(no subject)
My mother should write a "How To" book entitled, "How To Make Your Daughter Miserable and Push Her To The Point Where She Tottering On The Edge Of Insanity, All While Covertly Destroying Her Self-esteem." But the publisher would be hard pressed to fit all that on a cover, and I think that's why she has yet to write that book, besides that fact that she has trouble spelling her own name... Anyway, she can be such a bitch, always nagging me and always critising me. She never shuts up; one would think she would lose her voice once in a while. To put it simply she makes me feel like an incompetent piece of shit.
I am almost certain she is that cause for my migraines.... I have sooo many of them in recent monthes. And I can't sleep when she is at home, it's rather bazarre actually. I sleep like a baby all night long and sleep in til practically noon on weekends or other night she is at her bf's, but on nights she is at home I am an insomniac. It's like I'm subconciously scared Cathy is some sort of boogieman who will come and slaughter me in my sleep. I also think she causes my stomach problems, but I really should avoid using her as a scapegoat for all my problems..... but I seriously do think she is making me physically ill.
Also my mother seemed a lot more accommidating to hectic school schedule last semester and Spring semester before that... not so much this semester. The pressure between doing what she wants done, going to my grandmother's, and school, was just too much for me to take. So one of my classes had to go, so I had to drop Drawing and Composition II... I really liked that class.... But I was behind and the class was on Wedesday mornings and that is when Cathy is out on her long bike rides and I can be home when she isn't.I will do just about anything to avoid her, just short of getting a job. So now I am only taking 15.5 units, and it's going to be sad to see a W on my transcripts.
My FinAid check hasn't come so I only have 100 bucks and I have to make it last.... Cathy keeps screaming at me to go to the FinAid office and find out where the check is. Cathy said if I don't find out she won't give me any money. At this statment, I had to try VERY hard to restraint a full blown laughing fit, if you knew my mother you would to. I get NONE of my money from that woman, I gave up trying ages ago; she is so tight pursed. All my money I use came from FinAid grants(until I spent it all; it wasn't much), working at my grandmother's house on weekends, or doing odd jobs like a commission here-and there and taking in cans. Sometimes I ask her to get money from MY other account that I can't access, but I learned last time it's not really worth it to do that because once again it's like pulling teeth and she witholds MY money once she gets it out of the account. Honestly, I don't like Cathy being able to access that account, I just don't trust her when it comes to money.... I talked to my grandmother(the one who opened the account when I was born) about that, but if it were up to her she would nomminate my mother for sainthood.
God damn, venting feels so good. It's depressing to hold it in... When my relatives did that a year ago it was like they put a few knots in the nuse.
I am almost certain she is that cause for my migraines.... I have sooo many of them in recent monthes. And I can't sleep when she is at home, it's rather bazarre actually. I sleep like a baby all night long and sleep in til practically noon on weekends or other night she is at her bf's, but on nights she is at home I am an insomniac. It's like I'm subconciously scared Cathy is some sort of boogieman who will come and slaughter me in my sleep. I also think she causes my stomach problems, but I really should avoid using her as a scapegoat for all my problems..... but I seriously do think she is making me physically ill.
Also my mother seemed a lot more accommidating to hectic school schedule last semester and Spring semester before that... not so much this semester. The pressure between doing what she wants done, going to my grandmother's, and school, was just too much for me to take. So one of my classes had to go, so I had to drop Drawing and Composition II... I really liked that class.... But I was behind and the class was on Wedesday mornings and that is when Cathy is out on her long bike rides and I can be home when she isn't.I will do just about anything to avoid her, just short of getting a job. So now I am only taking 15.5 units, and it's going to be sad to see a W on my transcripts.
My FinAid check hasn't come so I only have 100 bucks and I have to make it last.... Cathy keeps screaming at me to go to the FinAid office and find out where the check is. Cathy said if I don't find out she won't give me any money. At this statment, I had to try VERY hard to restraint a full blown laughing fit, if you knew my mother you would to. I get NONE of my money from that woman, I gave up trying ages ago; she is so tight pursed. All my money I use came from FinAid grants(until I spent it all; it wasn't much), working at my grandmother's house on weekends, or doing odd jobs like a commission here-and there and taking in cans. Sometimes I ask her to get money from MY other account that I can't access, but I learned last time it's not really worth it to do that because once again it's like pulling teeth and she witholds MY money once she gets it out of the account. Honestly, I don't like Cathy being able to access that account, I just don't trust her when it comes to money.... I talked to my grandmother(the one who opened the account when I was born) about that, but if it were up to her she would nomminate my mother for sainthood.
God damn, venting feels so good. It's depressing to hold it in... When my relatives did that a year ago it was like they put a few knots in the nuse.