(no subject)
Yesterday proved a stressful day, because I made several screw ups at work. I nearly forgot to pick Lefty up on the way to work, and so we were five minutes late. Furthermore, I made a couple of inattentive mistakes when doing the inventory for him the other night (probably because I was very tired). There was another, too, but it basically boiled down to an ADD induced mistake. Anyway, Lefty was obviously irritated, and it was tough to overcome feelings of stupidity and worthlessness. Not, I hasten to add, because of anything Lefty did. I did make mistakes, and he’s entitled to find them irritating. Rather, the issue for me is not leaning on the approval of others for validation, and not hammering myself as soon as I make any error, especially when I will inevitably make errors like those of yesterday. Having ADD means that I am, mildly, mentally ill. My brain doesn’t handle some tasks as well as most people, and from time to time, despite my best efforts, I shall make these sorts of mistakes. Managing my disability means accepting that I shall sometimes fail, and moving on from there to the next challenge. After all, I’m actually succeeding in organizing my time and home space, two of my biggest challenges throughout my life, far more often, and more completely, than ever before.
Related to this, I have been experiencing some post-achieving-a-life-goal let down now that my wedding has happened. The two days after were wonderfully relaxed, as Millari and I just spent the days together and had fun. Then, I worked the following six days at/for the store, which is unusual for me. So, last Tuesday, I found myself sleeping very late, reading random comics on the web, and struggling just to drive over to the dump before it closed at 4pm. Today has been better. I have made a conscious effort to recall my goals, and to plan the next steps towards achieving them. Writing this post has been one of them.
And now, I must go home and get the tickets to see Margaret Cho tonight at the Calvin. This should be a lot of fun. Tomorrow, I hope M and I shall spend the day cleaning and arranging our house, and then game in the evening.
Saturday, there’s a Red Sox game with friends as Secretive gets married, and Sunday, my parents are having a reception for M and me.
I hope that we shall have a lovely weekend, if the heat and humidity don't kill us.
Related to this, I have been experiencing some post-achieving-a-life-goal let down now that my wedding has happened. The two days after were wonderfully relaxed, as Millari and I just spent the days together and had fun. Then, I worked the following six days at/for the store, which is unusual for me. So, last Tuesday, I found myself sleeping very late, reading random comics on the web, and struggling just to drive over to the dump before it closed at 4pm. Today has been better. I have made a conscious effort to recall my goals, and to plan the next steps towards achieving them. Writing this post has been one of them.
And now, I must go home and get the tickets to see Margaret Cho tonight at the Calvin. This should be a lot of fun. Tomorrow, I hope M and I shall spend the day cleaning and arranging our house, and then game in the evening.
Saturday, there’s a Red Sox game with friends as Secretive gets married, and Sunday, my parents are having a reception for M and me.
I hope that we shall have a lovely weekend, if the heat and humidity don't kill us.