Real world part zwei . . .
. . . like getting hit with a cock Rooster in the face.
Danny is a fucking idiot, he makes me feel violent. I listen to that idiot talk and can't help but think, "Someone needs to knock some sense into you. Maybe a brick, maybe a long heavy stick, or a silk sock with quarters in it. I'm not sure, but it defiantly needs to happen repeatedly. Laughter may or may not be involved." Just get the job done, that's all I'm saying.
If you're not failure with this worthless show that no one should watch, good for you, here's the deal:
Danny (also known as Beat_ass) is an insecure little douchbag who met this really awesome hot chick named Mel (HottyMcFlirterson). The man has trust issues, and who can blame him? I mean, he's apparently heterosexual so most of his romantic entanglements probably involved women. And if you're romantically entangled with any regular woman in this country, she will give you trust issues eventually.
Oh sure, it might be because she has trust issues of her own, but she will do her damnedest to relay them to you in the most effective manner plausible.
So Danny (Beat_ass) is all freaked out because, now that he's officially Mel's boyfriend, she still talks to men, won't wear a sheet, and laughs. Her behavior is clearly unacceptable. I'm not sure, but I think she was even wearing shoes. Also, she I'm willing to wager she isn't pregnant either. Paw is gonna be pissed!
Their friend Katie's solution? "Then let him think he's right."
Lacy (pastey_virginchick) has an interesting thought for once. She says, "That is F- bullshit! House on the prairie talk, 'Let him think he's right,'? Katie's fucked up. . . 'Let him think he's right, when he's completely wrong, and yelling at you about nothing . . . if you love him you'll let him abuse you.'" Well said Lacy, now go get your cheery popped.
Cut to, Mel (HottyMcFlirterson) making shit up about how she was wrong. Her, clearly, concocted story whizzes right past Beat_ass's radar as he replies: "That's what I felt. I felt like you were just doing it to make me mad."
Beat_ass accepts her apology, and then HottyMcFlirterson basically proposes to him. I think that's so sad it's whimsical. It races right past the, "So sad it's funny." and does a strange sort of loop back on itself and is kinda sad again. It's too sad to be funny. Like that time you went to your grandma's funeral and started laughing? Well it's sadder than that by a quarter of a revolution.
-END EPISODE-
-Begin next episode-
It's MTV so . . . BEGIN -BAND BS-. "No no, the real world: Austin belongs on MTV! It's music related!"
Pastey_virginchick does an audio monologue about how much she hates the bands they're following, and how she isn't interested in anything they have to say in anyway. You know, basically saying the client is crap and there is no reason for her to be documenting this drivel.
Thanks to editing, the next scene is some Band showing up at the house, and how she thinks it's unprofessional. Now the art business is pretty laid back, in my experience, and clients are wined and dined and partied with by their business partners... because that's how artists are. Although, usually there is some air of professionalism to the whole thing. I mean, it's not like telling everyone the artist you just signed is complete crap.
ArmyChick wants to bang the lead singer. Trust me baby, lead guitar is where the real trouble is. The lead singer got his balls chopped so he can sing better, go lead guitar. They really do have a lot in common; like his doomed band, and her involvment in Iraq.... So she does the right thing and gets drunk and tries to impress him.
Young_blackguy (Nehimia) rips her a new one. It's great. I like him more and more all the time:
Cheesy_white_pimp (Wes?):What'd she do?
Young_blackguy: Ripped that bitch off the hindges! (She broke some indoor basketball thing trying to help the lead singer actually make some baskets. The irony here is, he may well have been trying to impress her by making baskets, but his lack of testicles prevented him from not sucking at that too.)
Cheesy_white_pimp: YOU BROKE THE MACHINE!
Young_blackguy: What made you jump into it Rachael?
Armychick: I'm stupid!
Young_blackguy: That's not a good enough reason. Ya, obviously! . . . Is that cute? . . . Is that attractive? . . . Is that gonna make him like you more?
Leadsinger & Young_blackguy then make STUPID_Armychick think Young_blackguy is kicking out LeadSinger. STUPID_Armychick starts to cry. I laugh, and laugh and laugh. Everyone calls her stupid, and they are right. I feel vindicated.
Pasty_virginchick got a little kick ass when she described it to her cripple BF: "I was like, you're gonna cheat on your girlfriend with Racheal? That's LOW! If I was that girl, I would be suicidal." I find this is funny in a, "The words you say are hilarious because not only is there a semblance of truth, this is guaranteed to come back and bite you in the ass. Because this is a reality TV show." sorta way.
Is that too specific? A little too focused? Maybe I should have gone with "... funny in a 'MUUUUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA' sort of way," Yes? No? Please enter choice now.
You have selected "Espagnol"
Pour continuer dans l'Espagnol, serrez svp 1 maintenant.
Ainsi Rachael tire un "Johann" et fout la merde dans l'alarme plaçant le temps. Ils obtiennent au camping, ne peuvent pas trouver la bande foutue, ainsi ils type là indique "...Turn left, then you have to walk a little over two miles." Je ne sais pas si les producteurs projetaient cela ou pas. Mais pourquoi une bande appelée "Forest" à un campsite... est-elle dans le désert?
Alors il y avait cette publicité vraiment drôle pour pour la nouvelle session de "Punk'd".
Then Danny has this great idea to jump off a cliff. He doesn't get hurt though (an obvious oversight). White Daisy Dukes don't turn see through when wet, but florescent pink shirts... they kinda do, and that's how you keep the kids interested. Thanks MTV, you know where to get the money shots from. Now, if you could only show Lacy getting deflowered on the air, then you'd really have porn... and your desired 18-26 demographic. Imagine the ad revenue! The irony would be great too, because you're whoring yourself out to the advertisers, she's whoring herself out to you, but in the end we're the ones getting fucked.
Then Pasty_virginchick is confronted by Rachael (Army_chick) when she's caught on tape talking trash behind Rachael's back. Which is hilarious, because she talks her way out of it. The dubious mental capabilities of America's army assert themselves yet again. And I quote, "There is no way to prove or disprove her at this point."
Well, Armychick, what about the fucking video tape? You know, that thing you're confronting her with? Did you think of that, maybe while you were playing it back to her? That oh, I don't know, maybe the video tape wasn't created in some magic workshop where fairies and gnomes crap on celluloid, wash it in the blood of virgins and then freeze dry it in an isolated part of hell (where Satan didn't quite get the temp right) to properly create a picture out of Ferris Oxide, fictitious as those images may be . . . rather then the whole Lens, CCD, magnet thing. It really could go either way, you know, with the blood.
Danny is a fucking idiot, he makes me feel violent. I listen to that idiot talk and can't help but think, "Someone needs to knock some sense into you. Maybe a brick, maybe a long heavy stick, or a silk sock with quarters in it. I'm not sure, but it defiantly needs to happen repeatedly. Laughter may or may not be involved." Just get the job done, that's all I'm saying.
If you're not failure with this worthless show that no one should watch, good for you, here's the deal:
Danny (also known as Beat_ass) is an insecure little douchbag who met this really awesome hot chick named Mel (HottyMcFlirterson). The man has trust issues, and who can blame him? I mean, he's apparently heterosexual so most of his romantic entanglements probably involved women. And if you're romantically entangled with any regular woman in this country, she will give you trust issues eventually.
Oh sure, it might be because she has trust issues of her own, but she will do her damnedest to relay them to you in the most effective manner plausible.
So Danny (Beat_ass) is all freaked out because, now that he's officially Mel's boyfriend, she still talks to men, won't wear a sheet, and laughs. Her behavior is clearly unacceptable. I'm not sure, but I think she was even wearing shoes. Also, she I'm willing to wager she isn't pregnant either. Paw is gonna be pissed!
Their friend Katie's solution? "Then let him think he's right."
Lacy (pastey_virginchick) has an interesting thought for once. She says, "That is F- bullshit! House on the prairie talk, 'Let him think he's right,'? Katie's fucked up. . . 'Let him think he's right, when he's completely wrong, and yelling at you about nothing . . . if you love him you'll let him abuse you.'" Well said Lacy, now go get your cheery popped.
Cut to, Mel (HottyMcFlirterson) making shit up about how she was wrong. Her, clearly, concocted story whizzes right past Beat_ass's radar as he replies: "That's what I felt. I felt like you were just doing it to make me mad."
Beat_ass accepts her apology, and then HottyMcFlirterson basically proposes to him. I think that's so sad it's whimsical. It races right past the, "So sad it's funny." and does a strange sort of loop back on itself and is kinda sad again. It's too sad to be funny. Like that time you went to your grandma's funeral and started laughing? Well it's sadder than that by a quarter of a revolution.
-END EPISODE-
-Begin next episode-
It's MTV so . . . BEGIN -BAND BS-. "No no, the real world: Austin belongs on MTV! It's music related!"
Pastey_virginchick does an audio monologue about how much she hates the bands they're following, and how she isn't interested in anything they have to say in anyway. You know, basically saying the client is crap and there is no reason for her to be documenting this drivel.
Thanks to editing, the next scene is some Band showing up at the house, and how she thinks it's unprofessional. Now the art business is pretty laid back, in my experience, and clients are wined and dined and partied with by their business partners... because that's how artists are. Although, usually there is some air of professionalism to the whole thing. I mean, it's not like telling everyone the artist you just signed is complete crap.
ArmyChick wants to bang the lead singer. Trust me baby, lead guitar is where the real trouble is. The lead singer got his balls chopped so he can sing better, go lead guitar. They really do have a lot in common; like his doomed band, and her involvment in Iraq.... So she does the right thing and gets drunk and tries to impress him.
Young_blackguy (Nehimia) rips her a new one. It's great. I like him more and more all the time:
Cheesy_white_pimp (Wes?):What'd she do?
Young_blackguy: Ripped that bitch off the hindges! (She broke some indoor basketball thing trying to help the lead singer actually make some baskets. The irony here is, he may well have been trying to impress her by making baskets, but his lack of testicles prevented him from not sucking at that too.)
Cheesy_white_pimp: YOU BROKE THE MACHINE!
Young_blackguy: What made you jump into it Rachael?
Armychick: I'm stupid!
Young_blackguy: That's not a good enough reason. Ya, obviously! . . . Is that cute? . . . Is that attractive? . . . Is that gonna make him like you more?
Leadsinger & Young_blackguy then make STUPID_Armychick think Young_blackguy is kicking out LeadSinger. STUPID_Armychick starts to cry. I laugh, and laugh and laugh. Everyone calls her stupid, and they are right. I feel vindicated.
Pasty_virginchick got a little kick ass when she described it to her cripple BF: "I was like, you're gonna cheat on your girlfriend with Racheal? That's LOW! If I was that girl, I would be suicidal." I find this is funny in a, "The words you say are hilarious because not only is there a semblance of truth, this is guaranteed to come back and bite you in the ass. Because this is a reality TV show." sorta way.
Is that too specific? A little too focused? Maybe I should have gone with "... funny in a 'MUUUUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA' sort of way," Yes? No? Please enter choice now.
You have selected "Espagnol"
Pour continuer dans l'Espagnol, serrez svp 1 maintenant.
Ainsi Rachael tire un "Johann" et fout la merde dans l'alarme plaçant le temps. Ils obtiennent au camping, ne peuvent pas trouver la bande foutue, ainsi ils type là indique "...Turn left, then you have to walk a little over two miles." Je ne sais pas si les producteurs projetaient cela ou pas. Mais pourquoi une bande appelée "Forest" à un campsite... est-elle dans le désert?
Alors il y avait cette publicité vraiment drôle pour pour la nouvelle session de "Punk'd".
Then Danny has this great idea to jump off a cliff. He doesn't get hurt though (an obvious oversight). White Daisy Dukes don't turn see through when wet, but florescent pink shirts... they kinda do, and that's how you keep the kids interested. Thanks MTV, you know where to get the money shots from. Now, if you could only show Lacy getting deflowered on the air, then you'd really have porn... and your desired 18-26 demographic. Imagine the ad revenue! The irony would be great too, because you're whoring yourself out to the advertisers, she's whoring herself out to you, but in the end we're the ones getting fucked.
Then Pasty_virginchick is confronted by Rachael (Army_chick) when she's caught on tape talking trash behind Rachael's back. Which is hilarious, because she talks her way out of it. The dubious mental capabilities of America's army assert themselves yet again. And I quote, "There is no way to prove or disprove her at this point."
Well, Armychick, what about the fucking video tape? You know, that thing you're confronting her with? Did you think of that, maybe while you were playing it back to her? That oh, I don't know, maybe the video tape wasn't created in some magic workshop where fairies and gnomes crap on celluloid, wash it in the blood of virgins and then freeze dry it in an isolated part of hell (where Satan didn't quite get the temp right) to properly create a picture out of Ferris Oxide, fictitious as those images may be . . . rather then the whole Lens, CCD, magnet thing. It really could go either way, you know, with the blood.