(no subject)
I'm not happy.
That's fine, I know lots of people aren't always happy. But something makes me feel weird.
currently I'm in my second year of university, I've moved into the new house and I have a steady, if monotonous, job. The student society I founded last year is going well and we potentially have 150 members this year, we'll find out for sure over the next few days.
My girlfriend is back in the country and we're spending time together. I'm eating more healthily than ever before, I've stopped drinking coke and heavily cut back on the fizzy drinks. I'm a little strapped for cash, but I'm controlling it much better than I used to.
Just about everything there is positive and yet I don't feel happy. Occasionally I feel content, that's usually when I'm watching a TV-show I like or when I'm playing a computer game (escapism - I feel better when I'm in a different world)
It reminds me of something that was in Robbie Williams' official biography
"I'm not depressed about anything; I just have a disease called depression"
I don't know if I really have depression or not because every time I go to a counsellor or psychologist the issue is skirted around and I'm always slightly suspicious that I'm sabotaging myself. I've always been resistant to even the concept of going on anti-depressants, I don't like altering my brain chemistry which is why I've dropped caffeine and alcohol. But earlier this year I decided that I was fed up of never feeling happy and wanted to just fill up on artificial happy. That fell through, the doctor was supposed to be sending some information through; never arrived.
That's fine, I know lots of people aren't always happy. But something makes me feel weird.
currently I'm in my second year of university, I've moved into the new house and I have a steady, if monotonous, job. The student society I founded last year is going well and we potentially have 150 members this year, we'll find out for sure over the next few days.
My girlfriend is back in the country and we're spending time together. I'm eating more healthily than ever before, I've stopped drinking coke and heavily cut back on the fizzy drinks. I'm a little strapped for cash, but I'm controlling it much better than I used to.
Just about everything there is positive and yet I don't feel happy. Occasionally I feel content, that's usually when I'm watching a TV-show I like or when I'm playing a computer game (escapism - I feel better when I'm in a different world)
It reminds me of something that was in Robbie Williams' official biography
"I'm not depressed about anything; I just have a disease called depression"
I don't know if I really have depression or not because every time I go to a counsellor or psychologist the issue is skirted around and I'm always slightly suspicious that I'm sabotaging myself. I've always been resistant to even the concept of going on anti-depressants, I don't like altering my brain chemistry which is why I've dropped caffeine and alcohol. But earlier this year I decided that I was fed up of never feeling happy and wanted to just fill up on artificial happy. That fell through, the doctor was supposed to be sending some information through; never arrived.