My Grandma Hill
Today I took care of a patient that was a... dead ringer for my dead grandma.
I love my Grandma, and I don't think it's crazy to love dead people. A year after she died, in 2001, a woman at a poetry reading approached me and told me I had an aura of someone who loved me all around me. I still choose to believe that my Grandma is still part of my life. I'm sitting on one of her quilts. I have her eyes.
This patient had her salt and pepper hair, her midwestern old lady perm, her stooped shoulders, her eyes, the little bump on her nose, and she was spunky as hell. I could tell she loved her children and family fiercely. I lost my breath for a minute when I first saw her, and nearly asked to switch patients. I mentioned to her that she resembled my grandma, and she said "Honey, you can call me Grandma if you want" and I nearly lost it.
I miss Grandma Hill so much. She is the reason for so much of who I am. I always think of her and I always want her back. Seeing this woman was a gift in a lot of ways. I know they are not the same person (although we talked back through our family history, and she's from Kansas, we are probably very distant cousins).
Grandma would be proud of me today. The job I do and who I am.
Other notes: I managed to eat 3 meals with only a small amount of pain today. It got bad about 10 AM, so I called and got tylenol from pharmacy. It's a little bit sore now. Sticking to the chicken and rice I had made up. I have plenty of that for a couple more days.
Just getting by day by day. John was pretty freaked at the idea of me eating a bland diet for the next few weeks, but if that is what doesn't that's what we have to do.
I have to sleep now.
I love my Grandma, and I don't think it's crazy to love dead people. A year after she died, in 2001, a woman at a poetry reading approached me and told me I had an aura of someone who loved me all around me. I still choose to believe that my Grandma is still part of my life. I'm sitting on one of her quilts. I have her eyes.
This patient had her salt and pepper hair, her midwestern old lady perm, her stooped shoulders, her eyes, the little bump on her nose, and she was spunky as hell. I could tell she loved her children and family fiercely. I lost my breath for a minute when I first saw her, and nearly asked to switch patients. I mentioned to her that she resembled my grandma, and she said "Honey, you can call me Grandma if you want" and I nearly lost it.
I miss Grandma Hill so much. She is the reason for so much of who I am. I always think of her and I always want her back. Seeing this woman was a gift in a lot of ways. I know they are not the same person (although we talked back through our family history, and she's from Kansas, we are probably very distant cousins).
Grandma would be proud of me today. The job I do and who I am.
Other notes: I managed to eat 3 meals with only a small amount of pain today. It got bad about 10 AM, so I called and got tylenol from pharmacy. It's a little bit sore now. Sticking to the chicken and rice I had made up. I have plenty of that for a couple more days.
Just getting by day by day. John was pretty freaked at the idea of me eating a bland diet for the next few weeks, but if that is what doesn't that's what we have to do.
I have to sleep now.