so cold
so cold. so cold. i cant begin to explain how wierd it feels to be in the company of someone you love with all of your being and might, and that someone feeling the same in return. the catch is that. i dated her two years ago before the bottom fell out. i was doing stuff i shouldnt have been doing. and my actions were causing every inert crust of a man that i was to change and i lost what i had. now i know that the road once traveled is far to bumpy to ever travel again. i wrote her a letter and sent a single yellow rose to her house. the note simply read that i was sorry for the past, i give a few good supporting details on how exactly ive moved on from the past. honestly having this very special person as a friend instead of a nobody to me is a blessing to me. i managed to go two whole years and not talk to her. think about her yes, plenty. its so wierd to be in her company though, because once you act in a fashion towards someone, then its different when you change your stance {diplomatically}. do you want an example. ok. me, jaclynn, her cousin austin, and my best friend adam had all went to walmart, because me and her didnt want to go alone. i dont trust myself around her by herself. i dont know why she wanted to bring austin, but i think its for the same reason. when we left walmart, we went to adams house and she didnt want to get out of her truck. so austin was on the passenger side not paying attention to anyone. then adam was inside. she had her window rolled down. and i had my head laying on the window frame. she said that she needed to go home, so i said ok. she lowered her head to about 4 inches from mine. i wanted more than anything in the world to kiss that girl. there isnt much i wouldnt give up for her. and thats why im so scared of her and me. remember i been down this road. i know how it ended last time does anyone out there think there might be a chance in the world for something like this to turn into a happy ending? if so im all ears.