(no subject)
infiltrate.
I think it says a lot about someone's relationship with God when they can be without someone else's guidance and encouragement and still find themselves searching after God. It's so easy to pursue Him when everything and everyone you know is all about God, but when you're all alone to do things for yourself - when you have no one else to help show you who He is... it's harder. You have to find God for yourself. You have no one but yourself and God to be accountable to, so you have to push yourself to read and to pray and to find His heart somewhere in the midst of this chaos. You would think it was so easy, but it's not. It was easy when I had "authority" telling me if I didn't read "x" amount of chapters and pray "x" amount of hours a day, I was going to hell. It was easy when they held my hand and mapped out my walk with God for me. But when I was left alone to do it for myself, when I had no one around me to fight the good fight beside me... that's when my true faith and trust and belief in God was tested. Passing or failing that test was answered on a minute-by-minute basis, but it's made me so strong in knowing who God is. When I found Him for myself, I found who He REALLY is - not just who people tell me He is. The fight and the struggle is worth it, if it reveals who He is.
I don't say this to glorify myself because I shouldn't be glorified at all. I am the least deserving of any kind of glory on this earth. I say this because I got to talk to someone tonight who had to find God for herself and it really encouraged me. It helped me to see things in a different light, or maybe not even a different light; maybe it was just revealing to me once again how incredible He is. I never want to lose Him.