(no subject)
so i have been on vacation at disney with my wonderful relatives from california for the past 8 days or so. i had a wonderful time. i had time to think and embrace a lot of things.
i think i have been sad for a long time. i have times when i feel normal or like i think i should feel...but it leaves. i have been letting things weigh down and burden me. i didn't think i was so consumed by negative emotion until now. so i have a lot to get off of my chest.
i have learned and accepted that even though i have a lot of "friends", i don't have a bountiful amount of good friends. but i think that is the way it should be. we are all too different to be good friends with everybody.
who, other than a few people, understands the real meaning of the word love? what do any of you know? what do i know? we will mistake countless feelings for love. and i have been in a few situations in which i thought i had love. but we all have our limits and sometimes the hardest thing to do is to accept that you giving your best just isn't enough. at first that despair killed me. but after thinking about it for a while, i discovered that my best was too good...and i have something better waiting for me out there somewhere.
i really want to see my cousin jonathan. it's been about 4 years.
fuck, i hate sounding unhappy. i had a good time this past week. we have extra water park/disney quest/pleasure island passes. so we will probably take some friends with us to those places. just let me know if you want to.
i think i want to go to the movies and see something. i haven't done that in so long.
we ate at emaril's or whatever it is. he was that cook that would go "BAM!" when he cooked or whatever. the bill was $600. but it was great food.
i've been writing lyrics. and that's the good thing that comes from me thinking.
i'm not tired at all anymore...i think i am going to go somewhere now.
i think i have been sad for a long time. i have times when i feel normal or like i think i should feel...but it leaves. i have been letting things weigh down and burden me. i didn't think i was so consumed by negative emotion until now. so i have a lot to get off of my chest.
i have learned and accepted that even though i have a lot of "friends", i don't have a bountiful amount of good friends. but i think that is the way it should be. we are all too different to be good friends with everybody.
who, other than a few people, understands the real meaning of the word love? what do any of you know? what do i know? we will mistake countless feelings for love. and i have been in a few situations in which i thought i had love. but we all have our limits and sometimes the hardest thing to do is to accept that you giving your best just isn't enough. at first that despair killed me. but after thinking about it for a while, i discovered that my best was too good...and i have something better waiting for me out there somewhere.
i really want to see my cousin jonathan. it's been about 4 years.
fuck, i hate sounding unhappy. i had a good time this past week. we have extra water park/disney quest/pleasure island passes. so we will probably take some friends with us to those places. just let me know if you want to.
i think i want to go to the movies and see something. i haven't done that in so long.
we ate at emaril's or whatever it is. he was that cook that would go "BAM!" when he cooked or whatever. the bill was $600. but it was great food.
i've been writing lyrics. and that's the good thing that comes from me thinking.
i'm not tired at all anymore...i think i am going to go somewhere now.