Fuck this
Years ago I remember watching an episode of "Just the ten of us" in which Jamie Lunar's character (typical ditsy, late 80s valley girl, more looks than comprehension) goes on a date with a boy and orders lobster. The boy then proceeds to almost rape her, and is completely at a loss as to why he expected that she would sleep with him.
While discussing this trauma with her older sister, she brings up the fact that she ordered lobster at dinner. Its all clear now to the older sister, she ordered an expensive item on the menu so of course the boy thought he could fuck her. The older sister explains this to Jamie Lunar, who is of course still oblivious and responds "Well, I just wanted to try lobster. I've never had it before". The older sister then chastises her for ordering such an expensive item off the menu in a "what did you expect" diatribe. I believe she referred to her younger sister as a "sure thing".
This pisses me off on so many levels, and the fact that I remember it so clearly is the worst part. It obviously left an indelible mark on my psyche as a child of 7 or 8. Why are we OK with this kind of bullshit being taught to children who will then see it as natural and go on to become abusers and victims? I am so angry that I and many other girls were taught that if a man takes you out for a nice dinner, you better eat something cheap if you don't plan on fucking him. And whats the deal with the girl on girl hate coming from the older sister? Rather than console her younger sibling, she places the blame fully on her shoulders and forces her to feel guilty for attempting to enjoy herself on her date without sexual expectations.
I don't know why I thought about this after so many years. Probably because every time I think of dating, or lobster, or dinner, or Jamie Lunar, I'm treated to a subconscious trigger that reminds me that I better watch how I act, or someone is going to rape me. Oh and my vagina is worth the price of a lobster dinner.
While discussing this trauma with her older sister, she brings up the fact that she ordered lobster at dinner. Its all clear now to the older sister, she ordered an expensive item on the menu so of course the boy thought he could fuck her. The older sister explains this to Jamie Lunar, who is of course still oblivious and responds "Well, I just wanted to try lobster. I've never had it before". The older sister then chastises her for ordering such an expensive item off the menu in a "what did you expect" diatribe. I believe she referred to her younger sister as a "sure thing".
This pisses me off on so many levels, and the fact that I remember it so clearly is the worst part. It obviously left an indelible mark on my psyche as a child of 7 or 8. Why are we OK with this kind of bullshit being taught to children who will then see it as natural and go on to become abusers and victims? I am so angry that I and many other girls were taught that if a man takes you out for a nice dinner, you better eat something cheap if you don't plan on fucking him. And whats the deal with the girl on girl hate coming from the older sister? Rather than console her younger sibling, she places the blame fully on her shoulders and forces her to feel guilty for attempting to enjoy herself on her date without sexual expectations.
I don't know why I thought about this after so many years. Probably because every time I think of dating, or lobster, or dinner, or Jamie Lunar, I'm treated to a subconscious trigger that reminds me that I better watch how I act, or someone is going to rape me. Oh and my vagina is worth the price of a lobster dinner.