Notes to those people with whom I've had automotive interactions:

Aug 28, 2006 12:39

To the African American lady who was backing her car up toward me yesterday as I walked behind: When I yelled out to alert you of my presence, I meant to say, "Whoa" and unfortunately it came out, "Ho!" You see, when I worked in the circus, people would yell, "ho!" to alert others that they're coming through on stilts, or carrying a heavy prop, or if they don't want to get trampled by stilts or heavy props. This was long before the current, more urban meaning entered the popular vernacular. I would have liked to explain this to you but the time didn't seem right. I humbly apologize for any misunderstanding resulting in your screaming all bat-shit at me through your window.

Also, to the teenagers last week who honked at me, laughing. I just want you kids to know that some day you might find yourself sitting at a stop light, looking in the rear view mirror at the hairs unattractively growing out of your nose. And maybe, just maybe, you will realize that the most expedient way to take care of it is with the toenail clippers you keep in your ashtray. I hope that when this happens to you in say, your late 30's or early 40's, that some young punks will honk and laugh at you. I don't think you will have the same class and courtesy as I extended to you, offering to trim their nostril hairs with toenail clippers.

I hope that clears things up for all people involved.
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