What's in a name... aside from lots of stuff
Oh, thank God. If not for podcasts like "Stuff Your Mom Never Told You" and the wedding blog, "A Practical Wedding," I may have thought I was going crazy. Thank heavens for the internet, where I can be connected with other crazies.
Every week, I convince myself of a different path to take for my last name. Seriously, why does this bug me? Because it's part of my identity. Because, as cruel as kids are, my name was never a point of mockery in any way. Because I think my parents named me awesomely as a packaged deal of first, middle and last. And that my name (being far less common than his) is cooler, as shallow as that is. His last name is the most common in the nation. Mine, according to a quick goggle search, is 886.
Mostly, I want us to combine our names. I think it would be a wonderful legacy to start, since we plan to have kids some day. It makes our family tree so much more traceable, I think.
I like my last name, and my dad has no sons and his siblings had mostly girls, save for the one lone Y chromosome among my cousins. The family name isn't getting many ways to carry on, and I'd like it to survive in some form. I don't adore my family, but I love them and I love the stories in the family tree. I feel like I'm turning away from that to give up the name entirely.
But, if he doesn't change his name with me to the portmanteau, do the kids get the name? He once mentioned in passing he might change his name, but I'm not sure he meant it. One of his friends teases him already about when he'll be taking my last name. I hate that it could be seen to undermine his authority in the relationship. That's not what I mean at all.
And I don't mind the Mrs. title. There's a lot of ancient traditions in weddings and marriage that date back to women-are-property days, and I'm far less interested in the garter belt tradition than the Mrs. title. But my name is a part of who I am and when I see how my email is set up with my last name more prominent than my first, I just kind of feel a little tug at my heart. Don't ask me why, but I can't stand the idea of hyphens.
Crazy, right? All this over-thinking, over a name. But it's not a pair of shoes or even just an email account. It's the thing I'll sign on a daily basis. It's what will come in the mail and what I'll be called in uncomfortably formal situations.
Every week, I convince myself of a different path to take for my last name. Seriously, why does this bug me? Because it's part of my identity. Because, as cruel as kids are, my name was never a point of mockery in any way. Because I think my parents named me awesomely as a packaged deal of first, middle and last. And that my name (being far less common than his) is cooler, as shallow as that is. His last name is the most common in the nation. Mine, according to a quick goggle search, is 886.
Mostly, I want us to combine our names. I think it would be a wonderful legacy to start, since we plan to have kids some day. It makes our family tree so much more traceable, I think.
I like my last name, and my dad has no sons and his siblings had mostly girls, save for the one lone Y chromosome among my cousins. The family name isn't getting many ways to carry on, and I'd like it to survive in some form. I don't adore my family, but I love them and I love the stories in the family tree. I feel like I'm turning away from that to give up the name entirely.
But, if he doesn't change his name with me to the portmanteau, do the kids get the name? He once mentioned in passing he might change his name, but I'm not sure he meant it. One of his friends teases him already about when he'll be taking my last name. I hate that it could be seen to undermine his authority in the relationship. That's not what I mean at all.
And I don't mind the Mrs. title. There's a lot of ancient traditions in weddings and marriage that date back to women-are-property days, and I'm far less interested in the garter belt tradition than the Mrs. title. But my name is a part of who I am and when I see how my email is set up with my last name more prominent than my first, I just kind of feel a little tug at my heart. Don't ask me why, but I can't stand the idea of hyphens.
Crazy, right? All this over-thinking, over a name. But it's not a pair of shoes or even just an email account. It's the thing I'll sign on a daily basis. It's what will come in the mail and what I'll be called in uncomfortably formal situations.