Internet Thou Art Daunting
I wanted to post this on facebook but I didn't have the balls. I simply don't like revealing this much of myself to that many other people. The internet is a far too public place for I. Anyways.
I recently started reading about picky eaters on the internet. It always seems to be a description I carry around what myself. A lot of people know of me as a picky eater, an annnoying adjective.
From the stories of others that I've read so far, I wonder of maybe that's not where some of my shyness issue comes from. I remember dreading having to eat a friends house. I would get really anxious and nervous, and constantly worry about whether or not there'd be something I'd eat. Some people were very offended and forceful if I politely refused their food. There were a few occasions where I'd be forced to sit at the table until I choked down something I would normally never eat. I hated every second of it. There was a time I refused an invite from a boy I had a major crush on to come over to his house after school, stay for dinner, and go to army cadets together because I didn't want to deal with the picky eater embarassment.
I recently tried a blueberry. I came home one day after work with two packages of blueberries for Brooklynn since I didn't get her anything from Vernon only to find that Trish had already bought a huge package of them too. I was outside BBQ hot dogs for dinner while Trish and Brooklynn hung out on the deck eating blueberries. Brooklynn hands a blueberry to Trish and then walks over to me to give me one as well. I hesitated a moment and Trish said, "Take it. I'll eat it." Instead, in a rare flash of courage, I popped to the blueberry into my mouth and started to chew. It had the consistency of a grape with those tiny gritty seeds like raspberries. And having only had blueberry flavoured candy as reference, it had a very weak taste. Blueberry candy is like blueberry concentrate.
I also recently ate some lettuce and what I think might have been finely sliced up radish. It just didn't taste as strong as I remember radishes tasting. I use to eat them as a kid but I don't think I would now. I would eat them like my dad, pouring lots of salt on them. I have to say the lettuce was disgusting. It was from a salad I got at dinner last night in the restaurant in the hotel. I have no idea why you people eat that. I didn't get any dressing on it because I kind of think dressing is gross and oily. I can't stand the taste of oil, despite the fact that I love things deep fried, due to swallowing tablespoons of Udo's 369 oil. The only cream dressing I enjoy is ranch but I know that it's disgustingly bad for you. The lettuce was very bitter.
I have to say though, most of the stories I read from other picky eaters were much worse than me. Most of those people would just automatically throw up if they even put the food in their mouths. So maybe the reason I don't eat all those foods I've never tried is because I instinctively know I won't like them. So there world.
But these few events have inspired me. These events and the preview for the movie Julie&Julia. Maybe I'll try trying something new every day. Maybe it'll be something to occupy me enough so I'll stop smoking so much weed. Weed takes up A LOT of my free time. It's my hobby that I pursue endlessly and whenever I quit I get endlessly bored. Also I'm tired of lurking around, smoking outside, constantly paranoid that someone will come by and accost me. That's probably mostly due to the fact that I don't have anywhere to smoke inside.
Also life kind of sucks right now. Suicide Tuesday ruined my birthday and soured the whole experience(the vomiting didn't exactly help either, actually it really ruined it, I hardly think about the K Days part when I recall the evening). I'd rather not even think about it at all. As far as I'm concerned my 24th birthday is the birthday that didn't happen. Which kind of sucks since next year I'll be 25, it's a milestone, a quarter of a century.
I really wish I had some cotton candy.
I recently started reading about picky eaters on the internet. It always seems to be a description I carry around what myself. A lot of people know of me as a picky eater, an annnoying adjective.
From the stories of others that I've read so far, I wonder of maybe that's not where some of my shyness issue comes from. I remember dreading having to eat a friends house. I would get really anxious and nervous, and constantly worry about whether or not there'd be something I'd eat. Some people were very offended and forceful if I politely refused their food. There were a few occasions where I'd be forced to sit at the table until I choked down something I would normally never eat. I hated every second of it. There was a time I refused an invite from a boy I had a major crush on to come over to his house after school, stay for dinner, and go to army cadets together because I didn't want to deal with the picky eater embarassment.
I recently tried a blueberry. I came home one day after work with two packages of blueberries for Brooklynn since I didn't get her anything from Vernon only to find that Trish had already bought a huge package of them too. I was outside BBQ hot dogs for dinner while Trish and Brooklynn hung out on the deck eating blueberries. Brooklynn hands a blueberry to Trish and then walks over to me to give me one as well. I hesitated a moment and Trish said, "Take it. I'll eat it." Instead, in a rare flash of courage, I popped to the blueberry into my mouth and started to chew. It had the consistency of a grape with those tiny gritty seeds like raspberries. And having only had blueberry flavoured candy as reference, it had a very weak taste. Blueberry candy is like blueberry concentrate.
I also recently ate some lettuce and what I think might have been finely sliced up radish. It just didn't taste as strong as I remember radishes tasting. I use to eat them as a kid but I don't think I would now. I would eat them like my dad, pouring lots of salt on them. I have to say the lettuce was disgusting. It was from a salad I got at dinner last night in the restaurant in the hotel. I have no idea why you people eat that. I didn't get any dressing on it because I kind of think dressing is gross and oily. I can't stand the taste of oil, despite the fact that I love things deep fried, due to swallowing tablespoons of Udo's 369 oil. The only cream dressing I enjoy is ranch but I know that it's disgustingly bad for you. The lettuce was very bitter.
I have to say though, most of the stories I read from other picky eaters were much worse than me. Most of those people would just automatically throw up if they even put the food in their mouths. So maybe the reason I don't eat all those foods I've never tried is because I instinctively know I won't like them. So there world.
But these few events have inspired me. These events and the preview for the movie Julie&Julia. Maybe I'll try trying something new every day. Maybe it'll be something to occupy me enough so I'll stop smoking so much weed. Weed takes up A LOT of my free time. It's my hobby that I pursue endlessly and whenever I quit I get endlessly bored. Also I'm tired of lurking around, smoking outside, constantly paranoid that someone will come by and accost me. That's probably mostly due to the fact that I don't have anywhere to smoke inside.
Also life kind of sucks right now. Suicide Tuesday ruined my birthday and soured the whole experience(the vomiting didn't exactly help either, actually it really ruined it, I hardly think about the K Days part when I recall the evening). I'd rather not even think about it at all. As far as I'm concerned my 24th birthday is the birthday that didn't happen. Which kind of sucks since next year I'll be 25, it's a milestone, a quarter of a century.
I really wish I had some cotton candy.