!
Done With Youpart 2 ( Read more... )
Done With Youpart 2 ( Read more... )
I think you pretty much nailed both of them characterization-wise, the slightly dubious plot notwithstanding. This is what made it a really good read for me; the fact that no matter the plot development, the characters are still themselves imo. I see them clearly all the way through, and I like Krycek's self-discipline and Dean's *attempt* at self-discipline. Both in character, and both hot.
I particularly like your descriptions of body language. The vividity of those makes the story extremely sensual.
Some of the dialogue is not 100% convincing to my ears. I think there are a few times when Dean says... too much. I know he's under considerable pressure but I wonder if his pride would not still prevent him from outright saying “You’ve already got me laid out like a bitch, and begging." Also, the grammatically correct "Whom do I have to suck off" doesn't ring true to me - for such a brash question it is too polished to have Dean adhere to grammatical rules, something he doesn't usually do even when he's speaking of much more polite topics. I know these are very small things, but then, you know me... :)
As for the build-up, this is my favourite moment:
Krycek opened the bottle, splashed some water on the paper tissues, wiping Dean’s chin and nose with his hand, despite Dean’s sputtering and attempts to avoid it.
Oh yeah, that’s humiliating. Learn to live with it.
I almost came in my pants at that. Sorry to be so crude, but that is one seriously high-voltage turn-on for me. Like I already told you, I have a monumental weakness for situations where a cocky guy gets taken down a notch and then *cared for* by the same person who took him down. Humiliating - exactly!! What's more, it shows that the person teaching him a lesson is not hateful towards him, and there's something oh, so delicious about that. It worked perfectly in part one, and it works perfectly here. On top of the loveliness of that, Krycek's thinking "Oh yeah" makes it seem like he actually *shares* this affinity of mine. Oh, I do like that!
I will always have a basic for-the-record objection to any characterization that allows any of my boys to offer an enemy a blowjob, but I realise that you had to stretch it a bit here in order for that kind of action to unfold.
Bloodsport is not a kink of mine, and I don't usually see Dean or Krycek getting off on it either, so all things considered, it's pretty amazing that you actually managed to pull it off in a way that had me reading on with pleasure after the knives were out! I think this is largely due to the fact that you write blood kink in a similar way to the way you write sex: not overly explicit about the *physical* details, focusing instead on the psychology of it and the characters' reactions.
And when all is said and done, I must admit that your description of Dean's reaction to the knife play - whether or not one is into blood kink - was absolutely beautiful. Hot as hell. I mean, god DAMN!
And:
God, he hurt. Everything hurt. He wanted to take his skin off. He wanted his arm back, and his cock loose and a touch, anywhere. His fist clenched helplessly.
Red light. Oh, right. Stop.
Oh, yeah. Heeeeere, kryce-kryce-Krycek! Let me lick your wounds. Ahem.
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Never be ashamed to tell me what *nearly made you come on the spot*, because I *know* such moments in a fic are priceless and rare, and acknowledging the fact you pay me a great compliment. :)
If to be totally objective, I might agree with your note on what *could* come out of Dean's mouth and what could not under the circumstances of the fic, but consider it *my* kink to make Dean say smthg like that. :) Maybe if I wrote it less grammatically correct, you'd accept it? Heh.
So thank you. :) Your pleasure is my pleasure.
And will you be able to beta sequel to Spawn? It will be ca 14 pages long, ready by the end of this week, or so I hope.
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It's good that you take my crudeness as a compliment cus that's exactly what it is.
consider it *my* kink to make Dean say smthg like that. :)
That is the argument to end all argumentation. :) Revelling in one's kinks is fanfic's raison d'être.
It would be my pleasure to beta the sequel to Spawn!! Friday to Sunday of this week I am once again away without Internet access, but I should have some time on my hands come Monday. So if we're lucky, I'll be able to finish it during the course of next week.
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The flight of my fantasy is unstoppable. Tonite I was visited by a crazy idea that to properly wrap up Spawn verse, I have to write the third part, which will be pretty pretty dark. I have the basic plot in my head and the ending too, but it needs to be put on paper. Meanwhile, I will keep on polishing the 2nd part (still no title). So hopefully I will send it to you by next Monday for the 1st beta-read.
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Se,, I corrected it, after 12 years :)
Gosh, you guys, are you alive and well? I went back on LJ a few months ago and it's the creepiest, deadliest place now. :(
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